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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not chase after the fucking dog

294 replies

paradisechick · 03/07/2012 10:03

We have a little west highland terrier. He's 3 and a bit of a pain in the arse. I wasn't keen on the whole dog thing but DH convinced me. It's an escape artist. Since I've been on maternity leave (14 weeks) I've had to search for him no less than 7 fucking times. Once when I was a week of my date he got out of the garden, across the fields and some kind person had him in their garden.

3 weeks ago he got out and was in the field opposite, I had to leg it halfway across said field to get him whilst the baby was sleeping.

Last week I realised he was missing just as I was heading out. Cue a wasted hour driving round the town until somene called me (his number is on my collar) and I went to meet the man to get the dog back. He was really pissed off and shouty at me.

So, my DH assures me he's made sure the garden is secure (again) and this morning I'm hanging out the washing. Dog with me. I came in to make up bottles then went to get the dog in before I sit down for 10 minutes. He's gone.

Baby sleeping, we've got plans today and I don't know what the fuck to do.

The dog obviously doesn't want to live with us. I phoned DH, he swore at me, like it's my fault for leaving the dog outside. DH never walks the dog (as was agreed) so it's not wonder the little shit takes itself out for a run. I didn't want a dog. Why do I have to spend my days running after it?! DH is working only about 5 miles away.

Would it be unreasonable for me to get on with my day as planned, if someone phones saying they've got him I'll pass the number onto DH. Or do I put the sleeping baby in the car and spend another day looking for him?

OP posts:
Minkymum · 03/07/2012 11:30

Shullbit - a dog is not a child. It's very, very different. Op -I would definitely rehome the dog. Bearing in mind you have a very young baby, Westies can get a bit nippy anyway without very firm handling and it sounds like you have neither the will or the time to address this. Good luck with your husband though!

QuickLookBusy · 03/07/2012 11:31

Minky good point. If the dog won't listen to you now, it really isn't safe to have in the house with a toddler.

Vicky2011 · 03/07/2012 11:32

OP just go find the dog and then take him to a re homing centre. He's not right for your family. If your husband was that bothered he would secure the garden and walk the poor thing.

pinkappleby · 03/07/2012 11:33

Glad you got the dog. The way you feel is understandable. Can you throw money at the situation? To refence and get a dog walker in?

Shullbit · 03/07/2012 11:34

WTF?? How is it very very different? BOTH are living things. BOTH would suffer pain. BOTH could cause accidents resulting in other humans (considering, I am assuming, that is all that matters here) even dying or seriously injured.

So, how is the danger here ANY different?

LemarchandsBox · 03/07/2012 11:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GrahamTribe · 03/07/2012 11:34

Minky and QuickLookBusy that's absolute rubbish, there's no evidence to support those damaging allegations at all.

Original poster
paradisechick · 03/07/2012 11:36

I think I'm angrier at my husband and project that verbally on here towards the dog. I don't dislike the dog. Like I said before I'm just not a dog person.

Dh won't take me seriously though and my oldest son adores the dog. I'd be the biggest cow ever if I got rid of him.

OP posts:
Original poster
paradisechick · 03/07/2012 11:38

And I suppose it is irrational to be angry at my husband when the dog escapes when he's at work.

OP posts:
Mibby · 03/07/2012 11:38

Roughly where are you OP? you may find someone on here who could help with walking him

GrahamTribe · 03/07/2012 11:39

And what would you be if you allowed the poor creature to die in acute agony under the wheels of a car next time he escaped out of boredom, Paradisechick? Trust me, your child adoring the dog is no reason in all humanity to refrain from rehoming a dog you neither want nor are willing to care for properly. To do so would just be incredibly selfish and putting a kid's wants before another living creature's needs.

WorraLiberty · 03/07/2012 11:39

If your oldest son adores the dog, that's even more reason to look after it surely?

Not only that, but you'r not setting a great example to him regarding animal care.

NorksAreMessy · 03/07/2012 11:40

paradise have PMed you

olgaga · 03/07/2012 11:43

I wasn't keen on the whole dog thing but DH convinced me.

Big mistake! His mistake was to enrol you in dog ownership against your will, yours was agreeing to it in the first place. Tell your DH it was a mistake and that the dog has to go.

If he refuses, it's up to him to care for the dog. He needs to make sure it can't get out of the garden, and has somewhere warm and dry to sleep out there. Let him deal with it. Get the dog a new collar tag and put your DH's work number on it instead of yours.

QuickLookBusy · 03/07/2012 11:44

Graham, I was agreeing to the point that if the dog will not listen to the OP now and she doesn't have the time or inclination to train it, the situation will get worse when the baby gets more mobile. It is a very valid point.

olgaga · 03/07/2012 11:45

I agree with Quick - untrained, disobedient terriers and babies/toddlers aren't a wise mix.

Original poster
paradisechick · 03/07/2012 11:48

I don't need help walking. Despite the problems walking him on the lead I could just deal with it.

I suppose the dog just highlights the bigger issue of me picking up the slack from my husband again. That its falling to me when I feel it shouldn't. The dog gets a couple of walks at the weekend as a family with dh letting him off the lead. His recall is great with dh. Dh convinced me that he didn't need a lot of walking as he's small and has the run of the garden.

That's obviously bull and the dog can't have the run of the garden as he runs.

So my dh doesn't walk the dog daily.

I've always been a bit hands off with the dog. But it looks like I'm either going to have to get hands on, carry on like this or re home.

OP posts:
Spero · 03/07/2012 11:49

Well done dog lovers! Another poster in tears after you all pile in with your hyperbolic ranting.

Sad, because I know you love dogs and all but you undoubtedly do more harm than good by attempting to terrorise anyone who doesn't fit into your utterly unrealistic world view with dogs at the very top of the pyramid of human concerns.

VolAuVent · 03/07/2012 11:49

"And I suppose it is irrational to be angry at my husband when the dog escapes when he's at work."

Not at all, if it escapes because your DH hasn't made the garden secure.

Shullbit · 03/07/2012 11:50

No, not necessarily. Just because the dog currently doesn't listen to the OP, does not mean the dog will be a threat to the child.

There was a family dog (not one I saw often) who wouldn't do as it was told, but was so careful around children. Even would sleep in front of the moses basket when there was a baby in there. It was as soft as anything around any child.

MothershipG · 03/07/2012 11:50

Paradise It's not irrational to be angry at your OH, he hasn't lived up to his promises or responsibilities but are you prepared to take them on???

Because if you are not than it doesn't matter how much your DS loves the dog it's not fair to you, or the dog, to keep him.

You have to be really honest with yourself, if you can't, or won't, walk and train the dog and make sure the garden is secure then in all conscience the only responsible decision is to rehome.

Original poster
paradisechick · 03/07/2012 11:50

I'm not worried about the dog and baby. He isn't out of control or crazy or disobedient. He just won't come to me outside or walk well on the lead. He's very calm in the house.

OP posts:
Minkymum · 03/07/2012 11:52

Shulbit - What if it was a child we was talking about? DH wanted one, OP wasn't sure. He talked her into it. Then when child arrives, is a bit older, the child keeps running off but on one occasion, the OP comes online to say she has had enough, doesn't give a shit, ringing the husband to basically say "This is your fault" Sigh. What has this got to do with the price of fish? As I said, a dog is not a child. Drawing a comparision is daft.

olgaga · 03/07/2012 11:53

Spero good point.

OP, it sounds like you have more than enough on your plate without having to support your DH's half-hearted dog ownership.

Get the dog rehomed.

QuickLookBusy · 03/07/2012 11:53

Shullbit you think a dog that wouldn't do as it was told is ok to be around children?? How ridiculous.