Man screaming at and rough-handling boy on way to school this morn - WIBU to call school?

[cfc]

I was getting the baby up this morning and her window was open. I heard a guy screaming at a young lad, perhaps about 6 yr's old. He was in his face shouting "just apologise to me, all you have to o is say I'm sorry Sam" so it wasn't his dad. Then he grabbed him by the front of his jacket and lifted him up in front of his face and continued shouting in his face - he also was still smoking with the ciggie hanging from his mouth.

At this point out of my window I shouted at him to stop. He just walked on, but I could hear him continuing to shout but couldn't make it out - he had a proper thick scottish accent (we don't live in Scotland).

I've heard this guy shouting before recently only. Should also mention he was walking with others Inc I think the child's mother. And there were people at the bus stop watching this whole thing. Had I been able, ie not getting a child up, and waiting for the toddler to have his morning poo (he thinks he can wipe his own bum, he can't) I'd have done more.

I think I know the school. I bet they're known to ss. Or I could wait until Monday and follow them to school if dh wouldn't mind getting into work late so i could a- mind the child or b- say to the school admin 'look that family there.

Typos - sorry on tablet.

I believe you OP and I think you would be doing the right thing to contact the school.

Hearts what is weird imo is the post that calls squeky a 'stupid c...t'.

Ironically, in a thread about 'verbal abuse' posters who disagree are called names.

(making note to never give a good telling off to my dcs while i knee to their level for eye contact as this could be seen as verbal abuse to their face especially with my loud Spanish accent)

Unbelievable.

Some of the responses, that is, not the OP.

There are quite a few MNers who have miserable stories to tell about adults who made their childhoods shit. I think if you asked them if they'd wished somebody had spoken up and tried to intervene, they would not be saying people should wind their neck in.

This thread is fucking depressing.

"The school has no authority to police parenting though"

Yes they do, if it considered abusive or is causing the child distress in school etc.

The child was physically picked up by the front of his clothing and shouted at, that is very scary for a child, or worse, considered normal and does not get reacted to.

Laquitar - I'm guessing that Squeaky is an adult and able to speak up for herself. A six year old isn't.

And if you really speak to your child in the way the OP describes, not kneeling but picking up and shouting in their little face, then I pity them deeply and hope that someone like the OP intervenes.

quite agree with that about name calling on this thread laquiter.

But kneeling to your dsc level whilst making eye contact (and talking loudly or quietly in any accent) would be the appropriate alternative to lifting them by thier clothes off the floor and screaming in thier faces ( with or without a fag in gob). but im sure you know that and are just being flippant. But unfortuantly this kind of attitude normalises and sweeps abuse and DV and child abuse under the carpet and justifys leaving it un challenged.

hearts don't pity my dcs

I agree that squeaky is an adult and its not the same but if i was to follow the thread's theme i could say 'oh my God, if she calls another woman a c..nt who knows what she calls her dd behind closed doors'.

By all means if op feels that it was bad, then call ss. It is the rest of assumptions that made me hmm. On one hand people should interfere if something is really bad, on the other hand parents should be scared of disciplining (i mean reasonably) their dcs in public.

parents should not.

Less than perfect parenting does not equal child abuse. OP should report it to someone if she feels the need. However the assumptions others who weren't there are making, based on the OP's guesses, bets, assumptions and elaborations are ridiculous. Its hysterical and less than useful, and the main point really seems to feel better about themselves and their own parenting.

"Less than perfect parenting does not equal child abuse"

that is quite true, but In my own opinion lifting a child off the ground and screaming in thier faces comes pretty close to child abuse.

I would also doubt very much it is an issolated incident and come to the assumption, quite rightly that someone with such a short fuse and this level of temper is likely to have done this before and will be likely to do this again. I do not think that is hysteeria, but a very sensible judgment of the situation.

If he did that to his partner it would be considered domestic abuse by many people. If he did this to any other adult it would be considered assault.

If that is indeed what happened. And really, its a continuum, not an either or.

and the coniuum is not for OP to decipher or unearth the whole matter and so so that is why she should report what she witnessed to those that can.

What is the reasoning for doubting that is what happened? do you think OP is lying or mistaken that she witnessed him lifting the boy off the ground by his clothes and screaming in the boys face?

What is the reason? It's obvious that OP made an awful lot of assumptions and its likely these coloured her view of the situation. She even thinks she can tell the inner thinking of other observers. This doesn't make her the most reliable informant.

Like I said, OP should report to someone if she feels the need. What exactly is the point of discussing it on here though? Doesn't help anyone, except the OP to feel better about herself.

What is the reason? It's obvious that OP made an awful lot of assumptions and its likely these coloured her view of the situation

Yes this. That is why I responded the way I did. Not because I think shouting in a childs face is ok or even shouldn't be brought to the attention of the appropriate authority, but because OPs interpretation appeared clouded by her assumptions.

That makes me amongst others a stupid c**t though apparently.

I think she made the assumption that they may already be known to social services wrongly.

The accent I think was relevent in helping identify him and that was taken the wrong way by posters.

And the thinking of why others did not intervien was a possible explination of why the may not have and again taken the wrong way.

she raised it on here for any other reason anyone raises anything on here and making the assumption it is to make her feel better about herself is paramount to telling the inner thinkings of others.

I think her judgments possibly came as a result of what she witnessed rather than shaping what she felt she witnessed.

and there you go we all make judgements and second guessings of what is happening in other peoples minds, it is a pertty normal aspect of dechiphering what is happening in our environment.

have you responded to my post amberleaf? as I never actually called anyone a stupid c**t.

Troll I know you didn't!

It was piglet that said that and that post was deleted.

If it really was like she says why would she need any advice? and in aibu? I think that was not the motivation.

and troll, actually most of us don't look at strangers across a road and decide we know exactly why they aren't doing something the observer thinks they should. We might wonder as to possible motivations, but people who make snap decisions like that are generally listening to their own biases rather than any information from the environment. Attribution errors are the basis of many erroneous assumptions.

thats good then amberleaf