To not find this amusing? (I know I am not, just want to whinge)

[fullofregrets]

Ok, so I am a sahm. Obviously financially dependant on dh. Dh earns a reasonable amount (quite a lot more than national average - not a stealth boast a, only mentioning it to show it isnt like he is struggling for money himself) and gives me some money each month. However, he seems to think that everything is 'his' money and questions what I spend. And makes little jokes which are not funny.
Today I was wearing a new top (tesco,£6) and he asked if it was new. When I said yes, he replied 'I must be paying you too much, I'll have to cut your wages.'
Oh how I laughed. This from a man who spent 200 on a night out the weekend before last and more than that on three designer t shirts last month. I rarely buy anything for myself, and if I do it is from tesco, Asda etc. I haven't had my haircut for over a year and rarely go out. I spend 'my' money on ds, food, petrol, a couple of bills and family and friends' birthday or Christmas presents.
It isn't funny is it? He says it like a joke but I feel he does mean it on some level. He has made similar comments before such as 'bathrooms not cleaned today? I'll have to cut your wages.'

Bill him for all the work you do. That'll shut him up.

Financially dependent

Perhaps tot up childcare costs? And cleaners wages? Etc etc

He'll soon realise he's getting a bargain.

Either that or kick him in the balls

I'm a SAHM and DH wouldn't dream of making comments like that.

Wrong wrong wrong! I am a SAHM and we share DH's wages, we both have a cashpoint card for the joint account and help ourselves, they are my wages too as WE decided I should stay home to look after OUR child.

I think you need to work to rule, no nookie or cleaning in your house for a week!

Why haven't you had a haircut for goodness sake?
Why don't you go out?

Yanbu. He doesn't sound very nice if he is spending loads on himself but jokingly complaining about you get a cheap new shirt. Have you tried to tell him how it makes you feel?

I would tell him to fuck off and if he dared say anything like that again he would not be married for much longer.

DH used the phrase 'but I go to work all day.' once to me... He has NEVER said it to me again! I do actually work was just on mat leave!

YA so so so NBU

You are both working together to provide for your family. You share responsibilities - he goes out to earn money and you do the looking after. I agree with Ginger - you should have joint EVERYTHING (all accounts, pension etc).

YANBU. Sorry but he sounds like an utter tool. "Cut your wages" indeed, honestly what a prat, I am annoyed just reading it. He should see you as a partner who also contributes, but by these comments it sounds like he thinks he is subsidising you for not working :(

my EXH was the same, note the X part,

i would bill him too or go on strike,

I do feel he resents having to give me any money. Yet we both agreed I would stay home and it would cost more in childcare for ds than what he gives me.

I can't afford haircut or to go out much. Especially months where I have bought ds shoes or paid for a termly subscription for him to one of the groups we go to.

Leave the bastard.

Seriously, though, in a relationship where you are bringing up children, all income has to be shared. If you weren't there, he would have to pay for a nanny, a cleaner, someone to do the ironing etc. It would soon add up - particularly if he likes to go out of an evening.

I would laugh too op...just before I stabbed him in the eye with a fork!
What an arse!

as i said op my ex was the same, he acted as if i did nothing all day and just sat on my arse, looking after his 2 children and doing everything eles didnt count to him, he didnt give me any money as it was "his" money. not our money,

you really need to sort things as you will end up resenting him,

(hugs) xxx

fucking bill him

how dare he

add up everything he would have to pay for a cook, cleaner, childminder, PA etc and hand it over

then demand to share your finances. You can't afford to get your hair cut whilst he buys expensive t shirts? This is absolutely NOT ON.

What an arse!

Why are you buying stuff for the children & family food with your "allowance?"

I don´t go out to work-but have a debit card for our account-thought that that was usual.

I agree bill him!

And then tell him it is all SHARED money or you're off.

I just couldn't live like that, what an arse.

that is a really mean thing to say, designed to put you down. I'm a SAHM as childcare costs would exceed my take home pay, joint decision but we have joint bank a/c, savings, mortgage etc I don't get any of the cracks about allowances but its a partnership, we work together to raise a family.

Sod the allowance, get a lovely haircut and treat yourself. You deserve it, you bring as much to the family as he does.

Oh yeah hilarious! That must get so wearing. Have you told him you hate it?

In fact, our ISA is in my name and we have money from his wage going in every month! It may be in my name but it is his too because we are married and everything is shared!

Your H is obviously another one of those selfish pricks who think that their partner is only there for his convenience and to look after him and his children without giving a rats ass about your feelings .

Seriously, don't put up with his disgusting , humiliating behaviour towards you . You are not his skivvy

Tell him he is a selfish wanker
Get a haircut
Buy something nice to wear and go out this weekend

My husband would be fucking dead if he dared to speak to me like that!!