To think buying big rewards for school reports is unnecessary?

[Molehillmountain]

Friend of ours has bought year one child a trampoline as a reward for a good end of year report. Didn't occur to me to do anything other than read report with child and say well done. Am I a meanie?

mine get a treat specifically for a good report
it encourages them to try just as hard of not harder for the next one

I think the trampoline is setting herself up for trouble, how can she took it but the thinking is there

*top it...

Sorry but those who think montearey reward is not good clearly dont understand children very well

Its well know with in childcare circles that reward and consequence get the best out of children

We all work for reward adults work for bouns and promation so why do people think children are any diffrent

Their is a well know theory called feakanomics they went into a deprived school in the usa and started paying students for behaviour and magicaly some of the laxy students started working hard and grades started going

Mrbojangles it depends o much on the child. Mine are very self driven. they are able to see, longer term , where working hard at school gets you ie away , eventually from minimum wage jobs ( though they also know academics are rarely millionaires lol ) .

My DS especially will beat himself up for any grade less than an A *. To make a financial reward would just allow him to beat himself up more ....

But yes I'm sure in families where academic achievement carries little value , payment by results works. The money that was previously paid to 16-18yr olds ( 30 a week or something) from low income families was dependent on at least attendence and helped a bit .,..typically its been withdrawn.

A tarmpoline is a bit much but i think its good for children to be made a big fuss of when they do well but my child will defo be getting a reward for doing well

I wouldn't do it for such a young child and such an expensive present.

At the moment my DD (just finishing R) is really motivated, she loves doing school work and helping the teacher and being a good friend. Praise is reward enough, she thrives on it. So at the moment I don't want to detract from that.

there is nothing better for a child than parents saying wow well done with a good report lets go to town and get you or lets go for lunch , I am all for kids being self motivated but praise where praise is due IMO , I am not a believer of praise for everything it can set children up failure and disappointment but a well done you tried really hard I am so pleased you tried so hard will boost a kids esteem sky high,

I don't really agree with big rewards for good school reports - they SHOULD be good, its not a favour to us for them to get a good report.

Certainly when they are really young I don't think they actually think about whether they are working towards getting a good report, they just do what they do. It is slightly different at secondary school though.

My DS is 6, he usually gets a big hug and we say well done, he seems happy with that. We are proud of him of course but I don't want to get him a present for his report as I think it is unecessary.

I think a bit of attention and praise is much more effective than material possessions.

I grew up in a very poor household on a rough council estate. My parents were on disability benefits since i was aged 8, so there was never much money.

Every time i did well in school, i'd get a hug and would be told how impressed they were with how hard i worked. It made me want to work harder, and i went onto to pretty advanced academic study.

Meanwhile, i met a guy in university who got a brand new car for getting three C's at A-level. His father said he'd get a brand new Porsche Boxster if he got 3 A's and somehow that still wasn't motivation enough, however he still got a brand new VW Golf GTI for getting 3 C's. His family was very rich though, millionaires for sure. But it didn't motivate their son much, he got a low 2:2 for his degree and he wasn't short on intelligence, he was just lazy.

cog I agree with you I am trying to say this in the nicest possible way so dont all jump on me , but sometimes children get praise and stuff for very little effort and that cant be good for a child,

I couldn't afford to pay my kids for all of their good grades

They get lots of praise for good reports and we all have a meal out to celebrate. That's enough IMO.

Who was it that pointed out that as adults many people are at least partially motivated by financial reward (at the most basic level a salary, but also hope of promotion leading to increased salary or in some cases bonus) at least in part - and before somebody jumps up and says that if that were true there would be no nurses or other low paid but hard working people, this is indeed true and indicates that some people are more motivated by material reward than others - but still not many people would work for long for nothing/ a dorm room and food vouchers, not matter how intrinsically satisfying the job! There is a place for rewards in childhood just as there is in adulthood IMO.

Me too AlmostAHipster, oh I'd have to mortgage my house.

Well DS got two cars (convertible for summer and a 4x4 for the winter) so ner. If you can't afford to treat your children in this way following a glowing reception report then I respectfully suggest you can't afford them and should ahve thought of this before you had them :o

I think there are so many variables involved in motivating DCs for schoolwork that it is completely impossible to have a blanket rule about what might or might not be appropriate compensation/reward for any given child in any given school and in any given family.

Some DCs might require a kiss, cuddle and a well done and other might need a trampoline. And a million things in between.

dd1 is year 8 will get £5 for every sub level she has increased since her last report. Yes, I know she should want to do well but she's a teen (well almost) fgs. This motivated her to revise over half term rather than laze about.

I dont think anybody really needs a trampoline do they silly things

My DC are secondary age and I bung them £10 -£20 depending on how flush I am feeling for a good school report , its not a big deal more just to say treat yourself you've been working hard.

I dont tend to spoil them much so to me its a nice opportunity to do so, I dont think it has the slightest impact on how they work through the term.

My children dont get anything apart from a well done, etc. they work hard and get rewarded for stuff during the year etc.

Is it frowned upon to give a bad report in primary school?? Seen so many gushing my kid is wonderful great report type facebook posts ... But surely even if a child is a little shit its not as though the teacher can actually write that??

.... Just remembered ... When we go and see ice age 4. (sigh) i will tell the smalls that that is their good report present.

Kennyp Ice age 4 is fab i loved it

Primary schools cant give negative reports you are right but they have grades and levels on them

We had pizza and a DVD on Friday night to celebrate my three's good reports. I think I would draw the line at a trampoline though.

Lots of my school friends were given money by their parents for doing well, I always thought it was unfair that I didn't. I would have been minted!

Mrsjay its not about you can give a bad report with out writing anything bad its whats not said as oppse to what is said a child who is not well behaved and good mannered will not be likey to have that written on there report are they

And on parents evening i make a point to ask about his behaviour And to be fair i think most parents unless deluded know what type of child they have

My sisters boy stole matches from a teachers bag last term and almost burt down the libuary he is 10 she will not be expecting a good report

On the other hand my son is in the top ten in his year with postive points and has meet all but one of his targets i will be surpised if he gets a bad one.

It wouldn't cross my mind to buy something, but actually I think a meal out for hard work is lovely a family celebration, and an excuse to eat yummy not cooked at home food :-)

You have to wonder why they want a good report-for themselves or for their parents? I would hope that mine would want it for themselves and not a reward. It seems rather silly to get into the 'well I won't bother for £5 but I will do the work for £20'! What do you do if you know they worked really hard but it isn't very good?

When getting inquires from our eldest as to what his rewards might be for his A level results, (he had a lot of friends who were being promised cars or large amounts of money for A*)

I told him I would give him a hundred pounds for each one he failed, as it would be then he needed the most help,

He understood that he was doing these exams for himself, his results were spectacular all As and stars,(not bad for a child who really struggled with his dyslexia) he carried on the personal ethos into the uni environment, which is serving him really well.

I think it a huge mistake to have incentives, as they can start to not care if they get the reward or not, where is if they care passionately about the results as they want opportunities they bring, those motivations are far harder to dismiss when struggling to study.