To think if people are having a pay bar they should say so on invite?

[GlassofRose]

I'm going to a wedding next week and my partner is the best man. The couple have been a bit funny with partner this year being very pedantic over what he can and can't write in his speech to the point he told them to write it for them. He's also been in trouble with the bride for getting the groom drunk on his stag night (a whole month before the wedding). They also originally didn't invite me, then invited me to evening only (I'll be travelling up there the night before with my partner so would have been twiddling thumbs in hotel till evening) until my partner asked for me to be invited properly.

I asked my partner to ask if it was a pay bar or free bar as I just had an inkling these two are having a wedding they can't really afford although there was no mention of it on the invite. The reply he got from groom was "Of course it's a pay bar we're paying for the wedding...

Either way, Do you think if guests are expected to be paying for their own drink it should be mentioned on the invite?

HAHAHA

Oh MY Onion that really tickled me... but could you think of a response to your poem?

Really Milky?

The guest lists I've received have been from the Mrs Bouquet/Bucket types.

My cousin had everything from a washing machine to playstation games on the guest list for her second wedding. She has 3 children and a good job - cheeky bitch.

*gift list

not guest list lol

can't win on the gift list, we had one in the end, because guests were telling us how unreasonable we were to NOT have one and my mum was getting phonecalls asking did we have one yet and how else were people supposed to know what to get us

So we got one, and y'know what, the people who were most insistant that we get one ended up buying "off list"

meh!

I meant gift list too
Nope never! A washing machine :s
Thats even worse than a baby shower gift list if you ask me!

Are you still living in cockney lands glassof?

Glass it must be a regional thing - I'm a Cockney too and remember my dad being completely shocked the first time we went 'out of town' for a wedding and it was a pay bar. My dad was gobsmacked, he hadn't taken a lot of money with him as every wedding we'd been to had been an open bar.

I've been to about a dozen weddings. Two were pay bars, the rest were all open bars - including ours.

Erm dont tell me there are baby shower gift lists??? No waaaaay????

There are baby shower lists for sure!
I was a bit bemused when i had it emailed to me for one iam going to this month! With pictures and product numbers too....

Hello more cockney friends.. Agree it must be a regional thing!

Whats wrong with alfie ?
Hes soo lovely !

He's all your Milky!

I have never been to a 'paying bar' wedding so like you I would like to be told beforehand but then again I didn't grow up in this country. I didn't realise it was a British tradition. I would now assume it is a 'paying bar wedding'.

Milky thats nuts! Someone threw my friend a surprise one and I found her upstairs crying because she was so embarrassed everyone had had to buy presents, poor thing.

Seriously I really wouldn't go to one with a gift list. Thats beyond cheeky.

Glass has promised me an invite BUT then she said she wasn't getting married

Can I come to the Frat Wedding though?

how can you do gift list for your baby shower, when you aren't supposed to host your own baby shower? you have one if someone throws you one, and they communicate with the guests

Cor blimey guvnor theres more of us

I'm on the Cockney Essex borders

Haha [squoosh] ! I couldn't cope with Alfie Moon either, wears far too much war paint lately!

Onion - Partner comes from a catholic family and talks about getting married ALL the time. I fear I may have to compromise some how one day
But my online free bar includes

I don't get baby showers... do you have to buy another gift when baby is born?!

I think some people do host their own baby showers though (grabby and rude as it may seem!), there was a thread on here a little while ago where someone had.

Though I guess traditionally you wouldn't host your own wedding either, your parents would, but things change.

I'm from a Catholic family. Would you have a Catholic wedding as I would know all the prayers and then deserve my free bar.

"I don't get baby showers... do you have to buy another gift when baby is born?"

I would buy another, but I like baby shopping
Perhaps a practical gift at the shower then flowers after the baby arrives?
I've never been to one, usually I send flowers straight away when the baby is born then shop for a gift and post that over the next couple of weeks so guess it'ld just be the other way round if there was a baby shower?

I'm about to make myself sound even more of a wedding hater...
I don't "believe" and I really hate religious ceremonies when you don't believe! So I could never have a catholic wedding!

My DP might have to settle for exchanging pick n mix rings

They haven't taken off around here, if I had one with a gift list I would get short shrift I think, although we all buy each other nice presents for babies.

I would be annoyed as I love shopping for baby clothes and I would like to be told no get a bath or chair or something.

I guess like with weddings you don't have to stick to the list?

I don't mind lists so long as they are optional, One bride I knew had a honeymoon gift list, I'm not talking about the ones where you buy an activity or a dinner, I mean to pay for the honeymoon! she has spent everything on the wedding and calculated that if she had x amt of guests, and they all paid y each towards her honeymoon, she could go to Z, and told everyone that's where they were off to - she was majorly pissed when people got them john lewis vouchers etc instead!

no wait, I DO mind gift lists if they come with a poem! that way I'll buy off list on purpose!

I saw a thread when it had things on there like

Breakfast for two, coffee, overlooking the beautiful greek ocean - 20 Euro.

etc etc!

Looking for a poem for a baby shower now.

Ooooh YES there are some.

Baby wipes, teething rings, diapers galore,
onesies, bibs, books, blankets, binkies and more.
If each guest would bring just one of these
Our new mommy and baby would surely be pleased.
No need to wrap it, your name don't tell,
She'll find the essentials in her Wishing Well!!

Cheek beyond cheek:

One small request that won't be too hard
Please bring a book instead of a card
Whether Cat in the Hat or Winnie the Pooh
You can sign the inside cover with a note from you
Baby will become very smart, if my advice you do heed
If we begin early, he'll soon love to read

Well, I think the biggest problem with asking for money or to contribute towards honeymoon etc is the fact that it means you determining how much your guests spend.

If somebody gives you money they probably are not going to give you a tenner... yet they may have been able to buy you a really lovely gift for that amount. It almost forces some people to give more than they may be able to afford to so to save face or they may not give at all out of shock of the audacity.