To not find this amusing? (I know I am not, just want to whinge)

[fullofregrets]

Ok, so I am a sahm. Obviously financially dependant on dh. Dh earns a reasonable amount (quite a lot more than national average - not a stealth boast a, only mentioning it to show it isnt like he is struggling for money himself) and gives me some money each month. However, he seems to think that everything is 'his' money and questions what I spend. And makes little jokes which are not funny.
Today I was wearing a new top (tesco,£6) and he asked if it was new. When I said yes, he replied 'I must be paying you too much, I'll have to cut your wages.'
Oh how I laughed. This from a man who spent 200 on a night out the weekend before last and more than that on three designer t shirts last month. I rarely buy anything for myself, and if I do it is from tesco, Asda etc. I haven't had my haircut for over a year and rarely go out. I spend 'my' money on ds, food, petrol, a couple of bills and family and friends' birthday or Christmas presents.
It isn't funny is it? He says it like a joke but I feel he does mean it on some level. He has made similar comments before such as 'bathrooms not cleaned today? I'll have to cut your wages.'

I have nowhere else to go.
I don't even know where I'd start.

Well if you divorce him you'll probably get the house. That's a start.

Why don't you assert your own financial independence and go out and get a job. If not and since you say you entered the arrangement and were happy with the arrangement at the start maybe you need to budget better to get back to the situation you were once happy in.

Jesus. I am not usually a man basher on these threads but your husband is a grade A selfish prick. And he will not change. And it sounds like you know this but feel stuck.

Do you have friends and family in real life you can talk to about this? Do you know any women who have split from their husband and can talk to you about the practicalities? I am sure there must be advice and support groups you could phone but I don't know which ones sorry. Maybe another poster knows more.

Chandon's suggestions are where to start when the time comes to tackle him and renegotiate your agreement to stay home, Fullofregrets.

You need to first have spent half an hour free of charge talking to a solicitor about your rights in the event of divorce.

You should also look up the Women's Aid Freedom Programme and see how it could benefit you emotionally and psychologically. Please do the programme. You need it badly.

You should spend a bit of time investigating your job prospects.

In the event he baulks when you have the conversation Chandon suggests, and reveals himself to be the entitled, selfish chauvinist he seems to be, then you will know how to go about taking the next step.

He treats you like a servant. Why are you married to a man that treats you so cold?

He will not change, he's too selfish.

Leave him while you're still young. You'll be so much happier on your own.

It will only get worse as you'll grow older, and you'll only find it harder to get work.

Please, take care of yourself.

This is not normal at all or remotely funny. I know many people and no one lives like this. Honestly OP you need to do something you don't need to accept it. Brought to mind the awful case in the news at the moment about those poor homeless men being mistreated you are not a million miles away from that .

OP its up to you whether you are a victim or not. You clearly aren't in a supportive fifty fifty relationship. Having to sell personal items on ebay to buy your parent something shows you are in dire straights. You say your partner has no undertanding of how much things are, that sounds like bullshit to me. He knows enough that he is able to calculate your worth. You have been given some really good advice by people who have had similar experiences now it is up to you to decide if you will continue to be a victim or do something about it.