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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to be livid

371 replies

Yummymummyyobe1 · 29/06/2012 22:02

Today I went to baby clinic to have DS1 weighed as usual and over heard a conversation between the HV's and the woman who lives next door but one. The woman from next door was complaining about the number of delivery people that had been to our house this week (toy deliveries) and how is unfair how some children have everything given to them on a plate blah blah blah blah. The HV was agreeing and mentioned she knew which family she was talking about before stopping dead in her tracks, when she saw me standing there.

I was livid as this seems so unprofessional to gossip about another family and their goings on (she has been to the house and passed comment on the toys etc our DS1 has) and also livid with the person next door but one for being a nosiy parker just because she doesn't have doesn't mean she has a right to bitch. AIBU to be livid and would you report this?

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Original poster

Yummymummyyobe1 · 02/07/2012 20:49

Flisspaps Thanks I'm trying to relax a little bit and that being perfect isn't the most important thing in the world. I fact today was a good day and H was full of smiles and giggles as we played peek-a-poo with a muslin cloth and had lots of cuddles.

ArielThePiraticalMermaid don't worry about it we weren't to know that this was the reason behind everything and thanks.

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Original poster

Yummymummyyobe1 · 02/07/2012 20:51

TantrumsAndBalloons thank you so much I just have to take a step back from time to time and remember that perfection is a movable goalpost.

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thecook · 04/07/2012 01:36

Hello love

I would like to apologise for my comments on this thread and your other. I honestly didn't realise you were struggling until another mumsnetter pointed it out. I am really sorry love.

I really hope you can make friends with other mums in your area. Don't worry about your weight love. Just enjoy your little one.

PS I hope the weather gets better so you can take your baby out on the prom. You are lucky to live by the sea!

Original poster

Yummymummyyobe1 · 04/07/2012 10:56

thecook thanks but there is no need to apologise I didn't realise there was an issue either until it was pointed out. I am trying very very hard to relax a little bit more and have put the prepregnancy clothes away for the now (a good reason to go shopping )

I have started to go to a few of the groups etc at the local childrens centre and I'm starting to meet other mums.

We got out for a walk yesterday along the prom I feel really lucky that we have the seaside on our doorstep, there will be many years of seaside fun to be had.

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hairylemon · 04/07/2012 11:04

ahh Yummy Ive grown quite fond of you now. Have you been to the docs yet? Also as as side can you send any of the stuff you have bought back? Honestly most of the things in your list will be outdated by the time he is old enough to enjoy them. Get rid of the leappad thing for a start, can you ebay any of it and maybe put the money away to buy, I dunno, some plants when he is older so yuo can enjoy planting them and looking after them together?

Now, Ive ran out of nappies, can I PM you my address so you can pop some in the post for me?

Original poster

Yummymummyyobe1 · 04/07/2012 11:23

hairylemon Thanks I'm quite fond of you also. I went to the Drs the other day and have been told I have anxiety issues (I had anxiety and an ED before becoming PG with DS1)

I have decided that things like the leapfrog thingy and it's friends are going to the local childrens's centre along with a large number of the rattles etc. That way they help other people and DS really doesn't need so much in his life.

PM me and the nappy's are on route. I learnt a very valuable lesson from that one

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WhosPickleisThatOnion · 04/07/2012 11:46

Thats a lovely idea yummy

And you seem to enjoy shopping (as do I) so the good thing is you can get it all again when he is old enough!

hairylemon · 04/07/2012 12:00

Yummy what a lovely thing to do. I remember going absolutely nuts shopping when DS1 was born, he got all manner of shite and he wasnt old enough to play with any of it til he was about 1. Even pissing rattles at this age are a bother, they just hit themselves in the face and they bruise like peaches, and then you spend all the time until you see the HV next panicking that they will think you just sit there lobbing stuff at the baby

Original poster

Yummymummyyobe1 · 04/07/2012 12:14

WhosPickleisThatOnion there is that point. Although I am goign to try and reign in the shopping for a very very very long time. The loft looks like storage for Hamleys.

hairylemon after some serious thought I realised that DS will never go without in life and there are famlies out there that struggle and for them the children's centres offer them a real service (I hope that doesn't sound patronising) H has started to grasp and hit things and is currently fast asleep cuddling a teddy older than I am (my dad bought it my mum when they got engaged 34years ago) and he became mine and is now H's.

I know what you mean about the rattles and bumps always worry what people will think (there I go again, other people) when he has scratches and bruises. LOL HV should worry about parents as we get battered and brusied either from "Love" walking into baby things and tiredness.

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FrankWippery · 04/07/2012 13:46

I'm sorry also for my flippant comment somewhere upthread. I am really pleased to see that you have been to the doc and are able to take a different look at things now.

I have four children ranging from almost 19 down to 3½ - all they need is your love and a few bits and bobs. Just enjoy your lovely DS, he will remember that over and above an endless stream of plastic tat and electronic toys, I promise you.

I hope you can look back in a year and laugh when you realise that his favourite things at one and a bit will be cardboard boxes, saucepans and wooden spoons. And mud

Take care of yourself and relax. Most importantly, enjoy your baby, you will find the rest happens quite naturally.

Original poster

Yummymummyyobe1 · 04/07/2012 13:54

There is no need to apologise FrankWippery I am loving being mum and having all the yummy cuddles and sloppy baby kisses. H is currently asleep but we have just spent an hour playing Peek-a-boo with a muslin cloth and his smiles were lovely.

Even now I'm feeling better than I was as I'm not burning the candle at both ends and can enjoy family life.

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ScrambledSmegs · 04/07/2012 14:12

Ah, I'm glad I came back on this thread, I was a touch worried about you, although completely off-beam about what was causing your shopping! Very glad to hear that you've talked to your doctor and have a plan. Giving toys to the children's centre is a lovely thing to do You know you're doing really well, don't you? I hope you gain a little more faith in yourself soon.

ScrambledSmegs · 04/07/2012 14:13

PS Nowt wrong with shopping, btw! I love it myself, although I'm a parsimonious bargain-hunter type

TantrumsAndBalloons · 04/07/2012 14:14

It really is a lovely thing to do, so many children will enjoy playing with them now.

And good luck with everything, there are loads of us on here that have suffered with PND, anxiety etc, you'll get through it, it's nothing to be ashamed of.

thatgirlsevil · 04/07/2012 14:24

Honestly, the whole thing with the endless fleet of toy delivery vehicles sounds like the plot to fucking Annie or something.

Original poster

Yummymummyyobe1 · 04/07/2012 15:09

Thank you ScrambledSmegs I'm starting to learn that the simple things in life are the best. I hope the toys are useful and that they bring some enjoyment to others. I do love to shop but trying to reign it in.

Thanks TantrumsAndBalloons I couldn't believe how out of control my behaviour had become and that there were other reasons for it.

thatgirlsevil it must have looked that way to people.

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Original poster

Yummymummyyobe1 · 06/07/2012 18:53

Quick update on this. I spoke with the HV and she apologised for gossiping with the lady in question and I spoke with the woman in question and she explained that a lot of the things were arriving when her children were home and they kept asking why they didn't have x,y & Z.

She explained that it was hard to explain to her DC that they could not afford to buy things for them and that some people have more than others. I then felt a real witch as her children had actually cried because they now percieved that they were poor. I apologised for this and the nappy thing and she completly understood my point of view.

We have agreed to be civil but both agreed that we probably will never be friends as such.

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WhosPickleisThatOnion · 06/07/2012 20:42

Glad you were able to have a chat and clear the air...

Flisspaps · 06/07/2012 21:31

Well done yummy

Original poster

Yummymummyyobe1 · 06/07/2012 21:33

Me too WhosPickleisThatOnion if nothing else it means that there is a little more understanding from both of us. I was also thinking of sending a few of the toddler toys we have to her little one as a peace offering.

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Original poster

Yummymummyyobe1 · 06/07/2012 22:00

Thanks Flisspaps I have learnt over the past week that life is just too short.

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