BASTARD Mirena

[DancesWithSockPuppets]

AIBU to suggest that the people behind the Mirena coil change its name to "BASTARD Mirena"; and that GPs are required to use its full name (or "BASTARD" for short) when hard-selling it to their innocent, trusting patients?

For example: "Oh yes, I've never encountered anyone who didn't get on with the BASTARD Mirena. In fact, research has shown that women who opt for the BASTARD are nicer, happier, 93% more likely to win the lottery and can shit cakes."

Finally, AIBU to think that GPs should need a license to hard-sell the BASTARD Mirena, and in order to GET a license they must be fitted with a Mirena themselves for at least a week. Up the arse. Sideways.

[Madsometimes]

I'm having a BASTARD fitted next week, and this thread is making me wobble. Problem is that I don't think that I can cope with losing 200 ml of menstrual fluid every 23 days long term, because I'm already anaemic. I don't think that it is easy to get an ablation without first giving the BASTARD a chance. If the BASTARD pisses me off, it's out on its ear.

[mummytowillow]

I've had mine for nearly two years and yes it is a BASTARD!

They can't find the strings to take mine out so I've got to go to a Gynae on 23/8 for them to have a firtile and get it out!

The only thing I like about it is the lack of periods, however the cons outweigh that!

I've got spots, greasy skin, mood swings, problems with sex life can't orgasm !

My biggest concern is my hair, I've always had lovely, glossy thick hair, not anymore, it comes out in handfuls and has really thinned? I've read online alot of people have complained about this, so I've made the decision to have it out?

I've had a scan and its still there, but the strings have gone missing, has anyone else experienced this and how will they get it out?

I'm 43 and got a BMI of 30, do you think they will let me take the pill? I didn't have it put in for contraception but for painful, heavy periods?

[Doingthedo]

I've had one for 4 years, no periods for 3 1/2, I LOVE my BASTARD!!!

[Baskets45]

A GP friend did tell me she usually recommends women give it a good 6 months to settle down after insertion, that a lot of side effects do settle after this time. I'd say, though, 6 months is a BASTARDLY long time for some women if they are having severe side effects. Jury still out for me, but I think I'll have to decline politely/ rather pointedly, depending on weather/time of month/ whether I've had my fix of chocolate before appt/whether GP tries the hard sell.

[Baskets45]

mummy2willow, it's quite common for threads ot go awol, I understand. They'll probably have a rummage about first. Not pleasant, i know, but no worse than any vaginal exam. If it's very uncomfortable you could ask for Entonox. They should offer anaesthetic if needing to rummage more, ahem, James Herriot style. Sorry. Not sure about minipill as it is less effective if you are over a certain weight.

I've done very well, for heavy periods,fora few years now on medication - a combination of Ponstan and tranexemic acid. I think these days, in guidelines, MirenaBastard is recommended as first step, meds as 2nd, so if you didn't get on with Bastard then you should get offered meds, other thing being equal. If you do need GA for retrieval of coil, it's very quick, day case stuff.

Please do emphasise to 'them' how bad things are with the heavy periods. I think some medics do underestimate the effect of heavy bleeding on daily life, but sometimes I think we patients don't always speak up either. i'm certainly in latter category, had dreadful periods for years, kept thinking it would get better, eventually mentioned it to GP as afterthought when along for something else (a 'door handle moment', i think it's called). He was horrified to find how bad it all was. In your case, once coil is out, they might suggest you see how things are when normal period returns, before starting another treatment. Not sure how I'd feel about that, probably i'd push to ahve a script for meds just in case.

[SilveryMoon]

I had one fitted 7 months ago, tis fab!
I had very heavy, painful periods, would use a super tampon and a towel and would have to change both every 2 hours if I wanted to contain bleed to my pants (sorry TMI)
My gp had been recommending the coil for ages but I was sure I didn't want to go through the discomfort of having it inserted.
Anyway, after I completely bled through my trousers at work (so embarrassing. The dep headteacher still asks me if everything is ok if she sees me rushing towards the bathrooms) I decided to go through with it as gp said it would stop the bleeding.
Hasn't completely, and I have to wear a pantyliner everyday as bleeding is really random, but wouldn't be without it now.

[smokinaces]

I have to admit, I love mine. It's been fourteen months and with a combination of losing weight and coming off my antids with my mirena I feel fab. Wouldnt change it. And doubt i could - was a bastard to fit, even the doctor with many years of experience said mine was the hardest fitting ever. Good old clamped shut cervix.

[CoteDAzur]

If only the BASTARD's BASTARDly effects lasted 6 months! I left my BASTARD after over a YEAR, and I was still leaking either blood or gore every single day, with the accompanying BASTARDLY man arse smell

Periods are not fun but at least you know more or less when they will come, and after a few days, they STOP.

[wigglybeezer]

I keep changing my mind about mine, I have definitely had side effects; had my first one out after two days because it made my milk dry up, they have only tested it on women breast feeding tiny babies, not one year olds as I was.

Chin spots have been worse and I was concerned about mood problems for a while but then one of the reasons I chose it was because of awful PMT and it seemed to give me constant mild mood problems instead of violent PMT like I had before...

Things have definitely improved as it has got to the five year mark and I must admit to being a little nervous about getting a fresh one but not having to worry about heavy periods is fab.

I booked an appointment for a sterilisation but cancelled as I decided to try diet exercise and supplements consistently for my mood issues first and had good results.

[carocaro]

Three cheers for the Mirena! HIP HIP HOORAY! Sorry OP.

I've had one for 18 months and it has changed my life, I seriously mean that. I had hideous heavy painfull flood central periods that would render me house bound pale and sick for 5-6 days a month, I would ruin clothes, sheets, mattresses with it all.

Since I had it fitted, no periods, nothing, no pain, a tiny bit of spotting. I no longer even think about periods.

Putting it in was like a mini contraction, and I have a wonky womb, so it took the GP a while. I also started a less crappy food diet and more exercise around the same time which has helped, B vitamins and magnesium.

[wigglybeezer]

B vits and magnesium here too.

[stealthpenguin]

I've had mine fitted and it's been great, but thankfully it was the most humiliating and embarrassing experience of my life, so I don't even remember it hurting at all.

I went to the doctor and told him about my suicide attempt. He was boorish, unreasonable and made me cry. He was generally just a twat. THe week after, I go to get my coil fitted - same bloke. He decided that the best time to make small talk was halfway up my vagina, when he went "So, how's the depression going?". I nearly punched him.

[olivestree]

50Shades I say stay THE HELL away from Implanon. It is Mirena's BASTARD cousin and made my hair fall out really really badly. And once it was in no one was trained to take it out. Complete nightmare and my once lovely thick hair has never fully recovered. :( IMPLANON IS THE DEVIL!

[NormaStanleyFletcher]

I got PG with the BASTARD. DD is nearly 6.

(Oh and because I was having no periods I didn't find out until 17 weeks in)

[dublindee]

Oh dear.... I've been thinking if having the BASTARD Mirena and am visiting the FPC on Thursday to discuss as DS3 is 16 weeks and I need to sort something.

Fell pregnant with DS1 on the pill.
DS2 took us literally one attempt after deciding we wanted another.
DS3 was a total shock - using condoms.

I am very overweight so don't want pill, don't like condoms (and anyway neither of these work - CLEARLY!!) :o

My periods are woeful and I've been told the Mirena is the way to go ... Now I'm not so sure ....

[HearMyRoar]

I love the bastard! I am on my second. I had the first for 4 years then removed it to concieve. Couldn't wait to have one put back in again after dd was born. So conveniant and the only side effect i have is no periods. whoop!

[Bintheredunthat]

I feel I have to defend the poor Bastard. I've had a Mirena for 12 years (different ones of course) and I've loved it, best contraception I've ever used and I've tried the lot. (she reminisces about grappling with a slippery cap after one too many wines, or the old style IUD when I bled for a year) the pill made me put on weight, depressed and nauseous once I was in my 30s, but was great in my twenties when my hormonal make up must have been different.

I always felt the little bit of progestegen helped balance me out, lost weight, mood lifted etc. but obviously everyone's hormonal make up is different and changes over the years. I had my first Mirena at 38 so maybe it suits older ladies hormones better if you see what I mean.

I sailed through the menopause with it in place, no heavy periods which so many of my friends seem to experience and make their lives a misery.
My sister had one put in to stop the 'flooding' every month and it's changed her life.
I highly recommend it, it's worth a go, if it doesn't suit you can have it taken out easily, well at least a LOT easier than having it put in.

[lowfatiscrap12]

for those of you who got pregnant on Mirena, had it fallen out? Could you still feel the strings?
(scared- very happy Mirena user here, but I've fallen pregnant on the pill, don't want to fall pregnant with Mirena in)

[mrs2cats]

I love my BASTARD. I've had it for 4 years and it has changed my life. I have put on a little bit of weight but I feel a lot happier since having it. I feel really sorry for those who have had a terrible time with it. It sounds that, if it doesn't suit you, the side effects are awful.

Mind you, I actually paid for a private gynaecologist consultation before having it put in. I had terrible periods that would last 2-3 weeks, constantly tired, terrible PMT. Felt absolutely rotten. GP kept ignoring me for months (despite the fact that I also had a previous history of endometriosis), saying it was probably all part of my PND. In the end I got fed up and I paid for a gynaecologist who subsequently recommended the BASTARD.

Very strangely, as soon as I mentioned that I'd had it done by a gynaecologist, my GP got very snotty with me saying I should have gone to him etc etc . Still, DH says it's the best money we've ever spent 'cos he can see such a difference in me.

[whojamaflip]

Quick question for those who have had theirs removed - how do they do it? I understand that its put in post-birth or when you are on a period as the cervix is softer but if you haven't had a period in 3 years then how or when do they take it out?

Dh had the snip in April, just waiting for his tests to come back neg for swimmers then I am having the BASTARD out - had enough of mood swings, weight I can't shift, spots and thin hair - oh and feeling exhausted all the time with no get up and go - gp tried to tell me I was depressed and tested me for thyroid function . I know its the BASTARD and I want it out!

[coffeeinbed]

They can take it out anytime.
Didn't feel a thing.

[ClaraDeLaNoche]

I love my BASTARD so much that I hunted down its mother and father and arranged a marriage so that BASTARD's parentage is no longer an issue and I can refer to him as THINGOFWONDERANDJOY

[Shouldacouldawoulda]

Mine was fab., I have had 2 over the last 8 years, a bit of spotting at the beginning but other than that I got on really well with it.

Until the other night. :(
Here

Now I'm waiting for an ultrasound scan to find it (if it is still there, who knows?) and the possibility of surgery to remove it if it is embedded. So I have gone right off the BASTARD.

[MandaMilner]

This cracked me up ladies, you should go on stage. Sorry I know its a serious matter and I only came on here today to post a query (nearly a year later) about the BASTARD. Havent really found it to be much of a BASTARD, but if it is responsible for the dead rat smell the morning after a night of naughties, then I will be in agreeance, its a BASTARD. I had always put my weight gain to the pack of party rings biscuits I ate every day?