Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

She had no right to call me disgusting and judge me!!!!!

245 replies

MsVelvet · 12/07/2012 10:08

Just went to drop my daughter at nursery, and as i was leaving another mum said to me, 'did you get my note about putting some money together for a leaving present next Friday' i said no as i hadn't but that i wouldn't be contributing as im a student nurse and skint, she then said to me, you're serious? So i said yes, she said it's only £2 or so, so i said to her that i did not have any money at all, she walked ahead down the stairs and said 'how disgusting' So i caught up with her and told her im practically living off payday loans (yes its stupid, another thread altogether!!)

I am also on the verge of eviction and i am trying to sort everything out, (so putting in money to a leaving gift is not top of my priority and i would rather get something from myself anyway if i could get enough cash together!) she just made me fel so fucking shitty and then said 'i wont put your daughters name on the card' to which i told her thats fine, don't!, i am struggling so hard, 1 year left till i qualify and i am just about able to get by, no treats no fun, no anything.

AIBU to think that she is bang out of order to fucking make me feel like this? bearing in mind, that not long ago she did a collection for £10 from the parents to help the nursery to buy a new tv to put on the wall, i didnt contribute to that either and when my mum went to the jubilee party as i was on placement and so my mum had to be there as all the kids had to be accompanied (it was a nursery jubilee party) the mother even had the cheek to ask my mum about it etc, i never contributed to this either due to being so skint.

What makes women like this take it upon them selves to make other women feel like this, i would never do this to someone else, i was fucking raging when i got home, sobbing and raging, i hope her little dahhhhling is not going to the same school as mine or this will be a shit load of bollocks for the next few years i can foresee it already. And how do i deal with things when i see her next?!

OP posts:
WinstonWolf · 12/07/2012 22:58

Ignore that, I see that you've already covered it. Sorry that your Uni weren't more help.

MamaMaiasaura · 12/07/2012 22:58

Oh a d uni may have emergency fund available x

MsVelvet · 12/07/2012 22:59

I have PM you hectorthestandbyhawk :) x

OP posts:
PatFenis · 12/07/2012 22:59

If its any consolation MsVelvet I was absolutely slated by some mums at my DDs school when I told the alphamum who was organising the whip round for the class teacher who was retiring last year. The reason I didn't want to contribute was that this teacher had taught all 6 of my DC.

My eldest son had been in her very first class when she started at the school and my youngest DD was in her last class so we had a great history and I felt that I should get her something personal from my whole family as had known each other for 20 years rather than just chuck in a fiver.

But I still got called on it - I didn't care. It was worth it when all my children came to the school on her last day and gave her her gift and we all had a hug and a little weep together.

Let this vile womans comments go right over your head, she sounds like a real nightmare!

MsVelvet · 12/07/2012 23:03

yeah MamaMaiasaura looks like i have no choice now anyway after a being a few % short of the minimum to transfer over. But as long as i qualify and get to work in a job i love and help people who need it and make my girl proud of me, oh and also prove people wrong that said i couldn't do it, then that's good enough for me :)

OP posts:
simpson · 12/07/2012 23:12

I have some worn but ok white polo shirts if you would like them. They are age 4-5 I think....

50shadesofslapntickle · 12/07/2012 23:22

Just seen your daughter is 4! I sent you a msg about clothes but my dd is younger than yours but have also seen others offer so I hope you take them up on the offer - please do. You could have had some of my dd's stuff but it would be too small!

MsVelvet · 12/07/2012 23:29

Thats ok thank you for thinking of me anyway 50Shades :) very kind of you to care enough to message me.xx

Simpson, i have been offered a few alreadyso i think i will ok for polo shirts now, but thankyou for your kindness xx

OP posts:
Hownoobrooncoo · 12/07/2012 23:54

She's out of order and needs to be told. I collected for a class present one year. Felt bad asking folk. Some didn't contribute for whatever reason - wanting to buy a personal gift etc. Last thing I wanted was folk thinking it was mandatory. All children's names went on the card whether their parents contributed or not. You should complain about her if you can deal with the heat.

AllOverIt · 13/07/2012 06:45

This thread has made me Smile

My DD is much younger OP, otherwise you'd be welcome to DD's clothes too.

Best of luck to you in your studies. You sound lovely Smile

CharlieUniformNovemberTango · 13/07/2012 07:21

Hang on in there OP. your daughter is going to be so so proud of her mummy for working this hard!

And you should be proud too!

BellaOfTheBalls · 13/07/2012 15:36

Can I just say, I know MsVelvet personally and once again MN-er's you have made me cry. You have no idea what this woman has been through and continues to go through on a day to day basis.

OP, YADNBU and you're an ANGEL Wink

CinnabarRed · 13/07/2012 17:11

MsVelvet - please PM me? I'm on my iPhone so can't start a PM to you but if you send me one I will be able to reply.

ontheedgeofwhatever · 13/07/2012 17:55

Wish I'd read this thread a week ago before i charity shopped huge pile of DD's stuff or I'd be sending you a big parcel

As for judgmental bovine she sounds horrible. What's wrong with putting your DD's name on the card it costs her nothing. We've run collections before and every child's name goes on the card regardless of whether parents can or choose to contribute or not. Some can and don't some can't and don't but either way its not the child's decision I'd give her £2 for you though it may take her some time to extract it from various orifices. If anyone was disgusting she was. If she had a hint of decency about her she'd have told you not to worry.

YADNBU

ontheedgeofwhatever · 13/07/2012 18:00

PS I remember my single parent mum graduating when i was 9 which enabled her to get a get a job she loved helping people and nearly exploding with pride. Your little girl will be so proud of you

mumzy · 13/07/2012 18:20

The way to look at it is,as other posters have said, she gets off on being the one to give the teacher with an OTT and often totally inappropriate present. There are always these mums in every school and if I don't want to contribute I politely tell them the dc have already made something ( usually a card with a nice wrapped choc stuck on it) especially when they have a collection at Xmas as well. I really do think there should be a policy about the value of gifts that teachers can accept. In the NHS we are not allowed to accept any personal gifts at all bar a box of chocs ( value should be less than £10) and to be shared amongst colleagues.

ontheedgeofwhatever · 13/07/2012 18:27

Is that true Mumzy - was thinking of buying my community midwife a big box of chocolates and a bottle of wine - if anyone deserves it after putting up with my whinging, moaning and various ailments through 2 pregnancies she does Grin

thixotropic · 13/07/2012 18:35

It's interesting you say that, mumzy, I work for a local authority, almost exactly the same rules apply re gifts.

Good idea IMHO.

Birdsgottafly · 13/07/2012 18:40

Tins of roses/quality street, go down well, in my office.

'Posh biscuits', won't be refused, either.

wigglesrock · 13/07/2012 18:49

ontheedgeofwhatever I have always bought my midwives big boxes of sweets, bags of sucky sweets iykwim, mints etc and those variety packs of chocolate bars Grin I love my midwives, one of them has been at all 3 of my births, just luck of the draw of shifts (or not in her case Grin).

MsVelvet · 13/07/2012 18:59

Thanks everyone, been a little busy today as i had a home visit from my DD reception teacher from school for when she starts in Sept, i have told her that she will be getting some nice things sent to her from lovely people, we received 1 box today, and she was sooooooooo excited x100. I am going to do my best to study during the next week in prep for year 3 in Sept as after next Fri my DD will be on her hols and so i wont have any peace and quiet, she is a right chatterbox.

Because of the teacher visit today which was at 1:30pm i decided to not bother taking her to nursery to have to bring her back again after a couple of hrs so we both stayed home, so didn't see the horrible mum. But im sure our paths will cross before nxt Fri, just going to put my proud face on and not give a dam what she thinks, i know i do my best, who i am and what i am trying to achieve and i don't have to prove myself to anyone at all!!

OP posts:
cubbie · 13/07/2012 19:03

If you would like some toys for your DD, please PM me. We have loads of Happyland stuff from ELC that my 2 DS don't play with anymore as they are spoiled rotten now play with different toys.

DS2 will b 4 in a couple of weeks and am dreading the toys which will no doubt ensue. (no offence to those who will give presents at his party. I do of course appreciate them, it's just that we have far too much already and need a SWAT team to declutter the place. Plus I need to be less sentimental about stuff!!!)

Floggingmolly · 13/07/2012 19:05

Tell her to keep watching for the postman Wink

SoleSource · 13/07/2012 19:07

My box will arrive next week :)

Mother2many · 13/07/2012 19:11

If you can, your DD and you can make a card...to me, it's much more special as it is homemade....