To be fed up with my DD having to prop up the less able children

[endlesschatonthecarpet]

OK, I know I probably am being unreasonable and await a flaming! My daughter (in year 1) is very quick, very clever but not blessed with much patience! Because she is one of the top in the class she always seems to be paired with a talk partner who is finding the work more of a struggle. I completely understand that this can be useful sometimes, but it seems to happen every day and some days my DD comes hope very fed up and grumpy because she's had to "waste time". She gets what the task is once the teacher has done the initial set up and is keen to get going. This endless sitting on the carpet with whiteboards talking to another child who is not working at the same level is doing her head in! Now, I fully accept that the teacher has to consider the needs of all the children - not just my precious DD, but couldn't she at least sometimes just send the more able children off to get started while she does a bit more work with the others or pair up the bright children so they can really develop their ideas?

Obviously I've said to my DD that she needs to get on with whatever the teacher asks her to do and haven't given her any indication that I share her feelings about this practice but I do feel really frustrated on my daughter's behalf.
Anyone else feel the same or am I alone in my unreasonableness?

Mrbojangles - that doesn't sound likely, or indeed, true.

Crikey this is probably for about 5 minutes a day! Unpaid TA! Reality check please! Speaking and listening is part of KS1 literacy, what better way to practice - conversing with someone who you may not normally speak to. Learning partners in our school are randomly selected each week and work well.

That's it LeQueen. Parents think smarter children hog the limelight but in reality, they are just drifting.

FWIW: I think it's really, really wrong when a teacher constantly praises one or two children on their work and only gives them awards and stickers. Awards at my mother's work are purposely given to the child who tried hardest! When you see their little faces beaming when everyone claps..It's really something special. :)

Yes Jamie I've read the posts. I agree with those who say teachers do "use" the brighter ones to prop up the less able.

You say "Her child is paired for the purposes of the relatively brief time on the carpet, with different children (not the same child all the time)." However the OP isn't saying this is an occasional problem at all, she's saying it "seems to happen every day", which doesn't seem good planning by the teacher.

Why should the brightest children have to learn "patience" in being given work which is too easy? That's not differentiation.

My post wasn't in reply to LeQueen .....

Its a delicate balance between stretching your child academically and socially. Teacher may have it wrong in this occasion, so just speak to them and see if you can compromise.

Jamie, I'm giving examples from the adult world because other posters are arguing that knowing how to teach the less able is an important skill for adult life. You could perhaps read back through the thread to see what we are discussing here.

LeQueen you are so right. It's a damaging misconception that for the brighter children it doesn't matter if they're not stretched and challenged to do the best they possibly can. It does matter if a whole subsection of pupils are being let down.

Kirsty Yes, you can assess intelligence at age 5. But only professionals can do this - namely educational psychologists who are trained to do so. Children who are assessed at ave 5 and again at age 18 shouldn't have a very different profile 13 years on.

she's saying it "seems to happen every day",

Based on the perception of a 5/6 year old...

Why would a 5/6 year old make this up? The OP's DD is clearly finding it frustrating to have to work more slowly than she is able.

OP I think you've had some interesting responses here. Maybe book a time to go and discuss this with your child's teacher? Best way IMO!

Almost all professional jobs require effective communication with a variety of people. Schools should be teaching skills for life, not just how to pass the exams and a variety of talk partners will help in this.

Why would a 5/6 year old make this up? The OP's DD is clearly finding it frustrating to have to work more slowly than she is able.

Eh, because a 5/6 year olds perception can be very different to reality maybe..

Personally i'd advise the OP to speak to the teacher. But i'd also say that if she's concerned her child isn't be stretched enough to take the initiative herself and give her more challenging work at home.

Education isn't simply confined to the school grounds and nor is it the sole responsibility of the state education system.

No it's not and I am all for parents actually teaching their children things...But I don't see why she should have to 'top up' her daughter's education because she's not being stimulated at school?

What unfair logic for parents of gifted kids.

I see you point pink but schools should primarily be for teaching, no?

When I was a child everyone at my school was clever. I also went to brownies and guides, played in orchestras, went to holiday clubs etc with children from a whole rangebof schools and with a whol e range of abilities and I'm VERY glad I had that balance. In my professional life (medic) I get on with everyone. Cleaners, consultants, whoever I work with.

Caramel - others are perhaps misunderstanding the purpose of talk partners. As are you.

Me too LeQueen. I used to have my own reading taken off me and was put with a child on picture story books. I was definitely bloody seething!

Never assume today's less able child isn't forming ideas and plans.

DS1, who has ASD, was bottom of all his classes in primary, now at Comp level he is top of them.

'
Why should the brightest children have to learn "patience" in being given work which is too easy? That's not differentiation' no, but it is life; very few people will find a job that is all challenge, especially without going through a few levels of boring filing first.

Did I feel guilty about the children who sat with the ds's whilst theyw re getting to grips? Well, did the parents feel guilty about my time when I sat with their kids listening to them read- it was ds's Sn that freed me from work to do that after all!

Of course it should only be sometimes and there will always be schools that get things wrong as in every other aspect of life...

Anyway my experience:

I was a bright child- reading early, top of year in English at primary and all that. I used to be paired with a child who had severe SN- we were an inclusive school even in the 1970's. Long term I can only be thankful; when my own children were born with a disability I lacked that feeling of being in another world that my husband had. We might not have to teach people less able than ourselves but we may well become the parent of one. We may become one ourselves. or we might be nursed by a less academic schoolmate in a care home, have them take care of our grandchildren.

Obviously balance is important but if you think you can write off a child in the early years you re wrong. if you think you can guarantee a life free from scenarios where empathy (which is developed by these experiences) or even direct experience of those with SN or LD is a survival skill, you are wrong.

Obviously if a child isn't get enough stimulation you need to talk to a teacher, and that is your job as parent just as much as it is my job to talk to them when my boys struggle.

Also ask why your child is paired; ours is a Church school in a naice village and chooses not the very brightest but the kindest and most compassionate. When ds2 (the NT one) is chosen I am so very proud of him.

OP, my dd2 has ASD and attends a ms school, she could be descrided as 'less able' when it comes to talking with a partner, luckily all the children in her class are lovely and they fight over who's going to be her talk partner.

Surely the whole point of 'talk partners' is to improve social skills and to mix children that may not mix together at other times (so mix children from different levels/tables)?

I'm sorry that you feel your daughter is being dragged down by these 'less able' children, maybe if you explained to her 'that everyone is different and some children are less able through no fault of there own' then she may understand why she has 'talk partners' and she may grow up to except that in life you will have to work along side lots of different people.

your DD is learning social skills and empathy for others in this she doesnt need to be in such a rush this happens quite a lot in classrooms my dd would help the less social children when she was in primary she can talk the legs of a donkey but this helped both children DD that it wasnt all about her and the other child learning to socialise and chat ,

OP - as many others have suggested, speak to the teacher with an open mind as to what is actually going on.

I do find this a depressing thread, implying that children's abilities are set somehow set in stone from reception age onwards, and that children who appear less able (to a six year old eyes) are destined to remain less able! my child has/had mild language related SN, and didn't really take off with his literacy until the middle of year one. A few years on, and he is doing pretty well indeed at school, and when I was told at parents evening that he is v good at science and explains science to the other children, I didn't get the huff that he is an unpaid TA, but was absolutely chuffed to see that he is blossoming.

lurking - I am sorry you had such a rotten experience at school, and were bullied.