AIBU to be livid

[Yummymummyyobe1]

Today I went to baby clinic to have DS1 weighed as usual and over heard a conversation between the HV's and the woman who lives next door but one. The woman from next door was complaining about the number of delivery people that had been to our house this week (toy deliveries) and how is unfair how some children have everything given to them on a plate blah blah blah blah. The HV was agreeing and mentioned she knew which family she was talking about before stopping dead in her tracks, when she saw me standing there.

I was livid as this seems so unprofessional to gossip about another family and their goings on (she has been to the house and passed comment on the toys etc our DS1 has) and also livid with the person next door but one for being a nosiy parker just because she doesn't have doesn't mean she has a right to bitch. AIBU to be livid and would you report this?

Lovely idea mango. I wonder if the op will go for it?

OK, so your HV gossiped about you. V bad, on that YANBU.

However, having 8 toys delivered for your son but being unable to spare nappies for a small child in need marks you out as one for my list.

You'll like it on my list. We're going to move you all to a place where people can live in peace away from the common members of society. You'll all survive for a couple of months but then you'll realise that woman cannot live on snobbery alone and die of self-esteem overdoses.

We're going to film it as reality telly and watch it all on our massive flatscreen TVs that your taxes bought for us. Woop.

Not so stealth boast I suspect. Lame.

I've just looked at some posts by OP when she was preg and in some she was quite said felt like a failure, crap wife etc etc. so maybe go easy on her as she might be feeling lonely and this is a way for her to get attention/ validation.

Op you buy what you want love and spend time with him on the mat pulling funny faces, babies love that, more fun than a lump of plastic toy,he will love it and soon he will communicate with you and you won't need to start threads to get some attention. Xx

yellow

The op is stealth boasting about the amount her ds has all over mumsnet, its quite sad, and tbh I can't see how she fits any parenting in between mumsnet, online shopping and taking deliveries.

Can you elaborate Reality?

:( If this is true, I second Reality's suggestion.

I admit I was shocked when I discovered OP's child is only seven weeks.

Noted, Reality.

Hope you're ok, OP. You can stay off my list.

The reason why I asked if you were lonely and spent too much time shopping online whilst on maternity elave because I did. I was damn lonely. I also got pleasure out of buying dc1 'stuff' - it kept me entertained and made me feel better, that I was doing a good job as a mum.

If I am way off base, ignore xx

Ah I am genuinely sorry for what I posted here and on the other thread. OP, hope you're ok.

Firstly you has every right to be bothered about the HV gossiping about you if she was, That's a big if.

You seem very focused on the amount of things you have bought your son and that has possibly made you a little paranoid about it, Could that be because you deep down you know it is overly excessive?

I have read the other thread and the only things I can see that a 7 week old would need are the sensory toys and the play mat, Even that is more than enough.

You say you are buying things for when he is older but have you thought about when he is older? Can you say hand on heart that you will not go out and continue to buy more things? You have at least 4 years worth of toys already bought and he is only 7 weeks old. When will you stop and say "Yes, That's enough"?

Do you think you actually could stop?

OP what makes you so sure she was discussing you? She may very well have just shut up because it was a private conversation.

Was it the same neighbour who asked for some nappies and formula?

Is this the same op who strangely brought huge amounts in bulk of formular and nappies and wouldn't bung a few to the neighbour?

Yes.

bu

so a neighbour makes a comment about you and hv responds to comment but adds 'i think i know who you mean'?

and your complaining????? exactly what has she done other than offend your delecate nature,that is for some reason obsesed with what your neighbours say or do.

she had a convo with a patient who was the one passing comment and gave a response that in no way breached anything to do with you.

get over yourself and stop listening to other peoples consultations its rude and how would you feel if your neighbour did it to you.

I don't think I was in the house long enough to receive so many toys delivered when my dc were 8 weeks old (dd1 is now 4 and dtds are 10mo). In future, take your new baby for some fresh air and visit a shop or go to a mother and baby group.

She also listed toys in chat - 20 rattles? Really?! I thought dtds had too many toys but I think you beat us.

TBH they prefer playing with the wipes packet/my hair/my glasses... anything they shouldn't have, and crawling after the cat. Recently at my mum's they had a fab time sitting hitting saucepans with wooden spoons. I'm not oftewn a gossip but I would probably gossip about you - not to HV as she's a waste of space :)

Hi yummy, I remember you from the April pre and post natal threads. In answer to this post yes it is unreasonable and unprofessional for a hv to discuss your circumstances with another mum.

I'm sorry for negative comments aimed at you in this thread and the others you have started. However I think you need to take a step back and look at how you are coming across. You sound like an intelligent woman who is trying hard with new baby, however you also sound a little off balanced (genuinely not meant as an insult) at times. And you also come across as very judgmental and superior to others.

I don't agree with much of what you say but that is besides the point. I really think you may be experiencing a form of pnd (I'm definately no expert) , it is just how you are sometimes coming across..

You have a lovely new baby, relax and enjoy him, stop overanalysing what he needs / doesn't need, just give him love and the rest will naturally follow - you don't need to get it all organised Now. Please talk to some rl friends who may also be able to give you a balanced perspective.

That was a lovely post, cheaper.

I'm not sure why you're so bothered to be honest. Who cares how many toys you buy?

Sorry for the delay in getting back to you all we have had a lovely family day out and for once no shopping . As many of you have said I am quite lonely as I don't know anybody in the new area really and the few people we do know have much older children so no real mums in my own situation.

I found the move tough a happy move but tough all the same especially given the situation with the neighbour next door but one as I have never encountered this. I used to suffer with terrible anxiety and was on meds for it and an ED and find that I worry about making life as perfect as possible for DP and DS1 silly things like making sure there is a home cooked meal on the table and a clean happy baby. Nobody asks me to do it but I feel as a mum and a partner things have to be perfect.

ymyb1, you've arrived.

Welcome.