She had no right to call me disgusting and judge me!!!!!

[MsVelvet]

Just went to drop my daughter at nursery, and as i was leaving another mum said to me, 'did you get my note about putting some money together for a leaving present next Friday' i said no as i hadn't but that i wouldn't be contributing as im a student nurse and skint, she then said to me, you're serious? So i said yes, she said it's only £2 or so, so i said to her that i did not have any money at all, she walked ahead down the stairs and said 'how disgusting' So i caught up with her and told her im practically living off payday loans (yes its stupid, another thread altogether!!)

I am also on the verge of eviction and i am trying to sort everything out, (so putting in money to a leaving gift is not top of my priority and i would rather get something from myself anyway if i could get enough cash together!) she just made me fel so fucking shitty and then said 'i wont put your daughters name on the card' to which i told her thats fine, don't!, i am struggling so hard, 1 year left till i qualify and i am just about able to get by, no treats no fun, no anything.

AIBU to think that she is bang out of order to fucking make me feel like this? bearing in mind, that not long ago she did a collection for £10 from the parents to help the nursery to buy a new tv to put on the wall, i didnt contribute to that either and when my mum went to the jubilee party as i was on placement and so my mum had to be there as all the kids had to be accompanied (it was a nursery jubilee party) the mother even had the cheek to ask my mum about it etc, i never contributed to this either due to being so skint.

What makes women like this take it upon them selves to make other women feel like this, i would never do this to someone else, i was fucking raging when i got home, sobbing and raging, i hope her little dahhhhling is not going to the same school as mine or this will be a shit load of bollocks for the next few years i can foresee it already. And how do i deal with things when i see her next?!

you can also speak to your dd's new school & apply for uniform from them. they can't insist that dd wears it anyway, so no reason to buy the stuff if you don't need to, but it's often cheap & reasonably hard wearing.

lots of pta's give second hand uniform to people that need it as well.

there is no shame in having no money, particularly with what you are doing. I live in the US, so can't help, but there are loads of threads on here with people suggesting ways to save money (including cutting down on interest of any money you owe)

There will always be competitive mums out there, and some of them will just look for a way to put others down. personally, I have one or two friends, and otherwise I am polite and chatty but don't get drawn into the whole school gates politics. I think having a job that means so much to you will be your best defense - you know how petty their squabbles are, and your work will take up your time/thoughts anyway.

I'm glad you're feeling netter MsVelvet People whom are nasty and spiteful are sometimes being treated themselves that way or have done in their past. Her abuse made her feel superior for a few seconds until she needs another fix, a new victim, this time it was you. Do not be tempted to talk about her to anyone else at the school unless they do so first. Even then be careful as you know what people can be!

I think you handled her well. :) I hope she wishes the ground would swallow her up when she is pulled up about her vile fat trap!

I've got quite a few pairs of jeans age 3-4 if you'd like them. Mostly Next and some new. There's quite a few tops, skirts etc in age 4 - again some haven't been worn. Some lellie kellies size 9 that still look quite nice and a new pair of slippers in a 10 but they come up small so didn't fit my daughter. PM me your address and I'll send them over.

I hope she is replaying back what she said and is thoroughly ashamed of herself. I agree with the others about reporting her to the manager, you should not be bullied or coerced into anything you don't want to do.

Get your DD to draw a picture on some paper and write your own thankyou. It will mean more. Maybe also tell the nursery owner that this woman is being rude and hounding you about money and you are struggling.

Sorry i am trying to answer pms and also answer my cloth nappy questions on another forum, i am getting there slowly but surely, bare with me x

I remember being so poor when I was a student I ate one meal a day. What a great choice of course though msv

Ignore her. I can help with uniform and bag for school

Msvelvet how old is your DD ..... I always have clothes to pass on and would be happy to send you some stuff for your dd if that would help. You can PM her age and your address ......
Sorry about what happened ........

YANBU.
I am collecting for our class teacher at the moment and I wouldn't dream of treating someone the way this woman spoke to you.
If you want to contribute, great, and if you don't that's fine too. You shouldn't have been made to feel crap all because at the very least she has no manners.

Sorry you are going through a hard time but hopefully out there somewhere, there will be light at the end of the tunnel for you.

4 - 5 years for clothes

8 - 9 for shoes

:)

One day, she will be admitted to the hospital where you are working, and you will give her exemplary care, and she will find out how "disgusting" you really are!

I don't give to collections, i will thank DS teacher and DD playgroup and we will make a homemade card.

I think the nursery will be horrified that parents are being gulited into paying money, especially if the parent is struggling to make ends meet.

x

Have you tried asking the Uni for some financial help? They have an access to learning fund. All you need to do is go and see them and fill in a form. You can also claim housing benefit, and don't forget to claim your travel costs back.

The woman is a cow and definitely complain to the nursery about her harassing you for money.
Oh, and there's nowt wrong with EBay or fleabay as it gets called in this house
we buy the majority of our DD's clothes from there aswell as stuff for ourselves and the house. My DD is only a few months old so I haven't got anything but it looks like the fab Mumsnetters have got it sorted.
Good luck with your training.

Thanks everyone, my faith in people is being restored. So glad i came on here, helped me to not feel so shitty, its been a rough old day i can tell you!! So glad i dont have to do any essay writing or id pass out, im drained!

Thanks for the drink Catgirl1976 :D

hugs for you op. x

this thread has made me smile, everyone has been so nice to op

:)

LadySybildeChocolate i phoned uni yesterday about ALF but its finished for this year, have to wait till Sept i think she said to apply for yr 3, so nowt i can do till then :/ Fingers crossed ill get extra help then though..

Hey MsVelvet - whatever happens don't give up on your course, you'll get through it and be successful and be helping people all the time. And remember when you next see her, "what goes around, comes around".... hold your head high and rise above it all knowing that!

PM me your address OP. I have 2 girls so a good rummage will sort a few bits out for you. Also have a grey pinafore school dress, and an autumn coat too I think. I want you to have them.

Don't let this thoughtless excuse for a woman get you down. You are clearly worth more than that.

That's crap, MsVelvet. Did you tell them that you're struggling? The Uni here give out supermarket vouchers if students show them a mini statement to prove they are broke. I only have boys clothes I'm afraid, and he's 13.

Yep, i explained that im living on borrowed time but they said there is nothing i can do till sept, im just waiting tfor my nurse bank interview so i can start doing some shifts before i start back at uni, fingers crossed i get the job and they take me on!! or that really will be a confidence breaker for me..just got to be positive!!!

Are you claiming housing benefit? I don't think you can get income support over the break as you should have a bursary. You can get a student loan as well if you're on a degree course, have you applied for one?

It's not easy, you're almost there though. Did you join a union? Some of these have funds that you can apply for, Unison have a great one.

Msv , pm me your address too , I bought new school uniform for dd1 and then moved house , so we never used it . Have still got some of it tucked away which should fit .