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AIBU?

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Original poster

To not chase after the fucking dog

294 replies

paradisechick · 03/07/2012 10:03

We have a little west highland terrier. He's 3 and a bit of a pain in the arse. I wasn't keen on the whole dog thing but DH convinced me. It's an escape artist. Since I've been on maternity leave (14 weeks) I've had to search for him no less than 7 fucking times. Once when I was a week of my date he got out of the garden, across the fields and some kind person had him in their garden.

3 weeks ago he got out and was in the field opposite, I had to leg it halfway across said field to get him whilst the baby was sleeping.

Last week I realised he was missing just as I was heading out. Cue a wasted hour driving round the town until somene called me (his number is on my collar) and I went to meet the man to get the dog back. He was really pissed off and shouty at me.

So, my DH assures me he's made sure the garden is secure (again) and this morning I'm hanging out the washing. Dog with me. I came in to make up bottles then went to get the dog in before I sit down for 10 minutes. He's gone.

Baby sleeping, we've got plans today and I don't know what the fuck to do.

The dog obviously doesn't want to live with us. I phoned DH, he swore at me, like it's my fault for leaving the dog outside. DH never walks the dog (as was agreed) so it's not wonder the little shit takes itself out for a run. I didn't want a dog. Why do I have to spend my days running after it?! DH is working only about 5 miles away.

Would it be unreasonable for me to get on with my day as planned, if someone phones saying they've got him I'll pass the number onto DH. Or do I put the sleeping baby in the car and spend another day looking for him?

OP posts:
Original poster
paradisechick · 03/07/2012 10:46

He's always been prone to it. It's just impacting on me more because I'm home full time now. He'll be ok for a while then start again.

There's lots of things I could and should do. I'm not a total bitch.

OP posts:
MidnightKnitter · 03/07/2012 10:46

Has he been neutered ? If not get him done it won't solve the problem but it may help.. I feel your pain I lived with my mum and her epileptic dog when Ds was first born, Every time she had a seizure she wet herself and i had to clean it up. Then she'd be all post ictal (sp) and need watching. On more than one occasion she had 6 or 7 in a day but she wasn't my dog so i couldn't get her put down it was horrific. Having a tiny baby at the same time just made it even worse.

WorraLiberty · 03/07/2012 10:47

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pinkpyjamas · 03/07/2012 10:48

I think the OP is probably just fed up of having to bear the brunt of her husband's lack of respect for her.
If I contacted my OH at work with a problem and he swore at me, both he and the dog would find their belongings on the doorstep, frankly. They'd both get a good long walk then.

QueenofJacksDreams · 03/07/2012 10:49

Yet more abuse for the OP on a dog thread, how nice and how sadly predictable. She's not an irresponsible idiot, she's a new mum who's struggling FFS.

Oh sorry I do apologise - MESSAGE TO ALL NEW MUMS FORGET YOUR RESPONSIBILTIES YOU ARE A MUM YOU NO LONGER NEED TO BOTHER.

FFS. Dog was there first agreed to before the baby arrives, you don't just stop cleaning your home or caring for your other children because theres a new baby do you? Shes admitted she doesn't give a shit about the dog and is happy to sit on her arse here while the dog potentially causes a very nasty accident.

TantrumsAndBalloons · 03/07/2012 10:49

In all fairness it is incredibly irresponsible to get a dog knowing you don't want one, and knowing you don't give a shit about it.

It's irresponsible to not train the dog and then wonder why it doesn't walk on a lead properly.

If people actually thought about how much effort and time it takes to be a dog owner, then maybe there would not be so many abandoned dogs.

McKayz · 03/07/2012 10:49

MrsMcEnroe New mum here with a very very young baby and a husband who is currently in Africa. I can manage to walk my dog. It is very very simple.

The OP couldn't give a shit. I just hope that poor little dog doesn't get run over and that they find it a new home.

Blistory · 03/07/2012 10:49

Okay, ignore my earlier post then if you genuinely don't want the dog but please please go and find him.

Dog pounds can and do destroy healthy animals after 7 days.
There is a real problem with dog baiting - you might not like the dog but how would you feel if he was picked up by one of these groups and torn to shreds in a dog fight.
Dogs on the road can cause horrific accidents. Can you bear to think of this ?

Go and find him please

LemarchandsBox · 03/07/2012 10:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LentillyFart · 03/07/2012 10:49

Ummm helllooooooo ffs - who gives a shiny shite if the OP is pissed at her husband or anyone else for that matter. There is a living creature bearing the brunt of that. Not right and not excusable.

MothershipG · 03/07/2012 10:51

The OP has clearly stated that she doesn't give a shit about the dog and won't even walk it, so she's hardly about to follow any of the helpful suggestions that have been made.

She may be a new mum who is struggling but that doesn't not absolve her from her responsibilities to the dog. She is being irresponsible so how can she be surprised when that is pointed out to her? Hmm

sesameflower · 03/07/2012 10:52

Rehome the dog. Its not right. You don't like the dog. Your H is not caring for the dog. Dog is probably trying to rehome himself.

sparkle12mar08 · 03/07/2012 10:55

Find the dog and rehome it, quick smart. FWIW I totally sympathise on not really caring about the dog, I'm not a doggy person either, but given that the dog is currently part of your household then you are responsible for it and you must treat it humanely. That means either rehoming it or having it PTS properly - you obviously don't want it so you have to sit down with your husband and talk about this. You cannot leave it to run wild putting itself and other people in danger (traffic accidents etc).

Merrylegs · 03/07/2012 10:55

I don't think the dog is trying to rehome himself. I think there is just something very interesting to the dog outside of the garden. OP you say he is OK for a while and then it starts again. 10 to 1 there is a bitch in season somewhere across the fields.

GrahamTribe · 03/07/2012 10:55

What a shamefully self-indulgent, selfish, heartless story. I'm truly disgusted by your attitude paradisechick and I hope for the dog's sake that you have the decency to hand him over to a responsible rescue who will find him someone who actually gives a shit about him and that you'll take financial responsibility for his upkeep by providing the rescue with a standing order until he's found a permanent home. It's the least you can do.

TheEnthusiasticTroll · 03/07/2012 10:56

maybe the Dh was just a little upset at the lack of responsibility or emphathy for the dog she is showing.

Maybe OP said yes sure lets get a dog and he is getting pissed at the lack of effort that she is putting in and blaming him the dog has gone missing when in fact this doesnt happen on his watch so he is a little frustrated that she is not caring for the dog well.

thisisyesterday · 03/07/2012 10:56

i would have him if you're in the south-east! Grin

Shullbit · 03/07/2012 10:57

You are hardly going to know where the dog is sat on here.

The other week, I was driving to pick my DS up from school as he had fell ill. I had my baby in the car, going along at 30mph and all of a sudden, a dog bolted from an alley and into the road in front of my car. I slammed my brakes on, missing the dog by centimetres. If I hadn't of been aware, and noticed the dog, the dog could be dead now and me and my baby could of been seriously injured.

Whether you want the dog or not, if the above happened due to your dog being on the loose, would you still think "Not my fault. I didn't want the dog. Couldn't care less about it." or would you feel unbelievably guilty for not at least trying to find the dog before anything terrible could happen?

Go out, try find it, bring it home and regime it pronto.

You seem to be taking this out on the poor dog. It isn't the dogs fault. It has no understanding like us and they rely on us to look after them.

WorraLiberty · 03/07/2012 10:57

I take it anyone who thinks the 'poor OP' shouldn't go and look for the dog is also just fine with drunk drivers?

Given the fact one is just as likely to cause injury/death on the roads as the other is?

TheCunningStunt · 03/07/2012 10:58

Mkaysz it's not a contest though, who has it tougher and still walks the dog. I think the op gets the point that she shouldn't have the dog. However OP you do owe the dog care, whilst it is yours and you should go and find it and rehome it ASAP if you don't plan to ever get a decent fence or train it. Goodluck

PeanutButterCupCake · 03/07/2012 10:58

You say in your opening post DH Convinced you to get the dog, so you did agree to it and need to face up to your responsibilities and go find the dog!

Poor dog you both bring it into your family and now "don't give a shit"

Nice Hmm

WorraLiberty · 03/07/2012 10:59

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FerrisBueller1972 · 03/07/2012 10:59

Lentilly back off ffs. She didn't want the dog, husband isn't doing what he promised after persuading her to agree to getting a dog. She's got a new baby and the dog keeps escaping due her HUSBAND's ineptness at diy repair work on a fence.

TheEnthusiasticTroll · 03/07/2012 10:59

i will walk him and look after him if you go on holiday thisisyesterday or need a sitter. Grin

thisisyesterday · 03/07/2012 11:00

shullbit... same happened to me! was driving along at about 45mph when a dog ran out of a hedge and straight across the road in front of me. Of course I immediately hit the brakes but unfortunately I did hit the dog and it died.

the owner came running (she looked bloody knackered, must have been chasing him for a while) out and was distraught.

I felt awful, even though it was technically her fault. The impact damaged my car and I could have made her pay for it as it was her fault. I didn't though, after all I'd just killed her dog and I felt just terrible...