Women who pack suitcases for men.

[AnnaMosity]

I hear of this relatively often.
JUST DON'T DO IT.

DH decides what he wants to take but if left completely to his own devices there will be the clothes he travels in plus one shirt and his swimmers - for a fortnight's holiday (in the UK, so not in his swimmers all day!). We have to travel light because ds has a wheelchair and a lot of medical equipment to take, but not that light!!
I do most of the actual packing and DH loads the car. Seems a totally reasonable split of jobs to me.

I don't decide what clothes he is taking . Actually that would maybe be a bit weird.

I do most of the laundry, so I ask if there is anything they he is planning on taking that needs washing. Then before I do the actual packing, I ask what he wants to take, and if he is at home he gets it all and lays it out on the bed, or if he is at work he tells me and I get it out of the wardrobe.

Dh is responsible for the wash kit as he uses the bathroom last on the morning we leave so chucks all toiletries in before we go.

I do give him a reminder a week before we go away that if he wants certain things clean he needs to put them in the wash basket in plenty of time.

I must say, if I were WOHM and he was a SAHD I wouldnt want him to pack for me as I know what Id want to take, what goes with what and what fits atm And he'd probably not pack any bras.

If DH goes away with work he packs for himself.

But for holidays, I pack for everyone. I just cannot abide leaving them to their devices.

First, you have to mix up the belongings as if one case goes missing, you're trully fucked. I give you Jamaica without anyhting for DD. Also no sunscreen, or bathing costumes!!!!

Second, DH will overpack, taking everyhting in his wardrobe. I tell him to leave out what he'd like to be packed and then I cull. No one needs more tee shirts than days. No one needs four pairs of combats for a holiday in St Tropez.

Third, the DC will pack virtually nothing. I ask them to leave out what they'd like to take and then add. DS, yes, you do need more than one football top for a fortnight. DD sorry but you cannot wear your converse to the beach.

To be fair though, DH is completely in charge of all electrical items and camers etc. Also all administration and paperwork.

Let's not forget the time I forgot to take the address of the farmhouse we were staying in.

Why shouldn't I pack for my husband. He works hard and is rubbish at it!

Should he not do anything for me either??

DP goes away with work almost every week. He puts everything he needs on our bed and I fold it so there will be very few creases when he unpacks. He could do it himself but I do it cause I love him and because he appreciates it.
Holidays are different we just chuck what we need in a big bag/case and hot foot it to the airport

I get all the clothes sorted then DH packs it as he seems to be able to get twice as much in the suitcase than I can. Yes, I pick his clothes. He wears the same stuff all the time anyway so it's not like I dictate what he wears and I don't actually care what anyone thinks of that.

DH hasn't a clue what clothes he owns.

I pack clothes and wash bags, he does *geek and paperwork.

*Cameras, phones, laptop, charges, setting heating and cleaning and stabilising the marine fish to be left (which is a right palarva),

The only personal thing he packs is his razor, which I'd forget.

Honestly, why do you care? What affect does it have on your life if I pack my husband's bag for him? Actually, how is it even any of your business?

I am so fucking fed up with the 'don't do anything for your husband or you're an anti-feminist, oppressed sad case who should be ashamed' brigade.

I like doing things for my family.

The two are not mutually exclusive, FFS.

I really agree with ^^.

Me and Dh have a partnership. I come home late and my dinner is ready, He is late and his dinner is ready.
If I work at weekends everyone's bedding is washed and put back on, school uniforms washed and ironed and the weekly shop done.

He gets home late and I'm in the place is tidy and the kids are sorted.

What is the problem? It's a partnership and we help each other out. (This includes packing if necessary!)

Let's not forget the time I forgot to take the address of the farmhouse we were staying in.
OMG!! I have had a few close calls like this but not actually forgotten the address.
Hope you got there in the end

(sounds like a good story!)

DH works away a lot and manages to sort his own stuff out for doing that.

For holidays though we tend to pack together. We each get out what we want to take - and then do a huge cull.

i like to travel light!! One holdall should do it for 4 of us this year - we are staying in a villa in France with a washing machine. So no one needs more than three days worth of clothing I reckon.

I would rather leave space in the boot for all the lovely wine I plan to bring home1!!!

My mother packs for her DH. Always moans about it, but still does it. However he has been known to get to the airport without even his wallet. Old dog - new tricks.. ??

I pack for DP mostly - because it's really no effort to pack one more bag, he doesn't care what he wears, and I just take x things from each of his boxer/t-shirt/sock/shirt/trouser draws and done - no point us both knocking elbows trying to do it.

And when it comes to wash/toothpaste etc it's more effort to filter out his stuff than just sweep it all into a ziplock bag.

If he's going alone, I often pack for him because it makes him feel loved when he gets there and unpacks it - It's not required that I do it, it's more like getting him a nice cup of tea after a long day

I just think that men who are happy to be helpless with regards what goes into their suitcase must be slightly dim or slightly odd.

My DH as opinions on which clothes he wants to take away! He has opinions on HOW to pack too... and I would never do it for him!

How can these men just blindly accept their clothing being packed by someone else?? Have they no individual thoughts?

I pack for me and the kids, DP packs his own bags. How am I supposed to know what he'll want to wear?

But why do you even care OP? Is it a feminist issue

As above, for me it is not about the "doing a favour"...that's fine and nice...but it's the men who don't care what they wear or have any opinions on their outfits!

Weird.

Why not? I left DH to pack his suitcase for our last holiday. Me and DCs went out a week earlier and he came and met us. He packed:

1 pair of pants
1 pair of jeans
3 thick jumpers (for a hot weather holiday)
waterproof trousers
The shirt he wore to a wedding we'd been to the week before

Fortunately I know how shit/lazy he is about packing, and packed spares. He does the jobs that I don't want to/can't be arsed doing for me, only fair I reciprocate

Ahh now we only ever pack to camp, that's a team effort. I pack, he loads the car, trailer and roof box. Maximises both our talents tbh

Starball how has a man not got a clue what clothing he owns?? Do you buy it for him too?

What would happen if God forbid you went away or left him? He'd be left naked after some time because he would simpmly run out of clothing and not know how to buy/choose more!

Rodney but WHY does your DH not know what clothing is needed for a holiday?? Why? That is the question. It IS odd for an adult to be incapable of working out they need clean and suitable clothes for each day/night of the break.

TBF I don't particularly care what I wear either - we're just not clothes people. My packing list is similarly X from the pants/socks/t-shirts/trousers pile.. as is DS's ........

I'm one of those people who half wishes my jobs would have uniforms so I don't have to think at all (as it is I just by 10 of whatever top and wear them in rotation until they wear out)

Packing for your DH is just bizarre. My sister used to do it for her ex husband while he just sat around doing nothing. I went away with them once and the whole time it was "where's my blue shirt" and "why didn't you bring my grey shorts". It drove me batty. Needless to say they are now divorced because being incapable of even packing a suitcase for himself was indicative of the type of lazy arse he was in every facet of their lives. I would never mother my DH like that. He would never expect it either.

Uh?

If we are all going away I tend to pack for him (he chucks the clothes he wants at me though) partly because I can then decide how often we will wash clothes and what sort of stuff we can cope with sharing/not taking etc/

I used to pack for the kids too but my mum gave them cases at Xmas and I just tell them to pack grannies case and anything that won't go in there isn't going with us LOL . In the UK that usually means we take 4 lots of toiletries etc but I'm learning that doesn't matter much. THey are also getting a grasp on remembering all they need to take which is good.

I laughed at my friend for doing this but then she told me the last time they went away, he packed his own bag and put one shirt in. He was wearing a t-shirt. That was it. One shirt and one t-shirt for a week - he had to rinse one out every evening and hang it up to dry.

I conceded it was better that she do the packing going forward.