BASTARD Mirena

[DancesWithSockPuppets]

AIBU to suggest that the people behind the Mirena coil change its name to "BASTARD Mirena"; and that GPs are required to use its full name (or "BASTARD" for short) when hard-selling it to their innocent, trusting patients?

For example: "Oh yes, I've never encountered anyone who didn't get on with the BASTARD Mirena. In fact, research has shown that women who opt for the BASTARD are nicer, happier, 93% more likely to win the lottery and can shit cakes."

Finally, AIBU to think that GPs should need a license to hard-sell the BASTARD Mirena, and in order to GET a license they must be fitted with a Mirena themselves for at least a week. Up the arse. Sideways.

I had it fitted 8 weeks ago and removed one week ago! Vile thing. Thought I had PND but the anxiety has minimised, the temper has eased and the bleeding has stopped. Never again!

It does seem to be a case of extremes. Maybe that's why GPs all give it such glowing reports - the women who do well on it report back on how great it is, and the women who don't do so well are stuck at home, flat on their backs, gushing blood and raving about a plate that didn't get washed properly.

YANBU. And they're not reliable anyway. Mine was perfectly positioned, and I still ended up pregnant!

Just had my Mirena removed after a year - Yippeeeeee
Told I would never have a period again and it was the answer to all my problems, including World Peace and the Syrian conflict. Did the doctor not hear me when I said "Synthetic hormones don't tend to agree with me, I get very bad PMS, The Pill just makes me depressed"
Reality - 1st 6 months of constant bleeding, side affects (common apparently if you read the blurb) head splitting head aches, back ache, chronic fatigue (lay me out and wipe the floor with me, crawl into work on my hands & knees tiredness, swollen breasts, stomach the size of China, Mood Swings. 2nd 6 months period every 3 weeks (see all other side effects above).

As my doc removed it she said "That's impossible, the side affects are all in your head" and "You shouldn't have bleeding, that's ridiculous" Silent cheer as it came out dripping with the red stuff.

I really think A. The doctors are on commission per implant B. the same firm that supplies the Mirena sells Panty Liners

Seriously, I agree it is fantastic for all the women it works for. But why are those of us for whom it does not work for being so routinely ignored? One size does not fit all.

I seem to be the only person who loved her mirena. 4 months of bleeding pretty much constantly, but that was preferable to the periods I was getting. And I seem to be the only person who's drs and nurses were completely open about all the bad side effects, etc.

Sadly the mirena did not love me. It came out of its own accord last week .

Mines okay so far, spotted for a week, then bled properly for a week, now nothing for the last week. I've put on a little weight but that's DS2's fault for dropping feeds

But, hey, its early days....

I'm planning on having one fitted after I give birth (in the next week or two... eep!) even though I had a horrendous time with it when I had one previously.

I hadn't had any babies when I had it the first time, and I think my uterus was too small. Hopefully, now I'm all stretched and saggy it will fit better. Maybe.

It's a good thing you don't have the BASTARD anymore, or your inner Hannibal might be tempted to do the operation on your OH yourself.

Not sure how a Mrs Hannibal Lecter would feel, though. Assuming she'd not be lobotomised. Embarrassed? Grossed out? Cut in pieces? Exquisitely fed? That's a whole new movie waiting to be made.

What an eye opener this forum has been!

Today's the day I get my BASTARD removed and I bloody well can't wait! After 6 months of erratic periods, erratic moods, shooting pains in groin, shitty brown smelly discharge and a severe lack of action in the nookie department, it's time to call it a day and part company with the BASTARD.
I'll be phoning the vet and getting DH booked in to be fixed after he suggested I have a hysterectomy as a solution to our contraception dilemma. Not one of his best ideas and maybe my stunned reaction was a bit OTT but WTF!?!!

Well you BASTARD, I'd like to say it has been a pleasure but you've caused me 6 months of misery so now it's time to go.

So long and thanks for all the fish!

Aw, I like my BASTARD - no bleeding, no weight gain, no trouble. Insertion was mildly uncomfortable - tbh, I've hurt myself worse walking into tables.

I didn't particularly mind my implanon, but depo can fuck right the fuck off. Hateful, hateful dickbadger of a contraception. Turned me into the kind of person you'd cross the street to avoid - moods that didn't just swing, but would oscillate wildly per shitting second, huge and rapid weight gain and a face like yesterday's pizza. And you can't even have it removed, just got to ride it out.

Just thought I'd share my tale of woe - I had mine fitted in March 2013. Apparently it was going to solve everything - no more periods, as hood as being sterilised etc since then I've had brown spotting, pretty constantly, now random red spotting - that's freaking me out tbh. The mother of all headaches that just won't shift for days, weight gain, sore boobs, abdominal pain, and recently felt like my fanjo was in vice like grip. Saw GP, told me to perserve, that was Friday last week. Thought about it over the weekend, fanjo pain worse, went again today, saw different GP, he removed it straight away and he said I also seem to have a nasty infection so now I'm on strong antibiotics as well. But at least my bastard is out :).

My Bastard was coming to the end of it's life.

Since having the bastard I've gained 2 1/2 stone but aside from that no other adverse side effects. The weight has been getting me down though its been very hard if near impossible to shift. I put that down to being in my 40's until reading others here also having experience of weight gain.

Had the bastard out about an hour and a half ago. I felt nothing having it removed.

All seemed fine until I got this wet feeling on the drive home.
Sorry for TMI but I am now bleeding like my worst period ever with massive clots.

FFS how can that be??

How bizarre. I am so sorry for all of you who have had such awful problems, but I have had two Mirenas since BabyBearleigh was born, and have had no problems at all. I love having no periods and easily keep to a good weight.

Eleanor, that sounds a bit worrying.
If you're changing more than one sanitary towel an hour, I'd go and get checked over at a&e

Elenor I think heavy bleeding can happen after having it removed. I had my BASTARD removed just under a fortnight ago (hooray - no more boobs feeling like painful boulders or abdominal pain) and had a pretty heavy period with clotting for about 5 to 6 days but it has stopped now and the nasty BASTARD side effects seems to be passing to.

Thanks ladies the bleeding stopped after a few hours.

Positives so far..
My boobs and stomach have changed shape already, I'm not so bloated and pregnant looking.
My libido is returning!

Will report back on other changes :)

What a great thread. This morning I was adamant I had come to the end of the line with mine ( two over the past 8 ish years) after a hideous kidney/UTI some mind bending infection. After seeing the FPN she made me think I was a lunatic and all the reasons I mentioned. Recent UTI, huge lumps of flesh, green discharge, depression, cysts on breasts etc were utter rubbish and not worth worrying about. I think my body has had enough and needs a rest ( I may go back to it as 8 yrs without periods was bliss) I'm a rational person so why do they not accept my concerns and respect your wishes to have it removed. Instead she just kept going on about how it would be 6mths before me and my husband could have sex without a condom and I wouldn't want to get pregnant. After reading this post I definitely keeping my appointment Monday

I had one for a year and everything was rosy. Then it decided to ruin my life!! So much hate for these things it turned me crazy. I can remember sitting up til 3am googling how to get it out and then waking up OH at the time and begging him to remove it. It really is nasty.

Hi just wondering if anyone has had problems with the copper coil. I have had it fitted for over a year at first seemed to be going well periods fine but last few minths(after a year of being fitted) my periods started coming a week early then would be 10 days late but we're all normal length. The last couple I have come on when I'm due on but then I don't stop I would be bleeding for about 3 weeks then docs would give me a pill to stop the bleeding which works but then I stop the pill come back on had a normal period fine... I had a scan to see if in place they said all come back fine and had blood test as they said I have a couple little cysts on my ovaries but blood test show that was fine so again I've come on and it's been over 3 weeks and still bleeding have been given these pills again but a few differnt docs have said it shouldn't be the coil as was fitted over a year ago and when I look on Google says the same so has anyone else had this and its turned out to be the coil or something else TIA xx