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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think buying big rewards for school reports is unnecessary?

162 replies

Molehillmountain · 07/07/2012 20:33

Friend of ours has bought year one child a trampoline as a reward for a good end of year report. Didn't occur to me to do anything other than read report with child and say well done. Am I a meanie?

OP posts:
OldGreyWiffleTest · 07/07/2012 20:39

It depends if you want to 'encourage' your child to do well again next year. Obviously the lady who bought the trampoline thought just that.

Sparklingbrook · 07/07/2012 20:39

YANBU. Rewarding them for something they should be doing surely?

SecretPlace · 07/07/2012 20:40

No you're not a meanie, they're just particularly extravagant in rewarding something that should be done anyway :o

ariadne1 · 07/07/2012 21:29

No but your neigyhbour is doing nothing wrong either.You sound a bit sneery

Toughasoldboots · 07/07/2012 21:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 07/07/2012 21:36

YANBU

sixlostmonkeys · 07/07/2012 21:40

I've always said there is no need to to reward an achievement as the achievement is the reward in itself.
Encouraging a child to do well purely for monetary (or similar) reward isn't something I personally would do - I would rather a child grow into a person who enjoys achieving, learning. doing. taking part, for reasons other than the £££.

NeverKnowinglyUnderstood · 07/07/2012 21:41

We don't do big things for achievement.
We take the boys out for pizza if they get "always tried hard" on their reports.
for us that is the thing.

GoodButNotOutstanding · 07/07/2012 21:47

I don't believe in big rewardsfor reports. Or exam results. What happens if circumstances change and you can't afford a big present next year? Do your kids then think they have no reason to do well?

I would far rather be encouraging effort for the sake of effort and academic success is its own reward. I was never given anything for reports or exam results but still managed to do very well academically, so there are obviously other ways to encourage hard work.

Having said that, other people are entitled to do whatever they please, and if they think it will work for their kids I wouldn't try to persuade them otherwise, unless they really can't afford the presents they keep buying like my sister.

LynetteScavo · 07/07/2012 21:48

I told DS (13) he could have an ipod if his engagement levels improved significantly.

They didn't. (Am a bit relieved as I couldn't really afford one Grin)

I wouldn't reward for GCSE or Alevel results. The reward is in the qualification, surely.

Quip · 07/07/2012 21:50

I got a mars bar for straight As at GCSE.

LustingAfterMarkDarcy · 07/07/2012 21:52

Ours will get a bag of sweets or hot wheels car for a pound! X

PastaLadyHasNameChangedForThis · 07/07/2012 21:52

I used to get a Cadbury's Caramac. Every parent's evening, every report. Without fail.

These parents you talk about will be the ones offering financial rewards for GCSE grades too.

I hate it.

IsLovingAndGiving · 07/07/2012 21:53

A trampoline for a school report??! Will they receive such extravagant gifts each year?

I don't particularly believe in gifts for reports, but I did end up buying 'where's wally' books for dd & ds last yr & may have set myself up for it now!

StripyMagicDragon · 07/07/2012 21:55

It's not something I think I would do, because im tight and don't like spending much money. But each to thier own, maybe they were buying a trampoline anyway and decided to make it a reward rather than a random gift.

MerylStrop · 07/07/2012 21:56

That kind of lavish reward/incentivisation backfires really easily

Mine might get some sweets

MerylStrop · 07/07/2012 21:56

Even if it says rotten things about them

difficultpickle · 07/07/2012 21:57

Gosh what are the parents going to buy trampoline child if s/he does well at GCSEs (or whatever exams they will take at 16)?

I really can't see the point in giving rewards. Praise should be sufficient and encouragement to do well. It's a slippery slope from bribes rewards to running your dcs lives and wanting to phone up their university tutor to complain about them being kicked out for not working (as someone was keen to do for their dc on another recent thread).

toysoldiers · 07/07/2012 21:57

DS1 is in year1.

He has worked really hard on his writing and reading this year, and has gone from having no concentration, hating school to be really enthused.

So I'm planning to buy him a moshi monsters notebook and some new pens, so that he can continue to write stories etc even though he's not at school. (wishful thinking).

StealthPolarBear · 07/07/2012 21:59

Ds got 2 chocolate buttons and will get a car next time we go shopping. He's in reception so he's getting them for the comments about polite, sharing and trying hard and we're making sure he knws that.

difficultpickle · 07/07/2012 22:03

Gosh, his own car at the age of 5? Isn't he a bit young to drive? Grin

blisterpack · 07/07/2012 22:07

Hahaha, YANBU of course. Be sneery all you like, this is one case where it's ok to Wink.

StealthPolarBear · 07/07/2012 22:08

Oh come on he is "a pleasure to have in the class" - its the least I can do. If he does well in gcses (o levels?) I'll get him a helicopter and build a helipad in the garden

Ruprekt · 07/07/2012 22:09

I got nothing as a child and I always felt a bit miffed about it.

My boys have both worked very hard this year, got 100% attendance and have had lovely personal comments about them which was the best bit!

We will treat them next week though they do not know it yet but it will be a present, a cake and may be a meal out.

Vagaceratops · 07/07/2012 22:12

We take the DS's out for a meal at the end of summer term, as a treat for doing well and trying hard.