To have not shown my boss any sympathy about her dying dog?

[BupcakesandCunting]

I know. Sounds like a thread designed to cause a ruck, doesn't it?

Basically, it's this. My boss is a heartless, immature cow. She is , still lives with her parents and has no clue how the real world works. She is a massive hypochondriac, I mean seriously, she is ill EVERY time I go into work. She always has to leave early/go on extended lunch breaks for some reason. She is a frigging nightmare.

In January, I had to take time off to look after DS when he has chickenpox. Not much time, a few days, but she didn't like it. Then in February her dog died. She had three days off and I left her a card saying that I was thinking of her. Then in March I had to take another day off because I was ill. She was vile about it.

Now her other dog is dying. At work on friday, she kept saying that everytime she thought about her sick dog, she felt ill. Her entire family were taking the dog to the vets the next morning and she took the morning off to go with them. I think it's pathetic that she gets this upset over a dog yet has no empathy for sick children. I didn't show her any sympathy at all. I felt like chinning her tbh.

Oh dear...

I know.

you both sound really lovely

I don't doubt your boss is a hag, but all things being squared, I reckon dead dog trumps chicken pox.

I usually am really lovely. I just don't appreciate being given a talking to for taking time off for an ill child then seeing her take days/hours off here and there for a pet.

If she'd been nicer about my situation, I would be sympathetic/supportive.

TBH - I think that she sounds like a roit cah of a boss and I can sympathise as to why you feel a bit eggy towards her dying dog.

I have a funny feeling the dog lovers won't see it that way...

Does she have kids of her own?

If not, it can be very hard to empathise.

I agree dead dog trumps CP

But I can't believe I just typed it

Dead/near dead dog beats chickenpox but as a manager she should be more accommodating to your needs and as a human being you should be nicer.

Hth's

Does she view the dog as a surrogate child? If so, equals

I did think that, TouTou

Of course I'd rather her dog was not dying but I just can't muster it up to dole out hugs/tea to her. She has no empathy for anyone else. I have worked with her for 7 years and this is the first time I've been openly off towards her.

Neither of you will ever see each other's point of view - you don't have a dog nor do you like them and she (presumably) doesn't have children and may not particularly like them. Your child's illness troubles you, understandably, her dog's death troubles her, equally understandably. Neither of you are obliged to feel the other's pain. Isn't it easier to just accept the fact that you are never going to like or empathise with each other and just concentrate on being as professional as possible, both thanking your lucky stars that you don't have to deal with one another once you've left the workplace?

She sounds like a cow. YANBU.

Sorry but three days off for a dead dog?
As an adult that's quite obscene!

I'm a dog lover and took two days off when our dog died. But then I wouldn't be mean about anybody taking days off for an ill child. So I think that she is being very unreasonable and you are being a little unreasonable.

But...the dog is dying, Buppers. Shuffling off this mortal coil. About to exit stage left. It doesn't have a cold or owt. When my dog dies, you'd better wear black

Am with Worra and pictish.

I am a dog lover. But can see why you feel like this. And I think the fact that you appear to be mildly horrified about how you feel shows what a shit unempathetic boss she is.

One of those days was to take the dog to the vet to be put down, might I add. I didn't take two days off to mourn.

2 dogs dying in less than 6 months so trumps chickenpox.

dead dog does not trump chicken pox for most employers, though. Or in employment law - parents and carers have the right to take leave to look after sick children/vulnerable adults, pet owners don't have any right to take time off for sick animals. Try taking sick leave for a dead dog and see how you get on in most offices! Your boss is taking the mick, goodness only knows why she's getting away with it.

(I have pets btw, am not unsympathetic, but your boss sounds, um, barking...)

Graham, I am not saying what I think she should expend her emotional energies on but rather that if she is going to take time off for a dog, she should suck it up when I take time off my child.

My boss was rather unsympathetic when I requested a day off work to go to my uncle's funeral who died of cancer and "hoped he wasn't a smoker otherwise he deserved lung cancer". I was fucking outraged I can tell thee. Roll on 3 months he took off best part of a week off work because his dog died. Personally I very shocked to discover that week that he might actually be capable of having real feelings and be half human after all.

I hate dogs so YANBU, a child burping means more to me than a dog

edam, I hadn't even thought of the HR implications!

She is a lonely dog-lover who lives with her parents and has mental health problems. She's probably mean to you because you are comparatively sorted and loved up and have beloved children. She shouldn't be mean, granted. And it must be hard to take. But she is having a rough old time of it if both her dogs have died within 6 months.:( So yes, you are being unreasonable.