Women who pack suitcases for men.

[AnnaMosity]

I hear of this relatively often.
JUST DON'T DO IT.

I must really piss off the feminists on mn as i also unpack when we arrive and repack to come home.

Believe it or not it is my choice to do so and so i will carry on doing it

I don't think anyone has said pant picking is a crucial part of their relationship, that's just bollocks.

I do somethings, dp does other things. Can't see the problem

I feel I'm helping my partner out by empowering him to be independent. The way I empowered him to start cooking proper food.

cantspel, I think you can sleep easy knowing that the feminists don't actually give a hoot what you do.

Being pissed off at what women actually do is not what feminism is. Feminism is about analysing why certain things happen and trying to change that so it's better for women.

If you're happy to continue treating your husband like a wee boy, you go right on.

Well mine can already cook proper food and even wash up afterwards as i refuse to have a dishwasher.

The fact that i do the packing and unpacking doesn't mean he is usless and not capable

Well yellow it depends how you pack really, if you do just move clothes to another place then yes it's probably irrelevant who does it.

But if like me you enjoy writing lists beforehand, laying everything out, working out which activities you will be doing etc, have very good 'non creasing' folding skills, don't want to go out to nice restaurants with DP looking like he is wearing a brown paper bag and smelling rancid because he thinks it's fine to recycle socks and pants in 32 degree heat, AND most importantly enjoy it.

Compared to DP who has shocking spacial awareness and a sense of logic which genuinely leaves others bewildered so will stuff white shirts in the bottom of the bag and put muddy boots on top.

You may say well let him smell and have mud over his clothes, but i really don't want to. Also you may say well then he would learn. But he doesn't. Because being the way he is, looking and smelling like that doesn't bother him. (he is savantish in his ways and has been told he is on the aspergers spectrum)

And i do think packing is a skill (not necessarily a feminine one either). I know more men who precision pack and women who shove it all in a rucksack.

My husband hasn't been a wee boy for over 40 years and the fact i pack a suitcase for him isn't going to turning him into a child again.

Surely there are things you do for your oh that are personal but you still do them as you like to help him out and ensure a smooth running home?

You think not packing some clothes in a suitcase is changing something and making life better for women

I just can't imagine trying to organise my partner like that, Spuddy.

Like you say, let him have mud on his clothes. He is an adult, he can choose how he is happy going out.

I think not assigning Womanly Duties of a Caring Nature to women is better for women, yes. I think Not Packing is personally better for me.

LeQueen, that's balls and I really don't have the energy to argue with someone like you.

I also purchase DP's clothes after a particularly odd 'breakdown' he had in gap when someone asked his size. He finds these kinds of things unbelievably stressful to the point of hyperventilating. So why would i make him go thru that when i can easily pop a pair of jeans in the trolly in primark?

Spuddy, all well and good if he would do the same for you if you were hyperventilating about jeans or packing or dish washing.

I just don't tend to see many posts that say "I am too confused to buy jeans, luckily my partner does it for me".

But yellow i wouldn't be happy when we are out together with him stinking. I'd rather not go out. What would that achieve?

I do not think i do these things because DP is male (i did not for exH). I do them because he finds them so awful. And that is what i think being a partnership is - making life easier, not harder for one another.

And yes he is grateful yellow and yes he knows he is odd and is embarassed, which increases his anxiety.

When someone cannot learn something and finds it genuinely torturous isn't it cruel to keep making them do it?

There's no point arguing with you LeQueen.

Well Spuddy, I guess I just couldn't be with a guy who is stinking. You obviously have more patience than me. If he makes your life easier as well, great.

I know an awful lot more women in shitty one-sided relationships than in equal ones.

Neither could i yellow but fortunately by packing enough pants and deodorant - i don't have to!

Agree with spuddy if you can do something quite easily that your oh finds stressful or difficult why would you not just do it?

Seems abit fucking mean to me. I hate talking on the phone to people I don't know, I'm capable of doing it but don't like to. Dp doesn't care so makes appointments, phones sky electric company etc if needed. If he suddenly decided to stop because he thought I should do it myself or should take my turn or whatever I'd just think he was a twat

There is no issue if you both help each other. I think this has been stated, oh, about 100000000 times.

The problem is that loads of women do all the shitwork while the men get all the lovely glorious fun work that people say they're oh so clever and respsonsible for being able to cope with.

And yellow if i were hyperventilating about packing or washing then he would start and we'd be rubbish together! :) However, he has often intervened when i am in tears of frustration and cursing at the computer. I suppose he could let me get on with it and 'make me learn' or say he could never be with someone who can't read instructions - but fortunately for both of us he doesn't :)

I don't think you're actually reading my posts. But ok. Whatever.