To think if people are having a pay bar they should say so on invite?

[GlassofRose]

I'm going to a wedding next week and my partner is the best man. The couple have been a bit funny with partner this year being very pedantic over what he can and can't write in his speech to the point he told them to write it for them. He's also been in trouble with the bride for getting the groom drunk on his stag night (a whole month before the wedding). They also originally didn't invite me, then invited me to evening only (I'll be travelling up there the night before with my partner so would have been twiddling thumbs in hotel till evening) until my partner asked for me to be invited properly.

I asked my partner to ask if it was a pay bar or free bar as I just had an inkling these two are having a wedding they can't really afford although there was no mention of it on the invite. The reply he got from groom was "Of course it's a pay bar we're paying for the wedding...

Either way, Do you think if guests are expected to be paying for their own drink it should be mentioned on the invite?

Can I come? Sounds like my type of do.

I think that it is polite to give fair warning about all aspects of the wedding. For example if you were planning a whole day wedding but decided that for whatever reason you werent planning to give your guests anything to eat then it would be simple courtesy to tell them that and explain what provision was available in the vicinity.

Similarly if you arent planning to provide your guests with anything to drink then again it would be simple courtesy to tell them that and explain what provision was available in the vicinity.

It isnt compulsory to attend weddings if invited. We turned down the latest invitation (much to MiL's disgust) for many reasons including the little rhyme about requesting cash as a wedding gift.

Little rhymes about giving cash are my favourite i mean why dont they just write GIVE ME MONIES hahaha.
Iam invited to a travellers wedding next week not quite sure what to get as a present? The same family brought my DPs cousins some TEA TOWELS unwrapped as a gift for theirs 4 years ago and complained their wasnt enough bread & butter at their very expensive, 3 course meal, free bar wedding

You can never have enough tea towels i suppose!

Who gives people nothing at all to drink though? That is surely unusual?

You can never have too many tea towels. Why don't you get them one of those cats bum tea towel holders?

We're getting married in May
Our combined income would make you shout HEY?!
We have all that we need
In our home, so in greed
We'll ask for more cash anyway.

Wey hey.

AIBU?

P.S. BYO

MilkyMocha I know. Those rhymes about wanting money instead of a gift make me majorly cringe!

I'd never seen one until recently. My friend received one which had the little begging rhyme and then at the bottom. . . . . THEIR SORT CODE AND ACCOUNT NUMBER!

The poems are both sick, and wrong.

Ohh

I've never seen one of these rhymes!
What was the rhyme gnome?!

yes if someone has a rhyme please tell. Ive never seen one.

So what do you get
For the Bride and Groom
Whose house has things
In every room?

When shopping for a present
Please, don't be rash
As the option is there
to just give cash

We hope that you don't find
Our request to be funny
But the decision is yours
To buy a present, or just give money

Now you have the choice
Please do not fuss
the most important thing of all
Is that you come and celebrate with us!

We've been together a few years now;
We have pots and pans and linen and towels;
We have glasses and toasters, really quite a few;
So instead of more gifts, we suggest this to you;
If it doesn't offend and it won't send you running;
What we would really appreciate is quite simply money

The horror, the horror.

In a wedding invitation,
You usually find some lists,
For venues, menus and hotels,
And also for the gifts

But this one is unusual,
It comes in a different way,
As we're not asking for presents,
But for something else today

Now please don't think we're selfish,
Or that this comes from greed,
But we've lived together for a while,
So there's not that much we need

We would appreciate help though,
To send us on our way,
And allow us to have our honeymoon,
In a land quite far away

So now the point of all this rhyme,
The thing that we would like,
Isn't towels, toasters or microwaves,
But pounds and pence alike

And now you know the reason,
Behind this cheeky accord,
Please help to give us memories,
Of a dream honeymoon abroad

Urgh Pickle that one doesn't even rhyme

running/money I mean....

Well this is something we all agree on.

AWFUL!

I know! I got them off yahoo.

I hope you don't think me crass
To say shove your poem up your

Hahaha squoosh their account and sort code. Now THAT is cheeky.
Do the accept paypal?

My mother in law would die with embarrassment & then beat me all around the house if i did that!
I love the tea towel holder idea - iam cringing just imagining the phone calls whizzing around

My favourite is Vivi's lol

If an invitation I received had any sort of begging poem in it I wouldn't be attending!

If I sent out any type of begging letter I'm pretty sure my father would disown me!

Do the parents / relatives of B&G's who send out such poems not recoil in horror?

Its just daft the whole poem thing.

If your going to ask, just man it out and ask rather than try and soften it with a poem!

Maybe they should have put a poem in Glasses:

I know you would think
Ill buy you a drink
but times are hard
bring your visa card.

In my experience you give cash/vouchers if you cant think of anything nice to get the couple!
I have honestly never been to a wedding with a guest list. Ever.