To not chase after the fucking dog

[paradisechick]

We have a little west highland terrier. He's 3 and a bit of a pain in the arse. I wasn't keen on the whole dog thing but DH convinced me. It's an escape artist. Since I've been on maternity leave (14 weeks) I've had to search for him no less than 7 fucking times. Once when I was a week of my date he got out of the garden, across the fields and some kind person had him in their garden.

3 weeks ago he got out and was in the field opposite, I had to leg it halfway across said field to get him whilst the baby was sleeping.

Last week I realised he was missing just as I was heading out. Cue a wasted hour driving round the town until somene called me (his number is on my collar) and I went to meet the man to get the dog back. He was really pissed off and shouty at me.

So, my DH assures me he's made sure the garden is secure (again) and this morning I'm hanging out the washing. Dog with me. I came in to make up bottles then went to get the dog in before I sit down for 10 minutes. He's gone.

Baby sleeping, we've got plans today and I don't know what the fuck to do.

The dog obviously doesn't want to live with us. I phoned DH, he swore at me, like it's my fault for leaving the dog outside. DH never walks the dog (as was agreed) so it's not wonder the little shit takes itself out for a run. I didn't want a dog. Why do I have to spend my days running after it?! DH is working only about 5 miles away.

Would it be unreasonable for me to get on with my day as planned, if someone phones saying they've got him I'll pass the number onto DH. Or do I put the sleeping baby in the car and spend another day looking for him?

I have a golden retriever, 2 boys, a 13 day old baby and a DH who works abroad. My dog goes out everyday, he might not get the really long walks he will get when DH gets home but he gets walked.

If you really wanted to walk the dog you'd find a way.

You're right, if I gave a shit I'd find a way. Turns out I don't give a shit. Like I said he's a nightmare on the lead and I'm not risking him tripping me up when I'm with the baby.

How would you feel if you were driving down the road with your baby in the car and a dog ran out in front of you, causing you to crash?

Go and get the bloody dog and stop being so irresponsible and selfish.

I don't know where he is.

Poor dog.
Whilst on maternity leave, every morning and every afternoon, without fail, I would take the dog out for an hours walk. We would wrap up warm with our waterproofs on and off we'd go. I'd time it so that DD was fed, changed and ready to sleep. When she was a little bit older she loved looking forward and seeing what was going on.

That poor dog deserves better.

You could put him on a running lead. Stretch a wire across the garden. Put the dog's collar on a lead, and the end of the lead on a pulley on the wire. This gives the dog full range of the garden without being loose.

Go easy on the OP! She has a new baby and a dog that she never wanted. Shes probably knackered. Her husband is not fulfilling the promises he made re caring for the dog, and is being an arse about the OP struggling to cope with a terrier (very aptly named IMHO - that's why I now have easily-trainable labradors and will never have a terrier ever again).

OP - yes, YWBU not to look for the dog today, as other have said - you have a legal and moral obligation to ensure that it does not come to any harm, and that it does not cause harm to others. However I completely understand how you're feeling; when my DC1 was born we also had a 1-year-old terrier who I loved dearly but who bolted at the slightest provocation and was an absolute bugger. (We managed to train her eventually but it took a LOT of input from both DH and from me and from a doggy behaviouralist!). You have 2 options for the future: 1. Accept that you need to put in lots of time and effort with this dog, or 2. Rehome the dog. And don't agree to another pet in future unless you want it 100%! Good luck.

Why the fuck would you leave it to get run over? Its inconvenient?Cancel your plans and find that poor dog. Rehome it and please never buy another pet.

Hi, sounds like you're tired, frustrated with the dog and need to let off steam.

Rehoming is a solution and Westie's generally find a home quite quickly. By doing this however, you're using up a home that a needier dog could really do with.

Do you want to find a solution ?

It might help if you had a relationship with the dog and were able to enjoy dog ownership instead of finding it a drag. What happened to the dog when you were at work ? It could well be that the doq is simply reacting to the change in routine.

Could you allocate 15 minutes to playing with it a day to promote some bonding ? Could your husband take it to work once or twice a week ? Could you afford a dog walker to come in or a local teenager to take it out during the day.

If the dog isn't getting any mental or physical stimulation, the situation won't change.

And you know that you're being unreasonable right now so go and get the dog and make sure it's safe.

There are plenty of lovely posters over in the doghouse if you want some tips on how to improve the relationship and make the dog a part of the family instead of a burden.

"You're right, if I gave a shit I'd find a way. Turns out I don't give a shit. Like I said he's a nightmare on the lead and I'm not risking him tripping me up when I'm with the baby."

Then you must rehome it, sadly you just didnt think it through and as you admit you dont give a shit, you will not be willing to really put the work in that the dog needs. You must tell your dh that the dog is going as you are not willing to take any responsibility and that is unfair on the dog. just dont let him talk you out of.

as i would really love to get a dog but just not the right time for me to have one just now. maybe by the end of the year.

Wetdog you're obviously a doggy person. I am not. I'm just a person with a dog.

Is it neutered?

Ok the thread has moved in a bit.., I agree - when he comes home (the dog, that is - and he probably will make his way home or will be found by someone - there is no point in going off on a wild goose chase if you don't know where he is) - tether him in the garden on a running lead, or a long lead tied to a tree/post etc until DH gets home. Make sure there is water within reach, and somewhere to shelter from the rain. Then tell DH to find him a new home.

Start by looking in the places he was found before.

And as you freely admit you don't give a shit please rehome him via a reliable rescue immediately.

When I was a kid, we had a dog just like that, we used to take him for walks for miles everyday but it never made any difference, he was a free spirit. He would often run up to school to the playground and dad used to have to fetch him several times a week. One day, he bolted out of the front door when my sister was talking to her friend, we searched and searched, he had our number on his tag, but was never seen again :(
It wasn't really fair of your dh to get a dog that he wanted and expect you to look after, Chase, walk the dog. If you don't want to and neither does he, you need to tell him to take more responsibility or rehome. More exercise, may curb his escapes, but in our dogs case did not. A new baby is enough to deal with. Yanbu

MrsMcEnroe How easy would you go if you found out the dog caused a car crash?

The dog is loose, the OP can (if she gave a shit) go and look for it.

She can also dial 101 and report the dog is loose so the police will be on the lookout for it during their travels.

She could have mended the fence herself knowing he DH doesn't do it properly.

There are many things she can/could do but clearly she'd rather be on MN bumping her gums about it.

How much does he get walked? Dogs MUST be walked, and terriers need a lot of excercise. It may not stop it but walking him enough that he's tired out will probably reduce the Houdini behaviour. Also playing fetch etc.

Dig in graven boards/chicken wire all the way round your garden. It's no good just patching up each new hole - they presumably keep appearing because he keeps chewing/digging new ones.

Go to some dog obedience classes to help bond with him and get him to obey you.

I think saying the dog obviously doesn't want to live with you is overly complex. He's an energetic dog who sounds bored and lacking in excercise and attention. Don't judge the dog on human emotional terms for something that sounds mainly just a practical problem of your own creation.

Really, though, you should just rehome the dog. Even if you do all the right things I don't think anything's going to change the fact that your DH is the sort of person who wants a dog but then can't be bothered to walk it and you care so little about it that you have to ask other people if it's ok to make no effort to look for your missing dog! How can you you not WANT to find it and know it's ok? Most pet owners would walk the streets for weeks calling for the dog, and lie awake every night fearing he was trapped or injured somewhere.

I've just noticed that the dog is 3. Has he always been a bolter or has it started happening since the baby arrived?

Yet more abuse for the OP on a dog thread, how nice and how sadly predictable. She's not an irresponsible idiot, she's a new mum who's struggling FFS.

Then with all due respect you shouldn't have a dog.

You should not have a dog if you don't give a shit if it gets lost.
You should not have a dog if you can't be bothered to walk it yourself, train it yourself and then blame your DH because the dog doesn't listen to you.

Of course he doesn't listen to you, you haven't taken any time to train him, he knows you don't like him, no wonder he is escaping.

So that's another poor dog in a rescue home waiting for someone to come along and give him a good home, or more likely put to sleep.

It's disgraceful.

Serene I went through all that when he went missing for ten days last year.

If you don't want the dog then by all means rehome it, but in the meantime YOU are responsible for it so you should go and look for it. Your husband sounds like an arse, by the way.

vairpreshusfb I had a similar dog as a child and the reason for that was she was never trained adequatly she was walked and exresisied and played with and massivley loved and showered with attention but the truth of the matter is she never had the real consisatant training that was needed.