to not make ds's lunch

[biddysmama]

he is 10 and in the mornings he has to get up,get ready for school and make his lunch to set off at 8.40, i wake him up at 7.15 every morning

he messes about getting ready,reads and sometimes comes down at 8.30 after ive been shouting etc to get him to come down

aibu not to make his lunch for him when he comes down late because he thinks i should

(i have 3 preschoolers aswell btw)

he goes to bed at 8pm so its not like he needs more sleep

Mmmm wild zebra.

10 yr is old enough to make start though isn't it? If mil had started with butties at 10 or 11 maybe by the age of 24 he would have learn't the rest.

This is my plan anyhow; ds (13) is very resistant to taking on household tasks, so we introduce them gradually. At the moment it's lunch, hoovering, room tidying and putting clothes away, sometimes dishes, little does he know we're planning on laundry soon. he he he

i think it depends on the child. I was never 'taught' how to wash clothes, never 'taught' how to cook, never made my own lunch etc.

But when i moved out at 16, I was able to cook xmas dinner for my boyfriends family - by reading a recipe, i was also able to look at the front of a washing machine and work out what setting things should be on etc.

However, i do know people who unless they have been specifically shown something feel they cannot do it. But really how hard are these things to work out for yourself, without having to be 'prepared' from the age of 10 for the arduous life skill that is cooking and cleaning. Or maybe i'm some kind of genius.

I left home at 17 and pretty much did the same as you spuddy.

It's like banging your head against a bloody brick wall around here today.

Would you like a crash helmet , cock?

It is not about knowing how to make a lunch imo but the responsibility of doing it every day and learning that if you get up late=you don't have time to make lunch=you go with no lunch. So to me it is about learning good habits and time management.
You can learn cooking and washing at 20 or 25 but it is hard to shake bad habits.

I had an ex who's mum did everything for him until he was 20. He learnt how to cook and wash but he always forgot to buy oil or washing powder, he couldn't budget, and he used to drive me mad with the alarm, he forgot to set it up for work or for job interviews! After that he would panic and cry.

I had an old BF that had a massive row with me because I could not comprehend how he didn't know what 'browning' meant in cooking terms. Guy was a super intelligent computer genius. Takes all sorts.

Would you like a parenting manual usual?

I left home at 18 and pretty much just read the washing machine instructions, did the washing in colours or in whites/pastels and learnt how to cook thanks to cookbooks but i suppose some young people need practical guidance along the way.
I think around 12 a child should be helping out somewhat

oooh that was below the belt, bit late for the manual though mine have all grown up.

Tbh a parent is there to do just that 'parent', a 10yo imo and in most my rl friend opinions is too young to start being made soley responsible for making their own lunch/dinner/washing/cleaning/ironing etc but in Ops defence she is only expecting her ds to make his lunch nothing else-so op i think you are doing a pretty good job tbf.
But people on here going on about kids cooking dinner, laundry etc....let your children be children

A thread about ds's s/w turns into competitive parenting

Only on MN

So its ok for your son to be late for school, then? He might not be a morning person and takes a long time to get ready even at 10. Work with him as other suggested like do it the night before.

Do you not have any sense of flexibility?

i love when people who have no children come and tell parents how to parent, and then get angry when they don't agree with them

thisisyesterday, who said they weren't a parent?

Who has no children?

cockwomble

I make my 13 and 10 year olds lunch. Mornings are stressful enough without waiting and nagging them to do a packed lunch for themselves. They both can and do cook when they are not at school so making a packed lunch is not an issue about teaching independance as far as I am concerned.

You are an adult for a very long time! Plenty of time to learn independence imo!

If you really must make him do his own then make it the night before and keep it in the fridge.

Nothing wrong with a 10 year old making his own lunch, but it is blindingly obvious that if he struggles to be ready/ procrastinates in the morning he should make it the night before, maybe while his parent is cooking dinner so there is an adult to make sure it's getting done and something sensible is going in it? my 6 year old COULD make her own sandwiches relatively easily and does make sandwiches from time to time, I don't ask her to make her own yet but I think it's a reasonable task to hand over by age 10! Gives him some say over what's in it too, to look at the positive side (for him) as well as "teaching" / reminding him that these things don't happen by magic!

I work many hours an have a live in maid. I am lucky but even if I did not have those supports I am not sure would make him make his own lunch. I was that kid.

What is browning ??

And I love the an Old BF guess why !! Sorry cock I know on another thread we have had a moment but on here

I make the sandwiches for my girls aged 10, 9 and 6. But they get the rest together, they know exactly wot choice of foods they are allowed and even the 6 year old is capable of packing it correctly so tanning.