BASTARD Mirena

[DancesWithSockPuppets]

AIBU to suggest that the people behind the Mirena coil change its name to "BASTARD Mirena"; and that GPs are required to use its full name (or "BASTARD" for short) when hard-selling it to their innocent, trusting patients?

For example: "Oh yes, I've never encountered anyone who didn't get on with the BASTARD Mirena. In fact, research has shown that women who opt for the BASTARD are nicer, happier, 93% more likely to win the lottery and can shit cakes."

Finally, AIBU to think that GPs should need a license to hard-sell the BASTARD Mirena, and in order to GET a license they must be fitted with a Mirena themselves for at least a week. Up the arse. Sideways.

[SlipperyNipple]

A copper coil does the job.

[weblette]

No Mirena positives here, took forever to settle down, after 2 years bastard thing fell out so had to have industrial antibiotics. Not fun.

[SilverSixpence]

This thread is brilliant I will definitely think twice before recommending a mirena in future! The reason GPs and family planning push Mirena and implants is that they are told to recommend 'long acting Reversible contraceptives' as they are the most cost effective for the beleaguered NHS.

[hettiebull]

Fascinating, silversixpence.
Always wondered why my GP was keen to push a BASTARD on me, I was only 32 with just 2 kids. I felt like it was more a criticism of me planning another child but that makes sense.
Always thought I might try a BASTARD once I had shut up shop but not so sure now!

[BulletProofMum]

Ingot pregnant on the bastard. Of course because ihad the bastard in no one suspected that my severe abdominal,pain was an ectopic pregnancy until it ruptured

[ToothbrushThief]

I got pregnant on the BASTARD
Another one fell into cervix and embedded in the wall (painful)
Before I got pregnant I suffered with persistent bleeding

I LOVE the menopause

[CouthyMow]

I had a BASTARD for 15 months. 15 months of BASTARDING hell, that turned ME into a BASTARD, a fat, moody, shouty, teary, angry, bleeding all the time, can't even SIT DOWN because the BASTARD Mirena is digging into my cervix, boobs like fucking red hot cement BASTARD.

All due to the BASTARD Mirena.

It all stopped when I fell pregnant with it in though...

BASTARD THING.

I had the same thing with the pill and implanon though.

Hormonal contraception is all much of a BASTARDNESS to me.

I'm seeing the Gynae consultant in August to be sterilised!

Had enough of BASTARDS.

[BulletProofMum]

And the bastard had given me a huge cyst on my ovary.

Still, if it hadn't been for the ectopic, i wouldn't have my lovely DD now. An accident was inevitable having been told I was unlikely to conceive again.

I thank the bastard after all

[BulletProofMum]

Wow - is that three of us? Their statistics tics have it at about 1 /10000 and claim safer than tying tubes.

[SardineQueen]

Oh yes
I had a big cyst on my ovary as well. When I had to go for the scan to check it was where it should be, after the strings went awol.
For all i know, I often have big cysts on my ovaries.
But still. Could've been the BASTARD.

[ToothbrushThief]

I was told that getting pregnant on the BASTARD was rarer than ...well a man that cleans my toilet rare thing

[FrillyMilly]

3 out of 100! I dont like those odds.

[MsOnatopp]

Mine fell out. I have no idea how long it had been dislodged for but it was giving me stabbing pains for three weeks. The doc thinks from when it was entering the cervix. When she pulled it out she said that it was right at the bottom of my cervix. Horrible thing. My depression is worse and now not shifting. Horrible horrible thing.

[BasilDonna]

Ovarien cyst is why BASTARD and I parted as well.

[BasilDonna]

It didn't leave because of my bad spelling.

[rachelfruitloop]

Oh no, ovarian cysts run in my family... Ectopic pregnancies... Snip or no snip, I think I'd better find out when the BASTARD removing gp is back from maternity leave and get this BASTARD out - stat!

[MsOnatopp]

That was after two years of it in and it pull away some flesh when it was in my cervix which fell out once after I wiped myself after the toilet

[Kayano]

Pills or die here

[WhitesandsofLuskentyre]

BASTARDing thing - I ended up becoming polycystic, just to add to the 10lb weight gain, the chin spots, the whole 'going off sex so BASTARD XH went off with some plastic-titted bitch from the gym' thing. Crappest contraception known to woman (and I've used a diaphragm ).

I wish I'd known the pure joy of a copper coil years ago.

[MsVelvet]

Totally agree, i had it and it made me fat, moody and and miserable and then it fell out of me after 2yrs!!!

[Baffledandbewildered]

My Bastard was well.....a complete bastard for the six five months !!! Its great now ,but i came close to killing people especially the bastard doctor who recommended it. Im still fat from the weight i put on after it was fitted a year ago :(

[sensuallettuce]

I love love love my bastard, although do wonder if it s responsible for facial hair

[geekonthehill]

Felt bloody awful on it. Thought I had lost my mind, was bullied into it by gp in a weak moment a few months post birth. Had already sunk into PND so not quite myself. DS was IVF so chance of another was v slim but I had lost reasonable thought.
Gah the thrush, the smell, the weight gain, the brain fug, the 8 week bleed.
Knew something was wrong when DS was 18 months and I still didn't feel like me.
BASTARD thing.
Feel like the old me now, just gotta shift the weight!

[5dcsinneedofacleaner]

I have had mine for about 3 months now, it didnt hurt being put in but i have had 5 dcs so im guessing there wasnt a huge amount of stretching needed
i spotted for about 4 weeks afterwards but then it stopped and i havent had any spotting or bleeding ever since so for 8 weeks. Not sure if this is normal or not im hoping it is these stories of pregnancy with it have worried me i got pregnant on my obsessivly perfectly taken mini pill so i opted for the coil as i thought it was more effective.
I posted not long ago that i was having mood swings but recentlt yhat has calmed down and at the moment i have no complaints i dont even know its there (its is i checked )

[WhereYouLeftIt]

5dcs, sounds normal to me - I spotted for about a month, and since then most months no bleeding at all.