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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think buying big rewards for school reports is unnecessary?

162 replies

Molehillmountain · 07/07/2012 20:33

Friend of ours has bought year one child a trampoline as a reward for a good end of year report. Didn't occur to me to do anything other than read report with child and say well done. Am I a meanie?

OP posts:

Mrbojangles1 · 08/07/2012 15:56

To be honest i hope its for himself but i will take him doing for a tenner

Weather hes being paid or doing it for god , himslef or me aslong as he is doing well at school thats what counts

I dont think richard bransons mum thinks ah all hes done counts for nothing because he was doing it for the foutune and not for the reward of just being brillant

seeker · 08/07/2012 15:58

Oh, you are a miserable lot! What's wrong with a bit of a celebration?

Mrbojangles1 · 08/07/2012 16:02

Ay way each to their own i think especially to in this day and age its important to lean you dont get somthing for nothing and
Good behaviour = reward because if by doing well gives you the same and doing f all sadly alot of children who would otherwise work hard might do f all

When i was younger i was given to reward or fuss waether i did well at school or not doing well is much harder that doing nothing so i did nothing

In my view alot of fuss, time and money is spent on badly behaved children in this culture

The fuss should be showered on children who do well we parise achivemnt

MrsSutherland · 08/07/2012 16:11

Ah well good behaviour is different to academic achievement - I would be more likely to give a reward for the good behaviour than how well they are doing.

I would probably give a financial or reasonable reward of some sort for GCSE/A level results.

My tactic with my parents was to do really badly in my mocks so they said they would give money for A, B or C results (less money for B, C than an A). I did really well and got all above C grades

HokeyCokeyPigInAPokey · 08/07/2012 16:13

Well mine are 6 and 9 and they have been to the ice cream parlour this afternoon and they could choose whatever they wanted.

A small reward for an academic year of excellent behaviour.

Trioofprinces · 08/07/2012 16:15

We have some sort of family treat to tell them we're proud of them, an that is based more on effort than achievement although they are both fairly high achievers anyway, it may be a meal out or a trip somewhere. Ours are 11 and 8 though so too young I think for big rewards. My mum will likely give them £5 each to say well done though.

We do reward school awards as they are quite hard to earn here, so a school award of any kind (not individual merits!) automatically means double pocket money that week.

exoticfruits · 08/07/2012 19:07

We have a celebration-that is very different from buying trampolines or handing out cash.

cocoachannel · 08/07/2012 19:16

My DD is only one so this is not an issue for us yet, however I did just buy myself a Garmin for getting a good year end appraisal!

AuntySib · 08/07/2012 19:20

Maybe she wanted him to have a trampoline and used this as the justification?
I try to follow a " presents only for birthdays and christmas policy" but if I wanted to buy them something big like a trampoline may well try to hang it on the back of good results!

piprabbit · 08/07/2012 19:27

I agree with AuntySib - DDs birthday is is November so all her presents are squashed into the middle of winter. Buying an outside/summer type treat might well come with a "we're so please with how you are getting on at school" justification.

Fluffy1234 · 08/07/2012 19:35

My brother and I both got big gifts for passing our 11plus many years ago. I gave my sons £100 for each level 5 they got in their year 6 SATs and will also reward them with £100 if they get any grade A's at GCSE.

valiumredhead · 08/07/2012 19:40

Ds has a reward for 'good efforts' rather than actual grades. This can be anything from something worth a fiver to a big thing like a trampoline depending on how flush we are at the time and what we were planning to buy anyway

exoticfruits · 08/07/2012 19:43

So what if your brother had passed the 11+ got a big gift and you failed? I think it is an appalling thing to do TO A CHILD. I am glad that my parents just said 'try your best' -I was hardly going to manage to pass because of a bribe!

If your DSs only want to get As to get £100 then they might as well leave school at 16yrs if they are only going to do it for money and to please mother.

exoticfruits · 08/07/2012 19:45

What if one son gets £300 and the other only gets level 4s-are you saying that you value the one with level 5 more?

valiumredhead · 08/07/2012 19:45

good effort random S

seeker · 08/07/2012 20:06

My children both got a present after the 11+- regardless of result because the process was a so appalling.

Dd recently did GCSEs. I bought her ticket for the Isle of Wight Festival, on the understanding that for every GCSE she gets that isn't an A, she has to give me 20 quid. She is predicted mostly As, with a possible Bs for chemistry and art,.so the chances are she's going to her ticket mostly paid for. But some of her friends are getting megabucks.

valiumredhead · 08/07/2012 20:08

I agree with seeker!

Oh sorry, force of habit

GetOrfMoiiLand · 08/07/2012 20:09

I used to think that monetary reward for GCSEs etc was a terrible idea.

But dd worked so damn hard and was so incredibly stressed by the exams that I am going to give her a wad of cash anyway, whatever her results are.

Choufleur · 08/07/2012 20:09

DS got a bug hunting kit - it cost a fiver

seeker · 08/07/2012 20:12

@Valium.

PrideOfChanur · 08/07/2012 20:55

This makes me come over all grumpy ,and I wander round the house muttering that no-one gave me anything except praise for my brill O level results,achievement is its own reward,mutter,mutter...

Actually we have it sorted in our house - DH doles out monetary rewards for good grades,and keeps it a secret from me.I always find out though - and get to use my favorite line from a film,admittedly a rather obscure comedy from years ago (Big Business,if anyone cares) - which is:
"you are paying our child to learn?!?"
Everyone is happy - sort of...

Lindax · 08/07/2012 21:13

at end of P2 ds got class maths prize and was very proud of himself. At the prize giving he was presented with a book - The Gruffalo. Is there a 6 yr old in the UK that doesn't have a copy of the Gruffalo? I could see his wee face falling when he was presented with it, but he took it with good grace.

As he was a bit deflated we got him some Beast Quest books he was after and he felt much better. Would do the same if it happens again as the school prizes are crap!

MrsHelsBels74 · 08/07/2012 21:17

I once worked with someone who apparently was paid £100 for every A grade GCSE they got.
I was jealous of a friend I was at school with who got £10 for every A... I didn't get anything material but having had parents who went through a very messy divorce midway through my GCSEs I was proud to have got the qualifications themselves.

clam · 08/07/2012 21:21

Good reports probably warrant a family meal out of their choice (which means we invariably have to stomach a trip to the Harvester!)

DS has worked extremely hard for his GCSEs. We have an iphone going spare (from an upgrade) so will pass it on to him rather than selling it on ebay, but before the results. It's not about how many As or A*s he gets, but the fact that he worked his socks off with little or no nagging from us.

ariadne1 · 08/07/2012 21:32

is there such a thing as a primary school report that is not good? i thought they had to put a positive spin on the worst no-hoper little shits performance?

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