BASTARD Mirena

[DancesWithSockPuppets]

AIBU to suggest that the people behind the Mirena coil change its name to "BASTARD Mirena"; and that GPs are required to use its full name (or "BASTARD" for short) when hard-selling it to their innocent, trusting patients?

For example: "Oh yes, I've never encountered anyone who didn't get on with the BASTARD Mirena. In fact, research has shown that women who opt for the BASTARD are nicer, happier, 93% more likely to win the lottery and can shit cakes."

Finally, AIBU to think that GPs should need a license to hard-sell the BASTARD Mirena, and in order to GET a license they must be fitted with a Mirena themselves for at least a week. Up the arse. Sideways.

[CoteDAzur]

Lula - Oh yes, the BASTARD is GONE. After about a year of misery.

[MaryMungoAndMidgies]

Oh shit. My GP is hard selling the BASTARD to me at the moment. I am slightly fat, menopausal and with the worst skin I've ever had. I have bad enough mood swings anyway due to having jolly old floods bleeding more or less non stop since February.



This doesn't sound like it'll be a BASTARDING solution. She also said there were very little side effects and it would improve my life no end. I've not had children, can you really feel the BASTARD in situ if you've not gone through childbirth?

There's a smell? I don't fancy explaining that to a new partner now I'm newly single.

I worry that it will make my bleeding worse, and not better. I'm on warfarin so the doctor said breezily that because I haven't had children there will be some trauma, bleeding and infection "but we can clear that up for you... it really will be better for you in the long run".

And I'm not ever so keen on panty liners. Shite.

[SardineQueen]

Mine was a bastard bastard
I had
That heavy feeling in your lower abdomen when you are due your period - ALL THE TIME
Recurrent low level thrush
Rampant anxiety (not definitely the BASTARD but I felt my mood lift gently and gradually after having it out)

In order to get it out I had to have a GENERAL ANAESTHETIC as the bastard strings had gone bastarding missing. They didn't mention that possibility in the bumph no sirreee. Apparently it is pretty common.

[SardineQueen]

Oh and I am really fat but again don't know whether that is down to the BASTARD or being greedy.

Time will tell on that one I guess

[DartsAgain]

I had a Mirena before having kids, and one afterwards, before having a copper coil.

I can confirm that having one inserted before ever having kids is WORSE than afterwards.

CominThroughTheWry Here are the official side effects the company will admit to. I'm sure further googling will show you others.

greeneyes1978 Your list has just made me realise that I have also had constant thrush and cystitis.

[rachelfruitloop]

Arghhhh! faxthatpam another BASTARD dc is what I'm really afraid of. Guess I'd better keep the BASTARD in until DH gets sorted out!

[ilovesprouts]

i love mine just have the odd spot.

[rachelfruitloop]

Did anyone else have a mild case of cervical shock while having the BASTARD put in? I nearly threw up and then almost fainted. And I know it was loose enough in there having just pushed out over eleven pounds of baby just 3 months earlier. I'm a bit scared to have the BASTARD removed now!

[WhereYouLeftIt]

I have had my BASTARD for nearly three years now and have got on pretty well with it. But, I have endometriosis; and although I bleed minimally with a period now, I do still get the cramps and vomiting for the first few hours. I really had hoped that no blood would equal no pain, but I had reckoned without my pre-existing lesions being 'activated' monthly .

But, I have never experienced the horrendous side-effects that so many here have experienced. The real problem, IMO, is less that there can be side-effects and more that so many people have been misled about them. It does seem strange that so many GPs have failed to educate themselves on this point.

And OP - "DH will have a vasectomy, and after this he's lucky I don't take him down the BASTARD vet to get it."
That did make me laugh out loud!

[sugarice]

Cote I was too embarrassed to mention the smell glad it's not just me!

[shergar]

I love mine. It's revolutionised my life. No more horrendo haemorrhages every month, and I think it may have cured my endometriosis. On my second one now, and intend to keep having them until I'm menopausal.

[MaryMungoAndMidgies]

Thank you for the link Darts, I've had a good read through. I think my GP's pants are on fire.

She also told me they like to leave it in situ for 6 - 8 months before even considering removal. The thought of bleeding like this for another 6 - 8 months fills me with dread.

I think I'll go to my friendly, lovely, helpful vet and get spayed. If I get any hairier (and don't keep things at bay with the epilator) I reckon I could pass as a fat Lab.

[sugarice]

shergar how has it cured your endo? not a pa question but I am curious, my mirena hasn't helped at all.

[KarlosKKrinkelbeim]

Yes I was told when I had my bastard fitted that there were no side effects. i should have smelt a rat then, I don't think the medication has been invented which has no bastarding side effects. After weight gain, spots and tits which every 6 weeks suddenly doubled in size and became too painful to touch, it did in fact settle down and now 12 months in I am OK with it. I spoke to a more senisble GP who told me it can take a while for the lining of your uterus to wear away; once that's heppened, you won't absorb such large amounts of hormone from it and it should settle down. But that can take a while.

[Baskets45]

Right, it looks like a BASTARD Mirena would eb worse for my liver disease than a few days a month of Tranexemic Acid - just as long as myBASTARD autoimmune probs don't develop in my kidneys too. Oh the joys of it all!! Thanks to whoever sent the link to Mirena site above - brain fog so bad I never thought to look for that, but it looks like I'm on the list of those for whom it's contraindicated. Yay!! I've never felt so happy to be 'banned'!

I had to pee after the first 10 or so posts of this thread, just got to loo in time (note to self: do your pelvic floor exercises, girl), but at least my seriously dry eyes were temporarily sorted. I'd love to send this thread to the 2 MALE GPs who have been so keen for me to have a Mirena. I know many of you ahve had good experiences with the BASTARD. For me, I don't think i can take the chance just yet. I am 51, every period frm hell ( flooding, pain etc) could eb my last, couldn't it??? I hope so ......

[Choufleur]

I had my BASTARD out after getting pregnant with it in - which was a bloody miracle as I was so vile, spotty and not at all interested in sex that I'm not sure how it happened.

I've got a copper coil now - bleed loads after it was fitted for a couple of weeks now absolutely fine, normal periods (well maybe slightly heaver than usual) 3-4 days.

[SardineQueen]

Oh yes that reminds me. I knew there were more side effects.

My mild incontinence when sneezing / coughing hard has gone since I had the BASTARD out.

And "Did anyone else have a mild case of cervical shock while having the BASTARD put in?". When the gynae was examining me to see if he could get it out without a general, he mentioned that it wasn't going to happen, as my cervix was tight shut. Which is apparently as it should be, given that I have had 2 CS and never gone into labour properly = no dilation ever. He said "they must have had a hell of a job getting it up there" Well YES they did. It was pretty grim.

WHY would they offer this to women who have not been in labour, yet they don't recommend it for women who have never given birth? HMMMMMMMMMMM? No explanation for that one either

[Libra]

I LOVE mine (sorry). Haven't had a period in 8 years. Love it. Love it. Love it.

[DartsAgain]

Libra You do know that a Mirena coil is only supposed to last 5 years? Hope you've had it changed in 8 years....

[DartsAgain]

The thing with Mirean versus copper coil is that they keep pushing the light (or no) periods of Mirena against the supposed heavy periods of a copper coil.

When I asked how heavy was "heavy", I was told 5-6 days and heavy flow in first 2-3.

As my natural cycle was an 8 day period, heavy on first 2-3, cycling every 32 days, I just laughed and said their idea of heavy would be a breeze.

This copper coil is meant to last 10 yearsplus, which should easily take me beyond menopause (I'm 43, menopause is generally early in my family).

[FrillyMilly]

I'm debating getting my BASTARD Mirena out and replacing it with a copper one. I only had it put in 3 months ago but have never felt so low in my whole life. Ive also been having 2-3 migraines a week. The woman (nurse?) at the FPC went through side effects but didn't mention depression. She did ask if I suffered migraines to which I told her yes but I don't think she believed me that they are migraines.

[BasilDonna]

I left my BASTARD.
Bye bye.

[blibblibs]

Well I've made an appointment with the GP to have the BASTARD taken out, enough is enough.

[Harecare]

Argh!!!!! Perhaps mumsnet isn't such a waste of time?
Mirena due to be fitted in 2 weeks.
Been a bit depressed during pregnancy and post birth (dd3 9 weeks).
I already have acne.
I don't want another pregnancy, but I don't want to be depressed and spotty.
Should I cancel the appointment???