to not make ds's lunch

[biddysmama]

he is 10 and in the mornings he has to get up,get ready for school and make his lunch to set off at 8.40, i wake him up at 7.15 every morning

he messes about getting ready,reads and sometimes comes down at 8.30 after ive been shouting etc to get him to come down

aibu not to make his lunch for him when he comes down late because he thinks i should

(i have 3 preschoolers aswell btw)

he goes to bed at 8pm so its not like he needs more sleep

I wouldn't make him do his own lunch in the mornings. I totally agree with him doing it himself, but (if our mornings are anything to go by) there's too many other things going on.

Either do it the night before and put it in the fridge, or another job he can do when there's more time and less pressure to be somewhere on time

Blueoctopus, I realise it is probably an arrangement that serves them both well and they are perfectly entitled to keep that arrangement going for as long as they like. My word choice of pathetic was my instant reaction of hearing of a 25 year old not making their own lunch. It just reeks of an unequal relationship where the woman is at the service of the men in the household. This may or may not be the case in your mother/brother/father's household, AND they may be perfectly happy with however they have divvied up the chores. Each to their own, but it wouldn't be an arrangement for me and my sons.

I think that while striving for more equality in a household is difficult enough, having everybody make their own lunches is a relatively simple thing to do. So when it comes to picking a battle, this one is an easy win really.

"My word choice of pathetic was my instant reaction of hearing of a 25 year old not making their own lunch. It just reeks of an unequal relationship where the woman is at the service of the men in the household."
Or a loving Mother/Wife who Son/Husband or whatever does things for her.

Crikey, DD is 7 and most mornings she makes her own lunch. She wants to, she chooses healthy options and I'm happy to let her do so.

She often comes in from school and fixes herself a snack before dinner too.

OP, I'd suggest he makes his lunch the night before, then there will be less stress in the mornings.

I made my childrens lunches, they seem to be able to manage their own households now they have all grown up.

They don't ask me to nip round every day to make their lunch anyway

My mum made my lunches, i know how to make sandwiches, birthday cakes, lots of cuisines, know how to use a washing machine, how to fix stuff etc, but i don't think a child should have to worry about this at the age of 10, they will grow up when they need to

Great imnotmymum, your partial quote of my post takes it out of context. It was followed by:

"This may or may not be the case in your mother/brother/father's household, AND they may be perfectly happy with however they have divvied up the chores."

Which was your point and mine too.

Pumpkin When would you teach them the things they need to know, like the cooking/washing etc etc if they should do nothing until 16? Is it that you then teach them when they reach that age?

But isn't part of parenting teaching them to take care of themselves? And isn't being able to feed yourself properly a part of that?

I can understand the view that childen are only little for a short while, but I also remember how proud I was as a child that, by being able to cook, make tea, wash and dry up, etc, I was able to take care of myself.

That's probably why my grownup children have always had the burden of housemates who can't tackle basic houshold chores and don't know how to cook. Because Mummy did it all

Laura, my DNeice had that experience when she first went to university. Sharing with people would could barely use a toaster, and NEVER cleaned. She moved out in the end, because there was so much stress and nastiness at home that she could never relax.

I never taught mine how to wash up etc its not exactly hard is it?

Then why do so many struggle at uni with how to clean / cook / hoover / use a washing machine?

No idea,mine all seemed to manage it when they left home without me giving them washing up and cleaning lessons

I really don't understand why you wouldn't teach your children how to take care of themselves in the most basic way. It's one thing having kids as kids and keeping them chore free until 16, then teach them the basics, but not at all? Staggering.

In fact my DDs house puts mine to shame

Hmm....my DH can now cook and use a washing machine and knows how to clean properly.

Do you know why? Because I taught him as his parents didn't bother.

If a child shows an interest in doing stuff then i don't see a problem, but to make the child do lunch/dinner as a chore, i think is wrong.

He didn't even know you are supposed to separate laundry!

Tidying their rooms, get plates out, make the odd squash drink for themselves and help hang washing out is all mine do and they are all under 9yo

I'm not talking about my DS, he taught himself to cook

I'm talking about My DDs , should I have given them lessons in how to be a good housewife?

I think it was the point that striving for equality made me think you had a problem with male/female roles. I do not feel I strive for equality with my DH DS and I make their sandwiches. Sorry

Sorting out laundry is obvious as is using a washing machine, most men pretend they cant use/do it so they don't have to do it

*I'm not talking about my DS, he taught himself to cook

I'm talking about My DDs , should I have given them lessons in how to be a good housewife?*

Is that aimed at me?

I have talked in a general way about life skills. So there's no need to teach our DC how to cook, clean, do their own laundry and take care of themselves and run their own households?