Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

She had no right to call me disgusting and judge me!!!!!

245 replies

MsVelvet · 12/07/2012 10:08

Just went to drop my daughter at nursery, and as i was leaving another mum said to me, 'did you get my note about putting some money together for a leaving present next Friday' i said no as i hadn't but that i wouldn't be contributing as im a student nurse and skint, she then said to me, you're serious? So i said yes, she said it's only £2 or so, so i said to her that i did not have any money at all, she walked ahead down the stairs and said 'how disgusting' So i caught up with her and told her im practically living off payday loans (yes its stupid, another thread altogether!!)

I am also on the verge of eviction and i am trying to sort everything out, (so putting in money to a leaving gift is not top of my priority and i would rather get something from myself anyway if i could get enough cash together!) she just made me fel so fucking shitty and then said 'i wont put your daughters name on the card' to which i told her thats fine, don't!, i am struggling so hard, 1 year left till i qualify and i am just about able to get by, no treats no fun, no anything.

AIBU to think that she is bang out of order to fucking make me feel like this? bearing in mind, that not long ago she did a collection for £10 from the parents to help the nursery to buy a new tv to put on the wall, i didnt contribute to that either and when my mum went to the jubilee party as i was on placement and so my mum had to be there as all the kids had to be accompanied (it was a nursery jubilee party) the mother even had the cheek to ask my mum about it etc, i never contributed to this either due to being so skint.

What makes women like this take it upon them selves to make other women feel like this, i would never do this to someone else, i was fucking raging when i got home, sobbing and raging, i hope her little dahhhhling is not going to the same school as mine or this will be a shit load of bollocks for the next few years i can foresee it already. And how do i deal with things when i see her next?!

OP posts:
hhhhhhh · 12/07/2012 10:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MsVelvet · 12/07/2012 10:44

SoleSource, she is between an 8-9 :) Thankyou..Feeling very guilty, as this was not my intention at all, but very kind of you to offer x

OP posts:
HappyJoyful · 12/07/2012 10:46

YANBU, I can only ditto all that has been said- jesus, what a bitch.. If you PM me her address I'll send her not only the £2 but a note giving her a piece of my mind. As others have said, do tell nursery and to be honest too- I was rather shocked they commented on your dds clothes- is that normal?! Some incredibly kind ladies sent us some clothes and books for dd recently for which I am eternally appreciative of- don't be embarrassed/too proud to accept any offers of help- my dd is younger so afraid I haven't any that would fit but most certainly want to take £2 and shove it up where sun don't shine to that woman. How can someone say, 'I'll leave name off card' about a 4yr old..outsoddingrageous.

spiderlight · 12/07/2012 10:47

What a nasty, horrible thing for her to have said! :( Make a lovely card with your daughter to give next Friday - that will be appreciated far more anyway, and leaving her off the card is unbelievably petty. I only have boys' clothes or I'd be putting a bundle together for your daughter right now.

littlemachine · 12/07/2012 10:47

I feel so angry on your behalf OP, what an absolute bitch. I agree with telling the nursery - I'm a teacher, and I have often had to speak to parents about incidents of bullying on the playground/at pickup, or pass them onto the head. It is not acceptable.

FWIW, I always feel uncomfortable about the parents buying me presents at Christmas and summer, as I work in a very deprived area and I know our parents don't have much. I feel grateful for the gesture, but I worry about what they are going without. I'd be mortified if I thought they were spending ten pounds on me. I love a picture or card made by the child or just a parent telling me their child has enjoyed their year. Nobody has the right to judge you and make you uncomfortable or embarrassed.

Angry
DunkyWhorey · 12/07/2012 10:49

YANBU what a cow.

PleaseTakeOffYourJimmyChoos · 12/07/2012 10:49

YANBU op-what a horrible cowbag she sounds.Please blank her from now on.
And lovely that others are offering to send clothes!Not everyones horribleSmile

MsVelvet · 12/07/2012 10:49

Thankyou Wigglesrock, i will x

Yesterday i took all my gold to a shop to sell it so i can get my rent paid as i am so behind, i finished an 8 week placement which was the last of the 2nd year of my course, i loved it so much, i am trying to get on to the nursing bank but my interview is not until the end of Aug so there is no chance of even trying to earn a little extra before then whilst studying etc.

I love my job so much, my patients loved me, i got such a good welcome everyday, the staff want me to come and work there back as i was good at what i do, but this woman has almost stomped me down to the ground and shat all over my confidence...Now i need to bring myself back up again, and it aint easy when everything is a struggle, the amount of times i have almost quit uni and then stuck at it, and im glad i did, it's just so hard at times...

OP posts:
SaggyOldClothCatPuss · 12/07/2012 10:50

What a foul woman. Please have a chat with the nursery. I'm sure that they will be cross that she is badgering people for money.

AngusOg · 12/07/2012 10:50

Please could someone explain to me how to pm? Blush

slartybartfast · 12/07/2012 10:53

can you do some care work in an old people's home for example, for a bit extra?

and dont worry about the silly old moo. she was out of order. she must know it

wigglesrock · 12/07/2012 10:53

Honestly its no bother. Thanks to grandparents etc my girls have a better wardrobe than me, and our summer is looking a bit shite Grin so I'd be really pleased if someone could get the use of them.

AngusOg · 12/07/2012 10:53

MsVelvet - are you getting all the help you could, re finances? Is it worth chatting to the student welfare officer at your uni to see if there are other funds you could tap into given your circumstances?

Lemonylemon · 12/07/2012 10:54

OP: Please pm me. I have some 4yo clothes you can have

CookieRookie · 12/07/2012 10:56

I'm in Ireland but would be happy to post some outfits to you. Dd is quite a bit older than your dd but dniece is a petite 4 yo. Please pm me if I can help in any way.
Try to keep your chin up. I was in a similar situation a few years ago. Passing my exams and getting that first pay pack was so worth it. You're doing something you and your dd can be proud of. Well done and good luck with the rest of your training.

lemonmuffin · 12/07/2012 10:57

Ignore her. Honestly. She's the one who is disgusting, speaking to another mother like that.

MsVelvet · 12/07/2012 10:58

AngusOg i have PM'd you :) if you scroll to the top of the page it should show you have mail, I am getting everything im intitled to, but where i am being in a lot of bills everytime i get my bursary i have to pay more than half of it back out, which means i am screwed for the coming four weeks, im trying to get straight so this does not keep happening and i wont have to keep borrowing all the time to catch up...Its horrible, when you constantly worry if you have enough to buy gas /electric or food forget even about other things then it is CRAP, but im sticking at it cos i love my chosen career..

OP posts:
littleducks · 12/07/2012 10:59

Get your daughter to make a card and write a little note yourself explaining the things you have appreciated most about the nursery. This will matter far more to the staff I'm sure.

You mention you may be evicted Sad so I'm not sure if this will help but I am currently moving house. I have some old clothes of my daughters that I feel are too nice for a charity shop but i dont know anyone to pass them on to. So you would be doing me a favour if you let me send them to you, otherwise I will keep hoarding! I would pay the postage. They are mostly gap size 4 and 5 and are bright/colourful if you like that kind of thing.

Feel free to PM me if you prefer privacy.

I'm a student SLT and receive a bursary that covers my needs, for which I'm very grateful, there are others on my course who really struggle to afford to continue so wouldn't dream of judging.

milkymocha · 12/07/2012 11:01

Iam sad that i cant help you with your DDs clothing as i only have much younger sons :(

I wanted to ask are student nurses allowed to still claim Income Support? Iam not flaming or judging, iam genuinely asking out of interest (and hoping to get into nursing myself!)

Ignore this horrible cow, how dare she belittle you. I would love to throw a £2 coin at her head personally.

AngusOg · 12/07/2012 11:01

Ms Velvet - got it! You have mail too :)

Goldenbear · 12/07/2012 11:01

YANBU, and well done for confronting her. We have a collection going at my DS's school for the teacher and 2 TAs the class rep keeps harassing me for 5 pounds for the teacher and whatever I can give for the 2 TAs. I have also been reminded twice that my name will not be put on the card if I don't contribute.

Also, I think it is completely natural for her remarks to affect your feelings. This is why people say things like this, of course you can choose how you react but I can completely understand dwelling on her comments when you are constantly thinking about your finances anyway!

Quenelle · 12/07/2012 11:02

YANBU Please complain about this woman to the nursery. It is outrageous that she has been allowed to make you feel this way. She's probably been hassling loads of parents and making a real nuisance of herself.

StealthPolarBear · 12/07/2012 11:03

I have a small 5yo boy who is growing out of some bits. Please pm your address and ill gladly send them, I'm afraid they will be well worn but will fit her x

SusanneLinder · 12/07/2012 11:04

OP-have pmed you.

I am not sure where you are in the country, but there are a few agencies that will take student nurses in Bank work.

These are the ones that I know nationally

www.h1healthcare.com/

www.ambition24hours.co.uk/

DH has worked for the second one, before he qualified and post qualified.They pay good rates and pay weekly too.

SoleSource · 12/07/2012 11:05

Does your DD like Hello Kitty MsVelvet?