Women who pack suitcases for men.

[AnnaMosity]

I hear of this relatively often.
JUST DON'T DO IT.

Oh business trips I wouldn't pack for him as I'd have no idea what was needed

How is it pathetic?

I know a woman who packs for husbands business trips and puts tissue paper between his shirts.

OP, do you have a one sided relationship?

Is that what this thread is about?

I'm happy to be the "little woman" and pack for my DP. He gets up early every day and works his ass of while I get to stay at home for no other reason than I don't want to, nor do I have to work. And the reason I don't have to work is because he takes such good care of me.

I'm also tired of rad fem views ffs.

"It's like women who can't change a tyre...ridiculous"

Thing is, I know how to change a tyre but, unfortunately, I am unable to do so because I can't shift the bloody wheel nuts once they've been put on by Kwik Fit places. It is essential that you remember to ask them to loosen the nuts and then hand tighten them when you have your tyres changes.

Calm down op!

I do this. Family of 4 and we take two smallish bags between us- I pack the lot.

Don't worry I make h carry it!

Incidentally I don't pack for him if he's away for work - I do it for family trips

I never pack for my partner. We pack our own things and then between us make sure we've got shared items like toothpaste etc.

I might pack for him if he was exceptionally busy in the run up to going away and asked me nicely as a favour, but otherwise he's a grown adult and I always presume he can do it himself.

Why does anyone care? fwiw dh and I pack our own bags but if one person is better at packing and another is better at driving or jorney planning or researching places to visit while there or whetever why shouldn't a couple play to their respective strenghts and preferences. What business is it of anyone else??!!

oh. x-post

business trips he's on his own.

Ok. perhaps I may drive him crazy with
have you packed A
yes
have you packed B
yes
have you packed C
YES
have you packed D
YES

I don't know how he puts up with me

SpokenNerd he knows what to put in, he just leaves it til last minute then chucks the nearest things in, and can't be arsed. He knows me well enough to know I'll have sorted some things out for him. I can't be arsed to sort out refilling the oil tank, of keeping the garden under control. If I wasn't around he'd do it fine himself, and if he wasn't around I'd get someone in to mow the lawn. One of the bonuses of being in a relationship is that you can share chores this way

Mind you, when he's going away for a gig he wouldn't miss out a thing, and I certainly wouldn't do it for him

I pack for DH (a bit)

He empties the cat litter tray because it makes me boak

I clean the bog

He always seems to remember which setting the white load is on the washing machine

BIG GIANT SHRUG to the whole thing.

i pack for DP because he just cannot fold a shirt (despite numerous lessons). He also seems to think 2 pairs of socks is fine for a week away.

But the main reason is; i miss him so much when he is away, he gets so lonely and he works such long hours, that i like to think that every time he gets a clean pair of pants out of the bag i am sort of there with him.

I also sneak presents and some of my knickers in ;)

Ah, I see. OP only makes 2-3 short posts, then says she's off out - "enjoy!"

Lovely.

DH gives me a pile of stuff to pack.

I take out stuff we have duplicated (shower gels etc), the hundreds of pairs of socks he thinks will be necessary, plus a few of his t-shirts as he always takes too many.

I then can mix up all of our stuff between the cases in case one goes missing, so that weight is more evenly distributed between them, and so that there is space in the cases to bring stuff we buy home.

I am better at packing than he is, so I do it. He is better at ironing so he does that. It isn't some sort of household oppression.

I pack for my DH and everyone else in the family. I do this partly because that way I know what has to be clean and located and partly because I'm the one who is organised enough to make a list of what needs to go with us beforehand. Yes I do ask him what he wants to go in the suitcase though. DH does all the driving and helps pack the car which is more than enough contribution to my way of thinking. Doing it doesn't make me a 'little woman' just a girl who likes doing nice things to make her DH's life a bit more pleasant. He works hard to provide for me and DD, so why shouldn't I try and make his home life smooth sailing as I only work part time? I always thought it was the norm in marriages personally. OP do you also think that I shouldn't make him doctor's appointments or run errands for him?? Oh and no I can't change a tyre either.

Intriguing. That has never occurred to me.

When we went on holiday this year, Dh gave me a long, smug explanation about how he organises packing, making sure he has everything by considering each part if his body individually - shoes, socks, trousers, shorts, boxers, etc. I just smiled politely and packed my way.

He forgot to bring his trunks. How I laughed.

He packs his own stuff though, at least. I pack for myself and Ds.

I'm not "the little woman" (in any sense....) but I do the packing. It works for us.

DH works from home, does all the shopping, is available to take delivery of packages and deal with all tradesmen, makes all the arrangements for stuff like tradesmen and a huge proportion of the household paperwork, keeps us right with car servicing and MOTs, and used to do about 9/10 of the child-fetching till DS got older.

OTOH I commute to work, cook meals, do more of the gardening and cleaning, and put his clothes and stuff into a suitcase now and again when he (or we) are going on a trip. It's not that he's incapable of it, just that it gives us time together before he heads off for a few days - he decides what to bring and fetches it all together, and I fold it neatly (which I happen to be better at) and fit it ito the case. I reckon years of playing Tetris may have contributed to my ability to get it all in without sitting on the case....

I don't get why this one specific issue causes you such a problem? If men are incapable of household stuff, there will be a lot of bigger issues than packing a few times in a year. And if they are fine generally, and the relationship is an effective partnership, then how a couple arrange this one specific thing is no big deal, surely?

Speaking only for myself it doesn't work because I get the blame for every little thing not brought or not foreseen. Each to their own works well in my house

MY husband packs for me should he stop too he is an amazing folder and roller im more of a shove it in and hope for the best ,

Dh packs his own stuff. I just guess what he will forget and remind him once he's finished, or half way there if I'm feeling awkward

One of the first times we went away as we left the flat, I turned to him and said "have you got your pyjamas?"
He told me not to fuss and of course he had, he wasn't stupid. Six hours later he had to decide what to wear that night as he didn't have them. He now listens to me when I check. I'm more often right than wrong on this.

I do not understand why anyone would pack for anyone else because it is a personal, not a communal, task.

Personal tasks:

• wiping bottom
• washing body
• drying hair
• making bed (except double beds)
• getting self to school/work
• choosing clothes
• packing suitcase

etc

Communal tasks:

• loading/unloading dishwasher
• vacuuming
• grocery shopping
• laundry

I make sure that everything is washed and ironed and leave DH to his own devices ..... then I go back and put extra things in his case cos with all the good will in the world 5 pairs of pants, 2 t shirts and 1 pair of shorts will not do for 14 days! plus I do not want to sit next to someone with whiffy clothes at dinner every night

when we say pack are we meaning looking out clothes because i do that myself not having him raking through my undies and then he puts it in the case , thats team packing isnt it ,