BASTARD Mirena

[DancesWithSockPuppets]

AIBU to suggest that the people behind the Mirena coil change its name to "BASTARD Mirena"; and that GPs are required to use its full name (or "BASTARD" for short) when hard-selling it to their innocent, trusting patients?

For example: "Oh yes, I've never encountered anyone who didn't get on with the BASTARD Mirena. In fact, research has shown that women who opt for the BASTARD are nicer, happier, 93% more likely to win the lottery and can shit cakes."

Finally, AIBU to think that GPs should need a license to hard-sell the BASTARD Mirena, and in order to GET a license they must be fitted with a Mirena themselves for at least a week. Up the arse. Sideways.

It's been a godsend with regard to very heavy periods - now very much a thing of the past.

Not happy at all with the weight-gain. Have never reached this weight before.

As for mood-swings, I have to remind myself to take a deep breath and try very very hard to suppress any outbursts.

As for the smell, I shall now monitor this.

Yes, a very hard-sell from the GP.

However, balancing this all up, I'd have to say I'm happy to keep the Mirena if it means no more heavy periods. Would anyone using the Mirena for heavy periods swap back to having heavy periods?

Ok, seriously, anyone reading this thread with a bastard already in or a planning a bastard in the future, just listen to my cautionary tale.

When I had mine replaced after 5 years, I walked into the doctors, an active busy, working mum. The next day I was sicker than I'd ever been, 3 days later I was in intensive care. I won't bore you with details but I am incredibly lucky to be alive after the BASTARD gave me toxic shock from which developed septicaemia, heart complications and polyarthritis, pulmonary embolism...

Apparently it's rare, but it happens. So all I want to say is that, if you get any symptoms -headache, vomitting, dizziness -after having the bastard coil inserted, seek medical attention immediately!

And, agree whole heartedly with OP, my doctor totally sold the evil bastard to me. If it sounds to good to be true, it probably is to good to be true

A "Godsend" is how the FP doctor described the Mirena that she talked me into.
I am stunned that doctors seem utterly oblivious to the problems that so many women have.
Mine comes out today, with or without help from a doctor.

And pmsl at OP's "DH will have a vasectomy.... Lucky I don't take him to the vet to have it done" same.

loopy hope all well now. Poor thing.

I just wanted to join in and commiserate with what an actual BASTARD the Mirena is.

I had mine in for just over ayear, after the Dr dismissing all my side effects as unrealted to the Mirena:

Hair growth on jawline, neck and abdomen.
Unexplained weight gain/near on impossible to lose it without starvation.
Greasy hair
Outbreak of acne on my back and temples (have never had acne in my entire life before this)
Low mood and anger issues
Repeated bouts of BV and ridiculous increase in vaginal discharge.
Unsuprisingly, my sex drive and confidence levels plummeted into negative figures.

When it came to gettign the BASTARD removed, it had bloody 'migrated' and had to be removed via hysteroscopy, for which I was denied any kind of anaesthetic, so I went into shock and fainted during the procedure (had also gone into 'cervical shock' during the horrific insertion of the BASTARD)

One of the worst experiences of my life!

I had mine in for around a year too.

It was effective contraception as I was usually either crying or angry. I don't think DP wanted to be near me much. Not that I had any sex drive anyway. I kept with it though like an idiot.

I had it out because I couldn't sit down due to the pain which grew over the last month or two.

Around then was also the time that I started gaining weight, BASTARD.

BASTARD indeed.
Now I have to wait a week to have it removed.

Anyone got that vet's number?

I'm so pleased that I'm not the only one who's had BASTARD issues. The doctor made me feel like a right freak. 'But everyone else really loves their BASTARD,' she said chirpily. 'Fine, one of them can have mine then!' I returned, not really thinking through the ickiness of that image.

BASTARD made me bleed non stop for 2 months. Also, The BASTARD Rage.

I have to say, while we're on the subject, if I say; 'no, I cannot take any form of hormone based contraception,' this is not the perfect in for a healthcare professional to start pushing hormone based contraceptives at me as if I don't know my own body and how it reacts at all.

(I should have trusted my instincts and not have agreed to a BASTARD in the first place. But I was informed reliably and convincingly that the hormones don't leave the womb at all, and do not enter the bloodstream. My BASTARD turned out to be a BASTARD liar then.)

and suddenly my hysterectomy at 32 doesn't seem so bad

I've had a mirena coil for about 18 months now and haven't had any problems until I had my first migraine about a month ago. I've had 2 since. Is this something the coil could cause or am I blaming the coil for no reason?

The Combined pill can DEFINITELY give you migraine burn - I had a one off migraine episode which meant I forgot the names of my colleagues, had to have the word 'migraine' in front of me to be able to say it, and caused me to have the entire centre of my vision burnt out like a sunspot for two hours not to mention the actual head pain and sickness. The GP immediately told me the verbal blanks were a 'contraindication' for compbined pill and stopped it there and then.

I have to say that Mirena has changed my life. I did not realise how much period pain and PMS ruled my life before having it. I have no periods now and no PMS. Before I would be found lying under desks curled up in agony and have to be sent to a dark room with the pain. I thought that was normal......

God!!! Thanks you all.
My Gp has been pushing this BASTARD too, she told me to get implanon fitted or even the injection..

My mini pill is the best thing ever!!! Light period, no pain, no side effects. Just have to remember to eat it which ain't hard...would rather give my brain a memory test than my foof the JCB treatment.

I am very aware that the Nhs is trying to stop doling out the mini pill due to costs...

Reading this thread does make me believe that contraception and choices would have been far more advanced if men got pregnant...

I got so fed up ity the BASTARD I pulled it out myself. The nurse at the clinic wasn't even surprised when I told her.

I'm on my second 'bastard', lol. I have to be honest, they've been no trouble at all for me, but I have a couple of friends who've had no end of bother with them. I think it's just one of those 'different strokes for different folks' things, though it's a problem if the medical profession are ramming them down women's throats (figuratively speaking, natch).

My GP surgery won't remove the bastards, talk about conspiracy. You have to brave the jungle of the GUM clinic and play at being 15 again whilst listening to chardonnay telling COurtney-lee about the green spots on her foof since shagging Darren in the toilets of the snap disco. rude?

On the plus side I did actually like mine.

If mirina is the bastard, the implant is the cunt. That one made me sectionable.

Or ramming them UP the FOOF, mrspremise

I had the BASTARD fitted after the birth of dc3. Only it wasn't interesting enough to stay in my uterus so it went for a wander. Numerous scans and x rays found it heading towards my ribcage!! Keyhole surgery under a general anaesthetic was needed to remove it. Not what I needed with 3 dc under 5 at the time! Each time I go to the gp for a pill check they ask if I've considered having a BASTARD fitted. I just laugh and suggest they read my notes!!

Can someone tell me why GPs are so bloody obsessed with hormonal contraception of all kinds?

Probably because we are trying to help patients avoid unwanted pregnancies .

I think some of the posters on this thread have forgotten what life was like for women before the invention of hormonal contraception (and still is for women who don't have access to it). The pill gave women control over their fertility for the first time. It transformed lives; allowed women to fulfil their ambitions in higher education and the workplace and gave us control over their bodies. And hormonal methods have successfully treated hundreds of thousands of women with heavy, painful periods or menopausal flooding. A generation ago, thousands of women a year had to go through major surgery to have a hysterectomy because that was the only way to prevent menopausal flooding. Now, only a tiny percentage of women need an operation - the Mirena cures most of them.

So I'm sorry that the Mirena doesn't suit everyone but that's life. For many more people, it's a fantastic product. That's why GPs recommend it - because we have seen it transform lives. It's not some conspiracy: it's good patient care.

Anyone so how do you explain the fact that so many GP's completely dismiss the side effects as being unrelated to the Mirena?

There is a lot of denial amongst GP's about how serious these problems can be and the effect they ahve on women. Refusing to remove them before a set time period is also taking away that 'control' you mention.

I have just booked to have my 3rd mirena fitted at the end of the month. I can't wait. I only experience problems as it wears out. I have had pms from hell for the last 2 months and spots. Not had a spot, well, since just before I had it changed last time. And I have had to buy STs for the first time in 9yrs.
Like all forms of contraception they are not a one size fits all. I never got on with the pill or mini pill. I used a cap, but they are messy and they are not good for spontaneity. Having suffered long heavy periods, endometriosis with debilitating pain and chronic anaemia I can put up with minor side effects. However if I had light painfree periods and was otherwise healthy maybe the side effects would be less tolerable.

I know somebody who got pregnant with a BASTARD in situ too. It was not a viable pregnancy and was very, very upsetting. The BASTARD is good at preventing viable pregnancy but less impressive with ectopics and pregnancy of unknown location.

I used the mini pill for 9 years v happily. Conceived only when I wanted to, breast fed for an age AND all that despite the fact that I now suspect I should have really been on a double dose as am overweight......

anyone you make a good point about the benefits of hormonal contraception.
But I do think that the negatives are played down by some doctors.
I can see why it makes sense to promote Mirena in order to save the expense of treatment/ surgery for dysmenorrhea, but it clearly doesn't suit lots of women, and the side effects are being dismissed as not possible or purely anecdotal.

Lol well that's me decided against the Mirena , I had a sneaking suspicion it was actually a bastard

I'm on my second but I only had the first one for two years because it moved BASTARD. I now wish I hadn't bothered. I'm tired and grouchy after a three week period but I have fibroids too. I'm hoping to have the BASTARD removed when I have an endometrial ablation.

Really sorry so many of you had bad experiences on the BASTARD, but some of these posts made me chuckle, I can really feel the anger in your posts. I called mine MIRACLE.