to want to punch a dolphin?

[SillyBeardyDaddyman]

Right in his smug face.

Bastards the lot of em. Especially flipper. What a dick.

Anyone else want to join me? Or do you have your own brand of animal hatred? Want to kick a meercat? I'm not gonna stop you...

And if I didn't it probably wouldn't be on porpoise!

Porpoise

Mintyy, obv no-one is going to punch an actual dolphin, or a panda or a gnat. It's just a bit of silliness. We are all just being a bit outrageous and silly because some of us need the light entertainment and just want to stop being so serious.

Punching a dolphin is just out there along with shagging a gnat. It can't be done.

See these posts as just words ok? They don't mean anything. Just randomness.

If you really don't like it then you can just hide it.

I think I've taken quite a lot of time out to explain this sense of humour to you now. Some people get it and some don't. But it's harmless. Ok?

Anyway, a list of animals I would quite like to punch:
Black fucking Beauty
Alexander the cunting Meercat
ET (does he count?)
Talking hamsters
Any animal that appears on You've Been Framed
Kittens that are photographed arranged in a fucking basket
The Andrex puppy
Skippy the irritating kangaroo
Most wildlife presenters

Mosquitoes.
I fucking hate mosquitoes.

We have an electric bat thing that grills them. It's brilliant!

Is there a queue to drop kick small yappy dogs that get carried about in handbags?

Or to aim a shotgun at the computer-generated-rage-inducing-fake-Andrex-puppies? (I'll leave the real ones to you Rhubarb).

Luffs rhubarb

at ET!

I can't kick my animal as it's too small, flappy and would only flap about an inch even if I got a toe to it.

I could burn one though. And all the rest of the useless bastards.

Moths.

Moths are fucking stupid bastards - it's a LIGHT BULB thicko

Hamsters - bitey fuckers

Arf at Porpoise.

I am to busy immacing babies to get round to punching penguins, so no worries on my account.

It's a bit much that Manatee was on this thread posting dolphin-punching links. What is a manatee if not a fat lazy algae covered dolphin/elephant?

Macing babies? a bit harsh surely honeydragon

I wouldn't recommend it, it's very high on my list of epic parenting fails.

I thought she was too busy using Immac on babies? No?

I tried using Immac on my baby once, look what happened on my profile.
She wasn't too happy.

I punched a bee once. By accident. I think it was suicidal and flew into my fist on purpose.

bad dolphin!

more bad dolphin!

I would like to punch a Great White Shark. With a very very very very long stick from a very very very etc safe distance.

latara you could use one of these

I would also like to invent an odourless insect repellent bodyspray that not only repels mosquitoes & wasps - but makes them DIE as soon as they get near me. Or if it CROSSES THEIR MIND to make a sodding NEST outside my bedroom window EVER AGAIN BASTARD WASPS !!!

Best. Thread. Ever. Has even tempted me out of fulltime lurking.

I need to punch all cats and all slugs. They are pure evil. Still feeling queasy about what I just found in the garden, will attempt to post a photo to share the full horror of the situation.

I thought slugs ate leaves and twigs

(Scuse the shit name, last posted in early pregnancy, will also attempt to change that)

No SBDaddyman - i could use that to deal with my (married!) neighbour who's old enough to be my father ffs! next time he gets drunk & shouts 'I love you Latara' (cringe) from his garden...

BooBoos - it's ok; i will just send my Persian cat round to yours - instead of punching her just roll her round the garden then all the slugs will stick to her fur & then she will pull them off & eat them as usual (one of her weirder habits).

Fucking fuckity fuck! I clicked on the link to the fish parasite tongue monster thing; please can someone pass the brain bleach?

I would punch an ostrich and a seagull and a chicken and a swan and a cat. I sat on a cat once (not on purpose) and thought I'd grown a tail.