Man screaming at and rough-handling boy on way to school this morn - WIBU to call school?

[cfc]

I was getting the baby up this morning and her window was open. I heard a guy screaming at a young lad, perhaps about 6 yr's old. He was in his face shouting "just apologise to me, all you have to o is say I'm sorry Sam" so it wasn't his dad. Then he grabbed him by the front of his jacket and lifted him up in front of his face and continued shouting in his face - he also was still smoking with the ciggie hanging from his mouth.

At this point out of my window I shouted at him to stop. He just walked on, but I could hear him continuing to shout but couldn't make it out - he had a proper thick scottish accent (we don't live in Scotland).

I've heard this guy shouting before recently only. Should also mention he was walking with others Inc I think the child's mother. And there were people at the bus stop watching this whole thing. Had I been able, ie not getting a child up, and waiting for the toddler to have his morning poo (he thinks he can wipe his own bum, he can't) I'd have done more.

I think I know the school. I bet they're known to ss. Or I could wait until Monday and follow them to school if dh wouldn't mind getting into work late so i could a- mind the child or b- say to the school admin 'look that family there.

Typos - sorry on tablet.

You are going to go to SS to report a man shouting at his 'stepson' to apologise?He is clearly not 'dad of the year' but you only glimpsed a snapshot.People do get annoyed with kids and yell at them.SS are dealing with things like kids being beaten, deliberately burnt , not fed, sexually abused, being exposed to drug taking.Let them deal with the kids who are in real risk without wasting time on ill founded allegations like this.

Yes OP it sounds far from ideal.
And I know...smoking is the new pointy beard and twirly moustache for villains...so he was probably off to tie the boy to some train tracks.

"All you have to do is say I'm sorry Sam"

I think the boy is Sam and the man is his dad. I would say to my son "All you have to do is say sorry Oscar"

And you can't shout and keep a cigarette in your mouth.

I think you're bored. Ohone the school if you want - it will give you something to do.

It doesn't really matter if he was shouting, the lifting up roughly is enough, to go to the school over.

OP if it was as you described, report it, it will be used as evidence and they may be known and this will picture build, either way, this is no way for a child's school day to start.

My father used to a very good job of smoking and shouting, sadly I remember it all too well.

Op I would phone the school as there is little else you can do, but at least you will have tried, poor child.

I would call social services and the school.

I wouldnt get involved in any exchange with him though that would be very unwise with two small children and one on the way.

The reason I made mention of it is that I was worried about the boy's face being so close to it.

"just apologise to me, all you have to do is say I'm sorry Sam"

No I dont think you should go to the school.... for a start the kid could have been called Sam... or if he had a really strong scots accent he could even have been saying "son" rather than sam.

"I bet they're known to ss.", nice generalisation there...

x-posts with Pictish :)

I'd report them to the school. It makes me shudder how some people talk to kids in public, makes you wonder what happens behind closed doors.

Overheard I woman in a supermarket telling her gc, who looked about 5 that if she touched the sandwiches again that she'd slap her. No, please don't do that, just straight in with threats.

If you know the school the boy goes to and you know him or can identify him by his parents/address then definately let the school know. (They can put Child Protection wheels in motion if need be)

Then at least you've done something.

If you challenge him face-to-face if you see him, you might end up being told to "mind your own" or worse

Yes, I didn't like the generalisations in the op either, but if I had witnessed this

"Then he grabbed him by the front of his jacket and lifted him up in front of his face and continued shouting in his face"

happening to a six year old, I would want to do something as it would make my blood run cold. The op is not just describing a bit of a telling off.

I can't phone ss as i have no info. And if he's doing this in the street imagine in private.

Also they was he said it sounded like his name was Sam, not the boy's. But that's a good point, either way, I have a name.

As for being bored, hee hee. I long for a bit of boredom! I won't confront him, but if i saw it again, I'd have to say something to him to stop him.

We've all been pushed to the limits by our children, but this felt so different than me shooting to my boy to get a move on. The boy was in bits.

OP, you know what you saw, and it doesn't matter what people think of the shouting/fag combination. What matters is how this little boy must feel right now. He needs support and the school is the best place to start. As cassette says. It will be a lot worse behind closed doors. There are so many children forced into coping with situations that as adults we would be in pieces.

yes phone the school
it won't do any harm and it may do some good

those of you who are saying ' social services are busy with kids who are being beaten'-do you not think that the cycle of abuse started somewhere?

do you think that the first act of violence committed against a child is usually a cigarette stubbed out on them?

lifting up a little lad and screaming in his face is not acceptable behaviour at all-children are small and we are big. we are not supposed to bully them like this.

Yes what squeakytoy, ariadne and pictish said.

Its nice though that you care and are so horrified by this, it means you don't really know what SS have to deal with, the really bad stuff.

You have also assumed an awful lot.

Oh and I agree that you can't shout all of what you outlined in your OP with a fag in your mouth, especially not so as to be clearly heard by someone upstairs inside a house.

If someone came on here and posted:

'Having a really bad time, just lost it with DS :('
and said they'd done what that man had done, there would be a lot of replies along the lines of:

Do you need some support in RL?
We all lose it sometimes.
Give your son a hug when he gets back and appologise.

Smoking Scotish man though...Must be a SS case.

You do not have to pghone SS.

Contact the school and describe, honestly, what happened. This is why 'working together to safeguard children' came into force.

It was found in every child abuse case that there had been lots of little incidents that were not put together, mainly in the school yard/on the way to school.

We have found these sorts of reports invaluable to know what has really been going on in a child's life.

that is what i thought OP, this does not seem to be pushed to limits and rather too harshly telling of a dc.

This was different and made you feel it was unacceptable, therefore it was unacceptable and good on you for stoping it there and then.

Call the school and if your boredom helps the school identify him and keep an an eye on things then it has achived more than those who are pr occupied with discrediting your information.

And if he's doing this in the street imagine in private

Actually the ones who do awful stuff in private very often have exemplery behavior in public.

*Scottish

ffs...what is this about?....the OP is describing what she witnessed with a little innocent boy being abused very obviously by a less than reasonable human being and has naturally felt grave concern for this small child

the OP is seeking to help decide if and what to do to be of help to the child

...and what...ppl need to be squabbling about whether a person can shout and smoke at the same time!!......WTF!!!!???....this does my head in and theres way too much of this nit- picking silliness going on...it's so futile and silly...I don't get it why ppl keep doing this on thread's....just should really have better things to do I think....pick...pick...pick......!!!

Lots of people have said that they have often witnessed people shouting with a cigarette stuck to their mouth. I'm assuming it's the dog end of a roll up which has stuck to the lip.

Ekk this could get the family RL support.

Schools can implement Common Assessment Frameworks, which is first and second tier CP and can refer the family for services. SS isn't the only department that can help and every case does not need SW involvement.

This could at least direct pastoral support to the child.

and soozeedol I agree with you. I'm just trying to stop people derailing the thread by accusing the OP of lying about a cigarette in the mouth while shouting.

I think the OP should do as her instinct tells her to.
She saw it, not us.

And that's where the dificulty lies - people interpret things in different ways.