Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not make ds's lunch

167 replies

biddysmama · 03/07/2012 10:07

he is 10 and in the mornings he has to get up,get ready for school and make his lunch to set off at 8.40, i wake him up at 7.15 every morning

he messes about getting ready,reads and sometimes comes down at 8.30 after ive been shouting etc to get him to come down

aibu not to make his lunch for him when he comes down late because he thinks i should

(i have 3 preschoolers aswell btw)

he goes to bed at 8pm so its not like he needs more sleep

OP posts:
Cockwomble · 03/07/2012 10:08

YANBU I made my own at that age

Original poster
biddysmama · 03/07/2012 10:08

forgot to add, making his lunch and keeping is room tidy(ish) are his only jobs

OP posts:
bagelmonkey · 03/07/2012 10:10

Maybe you could hand him a couple of slices of bread and an apple so he doesn't starve, but not a proper sandwich.

Molehillmountain · 03/07/2012 10:11

I wish my mother had been better at sticking to getting me to do jobs she'd asked me to. It wouldn't have hurt me to have missed out on a few things to learn consequences. If they learn to be organised early when they haven't the other pressures of earning money, looking after kids etc then they will be better off in the long run. Stick to your guns. You sound like a great mum.

Cockwomble · 03/07/2012 10:11

He won't starve if he misses a meal, and he might actually learn not to be so lazy.

Original poster
biddysmama · 03/07/2012 10:12

i wouldnt send him to school without a lunch btw but he might be late for school because i havent made it for him, drip feeding, sorry

OP posts:
TheOneWithTheHair · 03/07/2012 10:12

YANBU he has proved he is capable of doing it so there is no reason he shouldn't.

However he is probably in a minority at school and wants to be like his friends. You may need to sell the idea to him about how he will be more capable and independent than them. Try telling him that he has already mastered something they are going to have to learn and how great that is.

I think his attitude towards it may change if put in a positive light.

Onthebottomwithawomansweekly · 03/07/2012 10:13

How about getting him to make his lunch the night before and put it in the fridge?

I insisted on this with DD as she was exactly the same with the faffing around in the morning.

You will have to stand over him for a while months but eventually he will get pissed off with being treated like a little kid and will start doing it himself.

CwtchesAndCuddles · 03/07/2012 10:26

Get him to make it the night before - that should ease the pressure in the morning!

girlpancake · 03/07/2012 10:38

YANBU, but it would probably be better to not have this argument when you are against deadline. Get him to make it the night before and don't allow him to put the telly on to anything he likes until he has done so. If that means he's making tomorrow's sandwich at 3.30pm, then so be it.

Blueoctopus · 03/07/2012 10:40

Is this a joke thread? Surely no mother makes a primary age child make their own school lunch.
Its part of the job surely? Christ my mum still makes my brother's packed lunch and he's 25.

BoysBoysBoysAndMe · 03/07/2012 10:43

I absolutely agree on teaching independence.

But I wouldn't have let my ds go to school with no lunch. Not at ten. Think that's a bit harsh.

I'm assuming he took lunch?

akaemmafrost · 03/07/2012 10:44

He's 10! Make his lunch for him. Sheesh.

valiumredhead · 03/07/2012 10:45

At 10 I see it as my job to make ds's lunch - different at 13/14.

If you want to make him do it, insist he does it the night before. I think it's unrealistic to expect a 10 year old to do it in the morning.

ElephantsAndMiasmas · 03/07/2012 10:47

My colleague's mum still makes his lunch for him. He's 23. 10 is plenty big enough to make a full meal let alone a sandwich, get him to do it the night before and ease both your stress levels in the morning.

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 03/07/2012 10:48

I wouldnt be happy with my 9 year old DS going to school with no lunch....plus they would be ringing me up asking me to take some in for him.

Make his lunch, dont be a meanie!

ElephantsAndMiasmas · 03/07/2012 10:51

Do you think that's doing him any good blueoctopus?

3teenhell · 03/07/2012 10:52

i still do lunch for my 3, 12, 13 and 14.
They are capable of doing it, but i like knowing what they have taken Grin
At 10 i wouldn't have made them do it themselves

FluffyJawsOfDoom · 03/07/2012 10:55

I agree, get him to make ti the night before - that way you know he's doing it himself but you know he's not going hungry

BoysBoysBoysAndMe · 03/07/2012 11:00

I was a little undecided as i think its important to teach independance. Now I've thought about it I think YABU.

Make his lunch as mornings are not the time for extra stress. You know he has food, and he doesn't have to do it.

Give him another 'job' to do like bringing the washing in, taking the rubbish/recycling out, setting and clearing the table for dinner? Washing and hoovering the car-that would be a deal breaker for me

30smum · 03/07/2012 11:04

I make the sandwich as making mine too, then DS puts it and gets the fruit/cake/water together and puts in bag.

FormerlyTitledUntidy · 03/07/2012 11:04

Op has said she does not send him with no lunch, just her ds is late because then he has to make it when he should be gone.

Yanbu. A sandwich and fruit is not too much for a ten year old

saltyair · 03/07/2012 11:07

I was expected to make my own lunch at 10ish. If I didn't, Dad would make me what he was having.

What he was having was corned beef sandwiches.

I hated corned beef.

I soon learned to make my own lunch.what, incidentally, do they do to beef to make it do that? All manner of wrong......

cmt1375 · 03/07/2012 11:08

I think making his own lunch at 10 is very reasnable. As long as he dosen't get in your way sorting out the other children.
I imagine most of his lunch can just be grabbed, fruit, yoghurt, crisps, biscuits or whatever and it is just his sandwhich that needs making, you could encourage him to do it the night before. If he leaves it too late and you decide to do his lunch for him (although occasionally it would be fine to just send him with what he could grab) then I would be making him do jobs later to make up for it, probably jobs instead of screen time and taking up twice as long, eg emptying dishwasher, hoovering.

Spuddybean · 03/07/2012 11:13

Seriously? 10 year old's at primary school expected to make their own lunch? No one at my primary or secondary school made their own lunch (and i was seriously neglected).

Is that the norm in his class/now then?