Man screaming at and rough-handling boy on way to school this morn - WIBU to call school?

[cfc]

I was getting the baby up this morning and her window was open. I heard a guy screaming at a young lad, perhaps about 6 yr's old. He was in his face shouting "just apologise to me, all you have to o is say I'm sorry Sam" so it wasn't his dad. Then he grabbed him by the front of his jacket and lifted him up in front of his face and continued shouting in his face - he also was still smoking with the ciggie hanging from his mouth.

At this point out of my window I shouted at him to stop. He just walked on, but I could hear him continuing to shout but couldn't make it out - he had a proper thick scottish accent (we don't live in Scotland).

I've heard this guy shouting before recently only. Should also mention he was walking with others Inc I think the child's mother. And there were people at the bus stop watching this whole thing. Had I been able, ie not getting a child up, and waiting for the toddler to have his morning poo (he thinks he can wipe his own bum, he can't) I'd have done more.

I think I know the school. I bet they're known to ss. Or I could wait until Monday and follow them to school if dh wouldn't mind getting into work late so i could a- mind the child or b- say to the school admin 'look that family there.

Typos - sorry on tablet.

Op - good for you for doing something about it, poor child. Yanbu to report it to the school, let's hope that they are able to help the child. It's when people stand by and do nothing that abuse is able to happen/continue. Of course we don't know if this was an isolated incident, but if the family have nothing to hide then they won't mind having school/ss check them out.

Well done again.

I think it would be better for OP to call the school than not do anything if genuinely concerned and then something happen to the child or abuse escalate etc.

But just a couple of things. Disclaimer first - I have a lovely Glaswegian ds-i-l who is lovely gorgeous kind person etc BUT the accent can sound quite harsh and a tendency to be quite loud so even 'Do you want a cup of tea hen?' can sound like a promise to knock your block off so l never refuse . So l'm not trying to play down your story OP but maybe it sounded a bit worse than it was. ? I mean you didnt hear him swearing or calling the child names as far as you could decipher - just asking him to apologise.

Also the cigarette to some people would also give him a certain image to some people. But really having a thick scottish accent or being a smoker arent indicative of being more likely to be a bad parent/step-parent so are both circumstantial imo.
On subject of cigarette/shouting combo btw most smokers l have observed put the cig in their mouth as they go to pick something up (or a child as in this case) so l'd imagined reading OP he only put it in his mouth in order to pick child up rather than having it in his mouth throughout whole shouting/telling off whatever.

Yup, fair do's OP. walk to the school later and let them know. In the end whether it is SS or the school you have taken a role. It is your business. I called the police recently when I saw a small being dragged along the street at 1am with a man who was shouting at him. For all I know the man was his dad and was beyond himself with worry and concern. However, he was shouting and swearing and the boy was extremely upset.

Do something and know you will have helped in a wee way.

ridiculous post mindyourownbusisness

so it is acceptable to put your fag in your mouth just to haul your dcs up by the sleves of thier clothes to scream in thier faces...oh silly OP for not realsing that.

as for his accent possibly being miconstrud as agression, that is clearly not the case is it and that is very obviouse by the fact again, that he had the child hauled up by the sleves of his clothes and screamed it in his face.

Go to the school. They won't be able to tell you anything but as others have said, what harm can it do? Any outcome from this action can only be positive for the little boy, which is the most important thing. Good luck.

Sorry too many some peoples - stupid preview message was taking forever so just posted it without checking.
Just meant to add that the cigarette close to the childs face wasn't brilliant even if it was there as l have suggested to enable the man to pick up the child.
But otherwise just sounds like the man got a bit frustrated with the child. He wasnt beating/hitting him or verbally abusing him (unless of course you count shouting in someones face)
As someone else said the 'bad uns' behind closed doors are often exemplary in public.

Shouting in a child's face is verbal abuse mindyourown

It is awful to experience these things and especially bad for the child concerned. I posted that the OP should keep out of it due to the fact that reporting it will get her nowhere and there is probably nothing anybody can do. I once reported a woman who was actually burning her child with cigarettes. I was in the Post Office. Firstly, town centre security to call Police as didn't have mobile then. Then Police and gave a statement, woman and child still in the vicinity. Nothing happened, called ss to ask if Police had reported it. There again nothing could be done. Unless I had name, address and child was in danger, they couldn't do anything. Have also reported to schools and it has been logged, even known name and address but as family not known to ss nothing done. I even got shouted at by one cp officer who told me to stop wasting her time as she had case loads of seriously in danger kids. Most are nice though and explain the systems short comings. Report it if it makes you feel better, but in my case I spent several days worrying and physically sick in the case of woman with cigarette burning. Also if the man knows you objected to his behaviour you could have problems on your own door step.

Look, 'shouting' can mean differend things to people.

There were many people around and didn't get concerned. Those were at the scene and they know first hand what happened.

Report it if you like, but imo no need for this hysteria and imaginative scenarios 'behind doors'.

OP, I haven't read all through the thread but just wanted to say thank goodness there are people like you who look out for children and are willing to get involved.

good luck.

Agree with Laquitar. There are an awful lot of assumptions, hyperbole and hysteria on this thread.

Good for you OP. If a woman posted on here that her partner had grabbed her, lifted her off the ground and screamed in her face she'd be told she should leave him. A little child doesn't have that option.

I think the snarky comments accusing the OP of being naive and/or judgemental and/or a liar are really inappropriate and disappointing.

There are things the school can and should do though morethanpotatoprints.

I know shouting. This was terrible, the two people a the bus stop, a young woman and a man, were staring at this. But afraid to intervene. I'm not. When he moved away, still with the child aloft, they looked at each other and shook their heads.

Not been yet.

Rubirosa, yes school can do things but unless they have a strong suspicion the child is in danger aren't going to, thats if they can identify the child.

Quicklookbusy yes I absolutely agree it is hence l added 'unless of course you count shouting in someones face'. I was pointing out (and as l 've stated l'm not trying to play down the situation or discredit the OP ) that he didnt 'as far as the OP could decipher ' swear at the child or call him abusive names but was demanding he apologise etc' . Yes l agree the shouting it in his face was wrong.

"the two people a the bus stop, a young woman and a man, were staring at this. But afraid to intervene"

but again you are assuming. You do not know that they were afraid to intervene.. you didnt see what happened BEFORE the shouting that may have instigated it..

one possible scenario is that the child could have sworn, could have spat, you just do not know the whole story, and rushing off to report this parent on that basis is wrong..

I don't see the problem with reporting it TBH.

I would rather be safe than sorry in this situation.

Even if this adult just learns not to shout in a child's face, then it will be a job well done.

We could all pull apart op and her story, doesn't really help much though.

it does not matter what lead up to it, it is wrong, bullying and abusive to do what he did the child regarless of what the child may or may not have done.

EnthusiasticTroll

I did not say it was acceptable to put your fag in your mouth to haul up a dc and scream in their face.

I was merely commenting on the shouting/fag in mouth debate that various posters have contributed to - and that I had visualised on reading OP that during initial shouting he had the fag in his hand then put it in his mouth to pick him up to free his hands as smokers do.

I did also add in a further post before l saw yours that despite giving my 'take' on why he had the fag in his mouth l agreed that it wasnt brilliant behaviour to have a cigarette close to the childs face.

So please do not put words in my mouth.

As for my point about some peoples accents can make them sound more aggressive I maintain that is a valid point and well documented. Again l didnt say that he wasnt being aggressive or OTT or whatever - l was merely making a point without drawing any conclusions - as I wasnt there so cant possibly say if any of my points were a factor or not.

Oh - wait a minute - neither were you .

Why are people so afraid of "interfering"?? Better to interfere than ignore - if this turns out to be a trivial incident which the OP misinterpreted, I imagine she'll be relieved to hear it. If, on the other hand, a small child is being hurt, her contribution may help to improve his situation.

Ignore the accusations, OP - good on you for caring. As for those who patronise you by suggesting you know nothing of "real" cruelty, of the sort of extreme violence and misery SS has to deal with, ignore them too. The fact that some children are raped and murdered by adults doesn't mean we should ignore the plight of those children who are "only" roughly-handled or screamed at on a regular basis.

As for the accent, it may be a useful identifier. And I'm from Glasgow.

but I have no reason to attempt to discredit what the op said she witnessed through adding into the mix possible reasons factors that would indicate what she witnessed may not be all it seemed.

op seen what she seen had concerns there for she should report it.

your post seemed ridiculous and irrelevent to me, and so I pointed it out. I was not putting words into your mouth I was responding in how I interpreted your post and you are within your rights to defend that. i however still do not accept what you are saying as any possible reasonable explination for what the op describes she seen.

what she said she witnessed was wrong IMHO end off regradless of any possible explinations, contributory factors or interpritaion and therefore should be reported.

The school has no authority to police parenting though.As long as people don't cross the threshold for what would be considered by a court as abuse, then they are free to parent as they see fit.

hear hear Enthusiastic Troll

Posters trying to discredit the OP are weird.