To be fed up with my DD having to prop up the less able children

[endlesschatonthecarpet]

OK, I know I probably am being unreasonable and await a flaming! My daughter (in year 1) is very quick, very clever but not blessed with much patience! Because she is one of the top in the class she always seems to be paired with a talk partner who is finding the work more of a struggle. I completely understand that this can be useful sometimes, but it seems to happen every day and some days my DD comes hope very fed up and grumpy because she's had to "waste time". She gets what the task is once the teacher has done the initial set up and is keen to get going. This endless sitting on the carpet with whiteboards talking to another child who is not working at the same level is doing her head in! Now, I fully accept that the teacher has to consider the needs of all the children - not just my precious DD, but couldn't she at least sometimes just send the more able children off to get started while she does a bit more work with the others or pair up the bright children so they can really develop their ideas?

Obviously I've said to my DD that she needs to get on with whatever the teacher asks her to do and haven't given her any indication that I share her feelings about this practice but I do feel really frustrated on my daughter's behalf.
Anyone else feel the same or am I alone in my unreasonableness?

I think the point the child is in year 1 is being completely lost...

lovebunny, I wouldn't want you as a teacher for my DS. If you were, I would move him to the private sector.

Love bunny- please tell me you teach in the private sector.....

I used to help others help in the 60s. I was a reading monitor and very proud of being one!

lovebunny that really doesn't come across well?? did you mean it to sound so harsh?

Ha I was a reading monitor too bruffin!

I love some of the memories MN brings up in me.

Maybe you should send her to a school for gifted children?

I think what they're probably doing is 'talking partners'. They usually swap partners so sometimes it will be a child working at the same level sometimes not.

I'm sorry to say but if your DD is in year 1 how does she 'know' these children are not her level. They tend not to tell children their levels. I'm not sure I think much of a 5/6yo child who is assuming they are cleverer than their peers. Those who are top end of the class in year 1 can just be those who've developed academic skills quicker.

Most lessons taught will have carpet time - the recommended is the child's age + 1yr. Its when the teacher does the input. All children will be expected to join it and then will go off to do their differentiated work. Your DD may be 'quick' but she could still learn stuff from talking to her peers.

EG My DS is bottom literacy group but he has oral and verbal reasoning skills above average. The fact he cannot write well does not mean he can't 'teach' someone in the top literacy group something.

FWIW I also don't agree that the more able children shouldn't help their peers. It teaches them many more important skills than just academics.

My DS taught the group how to do powerpoints last week as his teacher said he's better than her! I was proud not annoyed.

As an adult I appreciate the pov of alphabite.

As a kid I hated being on a table in charge of the younger ones ( class was mixed ages - reception, Y1 & Y2). This didn't happen all the time but was a regular thing.

If I had clearly understood what I was supposed to be achieving myself whilst helping the youngsters, and if I had had recognition for this achievement, I suspect I would have been happy with the situation. As it was I took the attitude that I wasn't learning anything myself and therefore felt bored.

So I think it's not the situation per se that is the trouble here - it's how the teacher is relating to your child about it that is the problem.

There are several things to say here:

• no class should be sitting endlessly, but there is an expectation they will spend some time on the carpet for whole class teaching, no matter how bright they are;
• they are not 'teaching' each other necessarily. Learning to have talk partners while in the infants also teaches a child that their thought and opinion is valid but the teacher will not listen to 30 children individually answer each question;
• talk partners tend to be long term pairs as the organisational horror involved in "Get with a partner" can take longer than the lesson;
• it may be that she responds well with her partner as they do not descend into chat and giggles;
• if she is in an ability group the rest of the time, she is being challenged and stimulated in different ways then. Classes are taught to the middle and differentiated/extended around that in myriad ways;
• if it bothers you that much speak to the teacher. Be prepared for a similar conversation up till year 6.

It's stories like this make me resolved that IF my (now baby) DS is clever enough he will go to a selective independent school. If he doesn't get in (ie isn't bright enough), then fine - I'm happy for him to be in a mixed ability class.

I went to a selective school. Everyone was "clever." Everyone was also an individual and recognised as such. But academically we were on an even level which made a huge difference to the pace and structure of learning.

Using small children as teaching assistants sometimes is fine. Regularly - no, not ok at all.

I think from the posts its when the cleverer/ well behaved child has to regularly support their peers it becomes an issue. Obviously they should not be used as unpaid TAs but occasionally helping out is to the mutual benefit of both children. I don't think YABU if you feel it's happening on a regular basis and you should speak to her teacher, however be prepared for said teacher to be very defensive as I found in RL.

There is a difference between joint learning and one child continually teaching another at the expense of their own work. How is that fair? I don't think it really even benefits the child who needs more help, they should be getting proper support from the teacher not having a child resentfully show them things they might not even fully understand themselves!

When I was a kid I knew my level because I worked out the sticker system. Dunno if they still use it now.

Maybe your child is helping the other children academically, but perhaps those children could teach her a lot about patience and understanding.

hawkmoon - I don't think there is such a thing as a selective independent school for 5 and 6 year olds

OP - chill out a bit. She's year 1.

They are six years old. Teacher assistant? Really? Really? Get a grip.

Maybe showing (by example?) to your daughter that it's fine to interact with people of all learning abilities. That might be quite good for her.

Again, I would be very interested in hearing the views of other parents of children with special needs. And of lovebunny or anyone else insinuates that a child's dissability is the parents' fault, I'll take the gloves off.

Why is patience and understanding something a child needs to learn when they're doing something academic? I learned patience and understanding from my mother teaching me to share my toys and books with my brother and friends. Not being a smartass, genuinely befuddled by this line of thought.

Oh is year 1 five year olds? Different system here.

I thought grade one was 6-7 year olds? It is here.

yes year 1 is for 5-6 year olds.

Unpaid TAs? At 6? Purhleease!

dowagers Yes, there are. Lots and lots. Over 400 children apply each year for 32 places in our local prep school. It is highly selective! And that is the norm, although there are non-selective independent prep schools too of course...

My 11 year old has learned a lot by operating in mixed-ability groups where the more 'able' (oh I love that euphemism) kids can't grab all the limelight, and everyone has to contribute.

BTW I don't really see the logic that because some privately educated people don't have to work in mixed groups, that makes Mixed Groups a Bad Thing.

Well then, for gods sake - this is a fuss about nothing.