BASTARD Mirena

[DancesWithSockPuppets]

AIBU to suggest that the people behind the Mirena coil change its name to "BASTARD Mirena"; and that GPs are required to use its full name (or "BASTARD" for short) when hard-selling it to their innocent, trusting patients?

For example: "Oh yes, I've never encountered anyone who didn't get on with the BASTARD Mirena. In fact, research has shown that women who opt for the BASTARD are nicer, happier, 93% more likely to win the lottery and can shit cakes."

Finally, AIBU to think that GPs should need a license to hard-sell the BASTARD Mirena, and in order to GET a license they must be fitted with a Mirena themselves for at least a week. Up the arse. Sideways.

'Can someone tell me why GPs are so bloody obsessed with hormonal contraception of all kinds? Almost every GP I've ever had tries to put me on the pill/ Mirena/ some alien Klingon type device. What is up with that - are they on commission from GSK or what??'

I thought it was just the fools in my GPs, even more so in my case as I can't conceive, not really much point is there? (I call them fools as the two that always comment/offer know my medical history/ problems)

They're bastards too. . .

Hope you fell better soon.

Ps if you can't get DH to a vet a friend assures me that two bricks can de used in a DIY fashion. . . .

Oh bugger I am about to have one of the BASTARD things. It's hopefully to control the BASTARDING EVIL bleeding I get due to fibroids. Can't be any worse than that surely...

Sorry Lotta, wasn't having a go! Just still in rant mode.

BASTARD left me.

DH has had the snip so problem solved

'No no no it can't be the hormones affecting your moods as they are localized and it cant cause weight gain or facial hair as again its localized!'
Said by locum at my surgery so off I went and suffered a few more months untill it got to the point I wanted to hurt myself!
Never again will the BASTARD grace my womb, no need really now as dh has been snipped and we are just waiting for confirmation that it has worked.

Can I remind everyone - it's not bastard, it's BASTARD. Upper case very important for conveying the full extent of the BASTARDness.

And thanks for the tip Smells. I've also found half-a-dozen or so kitchen implements that look like they could do the trick nicely. Weighing up the merits of pizza-cutter vs Le Creuset cast-iron griddle.

I had a bastard for 5 years, caused me bastard painful ovarian cysts. DH promised to get the snip but he hasn't followed through on it (the bastard).

Sorry, I mean BASTARD

I love my BASTARD. ( Sorry)

I was one of the first to have a BASTARD Mirena. 6 months of misery and pleading for it to be removed. Which they weren't keen to do because they are expensive you know!!!

:o PMSL at whole thread!

My sister used to have a BASTARD and made me swear to stay the hell away from them as she had terrible side effects.

Have you considered implanon Dances? Works like a charm for me...

My GP must be getting commission for every BASTARD he rams up a fanjo.

Apparently it is the only thing which will sort out my heavy periods. 20 mins sales pitch I got. Not been back since. I can't face another BASTARD lecture. I suffer in silence instead.

'''No no no it can't be the hormones affecting your moods as they are localized and it cant cause weight gain or facial hair as again its localized!''

Does that mean the lady garden becomes the forest of doom.

BASTARD causes mood swings, weight gain and facial hair. Localised hormones indeed. Because obviously they know when they get into your bloodstream that they have to stay in the right place

Sounds like my exGP who needs to read a few books

Had my BASTARD removed a few days ago after 6 months of yucky bleeding and horrendous bloating and trumping (nice). Not sure if it was designed to prevent pregnancy by rendering me physically repulsive but it certainly worked that way.

And why was it such a faff to get my GP to do it? Why do I need to make an extra appointment to 'talk it through' with them for the 50th time, JUST TAKE THE DAMN THING OUT. Gaaaaaaaah.

Dolly yes that's it! you feel so shite sex is the last thing on your mind. BASTARD,BASTARD,BASTARD!

I've been thinking about getting a coil (not the BASTARD one, as I don't do hormonal contraceptives) but since I'm in the US, it's going to cost around three hundred dollars and my insurance does not cover contraceptives.
So if I want it, I will have to save up for six months or so in order to get it. Imagine doing that and then not getting on with the damned thing!

Can I join the BASTARD club? I had one for about 6 weeks that I had put in at a hospital after an op.

Nothing but trouble. BASTARD gave me an infection that took 3 lots (different types) of antiBs to shift. The Dr refused to take the BASTARD out because he didn't fit it. Had to go to a sexual health clinic & PAY to have the BASTARD out.

Pain at one time was so bad (with BASTARD insitu) that I almost dropped dd2 (6mths) while lifting her into her cot! I just got a bad stabbing pain out of the blue! I put her in her cot & curled up on the floor & cried!

BASTARD also caused weight gain (annoying as lost a lot through breastfeeding), bloating, mood swings of titanic proportions, constant cramp like pains, constant bleeding, loss of libido (for dh too, as he could feel the strings) spots, and weirdly an almost constant hunger (that I staved off with fruit/water)

Best thing I ever did was to get rid of that BASTARD. And I would NOT recommend it to anyone.

BASTARDBASTARDBASTARDBASTARD

Localised hormones indeed

Yeah, so localised that the hormones have been found in breastmilk!

I really really Love Mine.
At least it hasn't damaged your sense of humour.

I was talked into one after my copper coil fell out, on the grounds that I would have no periods. I bled for 6 weeks solid (which at the checkup the Dr admitted wasn't unusual) then went back to having normal periods again.

I believe the Drs are brainwashed into fitting them by the drugs company reps.

My friend loved her first, had it in for 5 yrs. Once it was changed, she had nothing but trouble.

Another friend took hers out after it slipped out of place.

I had hideous bleeding and period pain - Mirena was a miracle cure.

But it made my hair fall out, that was a Bastard.

It just gradually got thinner and thinner, took about 18months to get really obvious (and about 2 years to thicken up again after the Bastard was removed). I think that side effect is way down at the bottom of the list somewhere. Shame though, great for awful periods.