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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not chase after the fucking dog

294 replies

paradisechick · 03/07/2012 10:03

We have a little west highland terrier. He's 3 and a bit of a pain in the arse. I wasn't keen on the whole dog thing but DH convinced me. It's an escape artist. Since I've been on maternity leave (14 weeks) I've had to search for him no less than 7 fucking times. Once when I was a week of my date he got out of the garden, across the fields and some kind person had him in their garden.

3 weeks ago he got out and was in the field opposite, I had to leg it halfway across said field to get him whilst the baby was sleeping.

Last week I realised he was missing just as I was heading out. Cue a wasted hour driving round the town until somene called me (his number is on my collar) and I went to meet the man to get the dog back. He was really pissed off and shouty at me.

So, my DH assures me he's made sure the garden is secure (again) and this morning I'm hanging out the washing. Dog with me. I came in to make up bottles then went to get the dog in before I sit down for 10 minutes. He's gone.

Baby sleeping, we've got plans today and I don't know what the fuck to do.

The dog obviously doesn't want to live with us. I phoned DH, he swore at me, like it's my fault for leaving the dog outside. DH never walks the dog (as was agreed) so it's not wonder the little shit takes itself out for a run. I didn't want a dog. Why do I have to spend my days running after it?! DH is working only about 5 miles away.

Would it be unreasonable for me to get on with my day as planned, if someone phones saying they've got him I'll pass the number onto DH. Or do I put the sleeping baby in the car and spend another day looking for him?

OP posts:
CailinDana · 03/07/2012 10:05

What a ridiculous situation. Rehome that poor dog, fast, before he gets run over. Your DH sounds charming.

Original poster
paradisechick · 03/07/2012 10:07

He's being a total prick because I dared phone him at work.

OP posts:
Catsmamma · 03/07/2012 10:08

How about making the garden properly secure, and teaching the dog some recall.

thisisyesterday · 03/07/2012 10:11

agree with cailin. rehome him so he can live with someone who does actually want a dog.

you do need to take some responsibility. your DH may have talked you into it, but ultimately you agreed and it isn't the dog's fault that you don't want it. do you not walk it at all? even though you're at home during the day?

maybe if you walked it in the day and he walked it in the evening it would be ok?

and really, how hard can it be to dog-proof the garden? watch the dog, find out where he is escaping and block the hole.

you are both being really silly.

EdgarAllenPimms · 03/07/2012 10:12

none of this is the dogs fault is it?

people shouldn't get dogs when both sides aren't committed.

you garden isn't secure - it should be. that would solve the running-away problem.

using sausage or whatever treat he likes might make him more likely to come back...

wannabedomesticgoddess · 03/07/2012 10:13

We took in a collie a few months ago, she had no training, didnt even know her own name and was an escape artist. She escaped from our first garden that our other collie couldnt escape from. Then she chewed through her lead at the beach and DP had to chase her in the car for 3 miles (she was running at 30 mph) and then rugby tackle her to catch her.

Then we moved house and the garden has an 8ft fence. So we thought great. She will never get over that. After 15 mins she took one look at the fence and cleared it in one.

We had to get her rehomed :(

LineRunner · 03/07/2012 10:13

This can't go on.

You need to tell your DH that. 'This can't go on. Either you walk the poor thing, give it some attention and look after it, or we really need to re-home it.'

As for today, I do think you need to try to find it for a while - to be honest you have a legal obligation regarding your pet's welfare - and from now on keep him inside or on a long leash till you decide what to do.

Original poster
paradisechick · 03/07/2012 10:14

Everytime he gets out dh checks the garden, blocks up another hole and tells me its ok. The dog has good recall for dh. Completely ignores me. When dh walks him its off the lead and he's fine. The dog won't even walk on whe lead properly for me and gets caught up in pram wheels etc. Its a complete nightmare for me to walk him.

OP posts:
Paiviaso · 03/07/2012 10:14

I agree that the situation isn't good as it stands. I don't blame you if you don't go looking for the dog, but do tell your DH he is missing and you expect him to deal with it.

Your DH should be taking care of the dog. In your situation this includes: walking it, training it (recall, heel, etc), providing an properly enclosed garden.

The dog sounds bored.

McKayz · 03/07/2012 10:16

That poor dog. You should really consider re-homing the dog if it doesn't get walked.

Of course you need to go and look for it.

thisisyesterday · 03/07/2012 10:17

sorry but the dog deserves a walk even if you find it hard.
if you can't walk it with the pram then put the baby in a sling.

you should also bear in mind that if your dog causes an accident on the road YOU will be responsible and liable for any costs

thisisyesterday · 03/07/2012 10:17

I would imagine some wire netting fitted all around the bottom of the garden would keep the dog in.

Paiviaso · 03/07/2012 10:18

Ah I see he has trained it, but it only has been trained to him.

I think your DH really should be helping you build a relationship with this dog, show you how to get him to listen to you, etc. You will start to like the dog a lot more when you figure out how to interact with it correctly.

In the mean time he really really needs to sort the fence.

NickNacks · 03/07/2012 10:19

Lol @ 'his number is on my collar'

Sorry!

MothershipG · 03/07/2012 10:20

You got a terrier (the clue is in the name - West Highland White Terrier) and now you're complaining because he is acting like a (bored, under-exercised) terrier? Hmm

So yes, not looking for him would not only be unreasonble it would also be irresponsible. You are a grown up, the dog is your responsibility so you need to find him before he is hurt or causes an accident in which other people may get hurt.

And then you need to hand him over to a good rescue, like Dog's Trust, who will find him a home where he is treated properly. Angry

WorraLiberty · 03/07/2012 10:20

Mend your fence yourself

Then re-home the poor dog before he gets run over or even worse, causes a multiple traffic pile up.

It's not rocket science.

QueenofJacksDreams · 03/07/2012 10:22

He's a terrier he needs exercise or this is just going to happen all the more often. Once a day will not be enough you need to be walking him too after all you too agreed to get the dog. He's never going to learn to walk properly with you unless you put some time and effort in with him.

Dogs aren't dumb you're probably giving off some stay away from me vibes so he's doing what you want and staying away.

Rehome the poor little guy if you can't be arsed to make the effort and don't bother with another one in the future.

Original poster
paradisechick · 03/07/2012 10:22

In what way is the dog getting under my feet when walking with the baby in a sling preferable to it getting caught up in the pram wheels?

OP posts:
RationalBrain · 03/07/2012 10:23

Yabu, your dog, take some responsibility. And give your DH a kick up the bum too.

EdgarAllenPimms · 03/07/2012 10:23

wanna some collies do that. ours did. a Westie wouldn't be able to...

thisisyesterday · 03/07/2012 10:24

oooh get you!

i was offering a possible alternative when you mentioned it was hard to walk the dog with the pram

i guess you just wanted us all to say "yeah stupid dog. leave it out there to die" and then offer you a cuppa?

plenty of people have dogs and babies and manage to walk them.

JeffTracy · 03/07/2012 10:24

YANBU. Rehome both of them.

QueenofJacksDreams · 03/07/2012 10:25

You've made it plainly obvious you couldn't give less of a damn about the poor dog, rehome sooner rather than later for the dogs sake and for fucks sake don't do this again with any animal in a couple of years time as its obvious you can't be bothered to sort out any problems.

DanyTargaryen · 03/07/2012 10:26

The bloke who found your dog had a go at you? Charming!

3boysandagirl · 03/07/2012 10:26

The dog needs rehoming. In the meantime tether it, our terrier was a pita and used to constantly run off. So that's what we had to do.
We had a really thin chain that was long so she couldn't chew through it. She's not so bad now. If we go out for the day our dogs have a large pen they go in so they're not stuck in the house. It has a roof on because she didn't squeeze out of holes to get out, she could jump over the fence.

My main concern when our dog used to run off, was the potential accident they could cause. I know you didn't want the dog but ultimately you agreed to getting it.