To be fed up with my DD having to prop up the less able children

[endlesschatonthecarpet]

OK, I know I probably am being unreasonable and await a flaming! My daughter (in year 1) is very quick, very clever but not blessed with much patience! Because she is one of the top in the class she always seems to be paired with a talk partner who is finding the work more of a struggle. I completely understand that this can be useful sometimes, but it seems to happen every day and some days my DD comes hope very fed up and grumpy because she's had to "waste time". She gets what the task is once the teacher has done the initial set up and is keen to get going. This endless sitting on the carpet with whiteboards talking to another child who is not working at the same level is doing her head in! Now, I fully accept that the teacher has to consider the needs of all the children - not just my precious DD, but couldn't she at least sometimes just send the more able children off to get started while she does a bit more work with the others or pair up the bright children so they can really develop their ideas?

Obviously I've said to my DD that she needs to get on with whatever the teacher asks her to do and haven't given her any indication that I share her feelings about this practice but I do feel really frustrated on my daughter's behalf.
Anyone else feel the same or am I alone in my unreasonableness?

There's nothing in Sunscorch's posts that suggests she finds it annoying that some children find maths easy. Just that finding it easy doesn't mean you shouldn't be asked to develop other skills by trying to find the language to explain it to someone else. The benefit is not one way - from more able to less able. It is reciprocal. I explain that to my students. They tend to be teenagers though.

Agree Lequeen and hmm, being able to do something is one thing, being able to articulate in a way another child understands can be a world away. It can work with simple logic but maths can be another ball game entirely.

Some parents on this thread really need to consider demonstrating a bit more empathy. It does, at times, read as if certain posters are trying to compete at how hard their clever DCs have it. Yes, I am sure they do, but really what would you rather?

• a child considered very bright, who at times, is shunned by their classmates

OR

• a child who has learning difficulties and is, at times (probably most of the time) shunned by their classmates.

Parenting is not a competition ladies.

Its not about competing its about trying to get the point across that every child has different needs and they are individuals.

Expressions of frustration should be taken seriously whoever they come from.

Empathy would include being able to recognise that problems aren't just restricted to the less able kids...

LeQueen I sincerely hope your daughter manages to deal with the situation in a positive way, if you can't get the problem recognised, without a lot of heart ache I had over the years. The fact you seem to be very aware of it, is probably in her favour though.

The point has really been hammered home by some posters!

Maths might be a particularly good subject to use though I think. I teach Science, and it's the Physics that really gets them thinking about how to effectively use language, oddly enough. And it is a proper challenge, even for the brightest.

LeQueen - if you think selective grammar schools means your child won't ever get bored, you're naive.

Don't count your chickens, LeQueen!

My kid went to a school (from 11 to 14yrs) that used peer learning as one of their main methods. He got very tired of it "I don't mind doing it sometimes, but often it feels like a punishment when I finish my work early and spend the rest of the morning explaining it to someone else". I do think he learned valuable lessons from it, but didn't need to learn them as much or often as the school seemed to think he did. Ultimately we ended up moving him in part because of this. He was frustrated that it seemed that he very rarely was able to work with the other kids at his level or other quiet studious kids. Once he moved he was streamed. It was much harder and much more homework, but he enjoys it so much more.

Biting teeth, what if you have a kid who is both. Who is only invited to one school birthday party a year (the family that invites all the kids in the class), rarely if ever gets asked on playdates and walks around by themselves in the playground. Who has documented SEN and is also very bright. Still sucks, still cry over that kid. I sometimes half wish my kid were more average, I think life would be much easier for him.

Lequeen
I think seeker is alluding to the fact that grammars are selective so whilst your bright DD has a good chance of getting in, it is not a done deal.

I believe seeker has first hand experience of this. Or rather, second hand, as it's her son not her who was not accepted at the grammar despite being very academic.

Oh, by the way, for those who have not followed the story, seeker has been very open about the whole thing so it's not a huge indiscretion. I hope.

Hopandaskip

My DP is the same as our son and he had the same sort of childhood as your beautiful son. I really, really REALLY feel for you. I'm all too aware I'm likely to have a SN child, so a truly empathise.

Gives a big, soppy un-MNlike cuddle.

Aww lurking :)) It actually is better than it sounds, he is in a school system that really cares for and looks after kids and his SEN is not that bad and he has a couple of good friends outside of his class that he sees several times a week and we invite kids on playdates.

You may not have a child with SEN and if you do the two of you are more likely to be able to advocate and empathise.

I have to say though, in many ways giftedness is more of a challenge and harder work advocating for than the SEN and isn't improved by people thinking you are just bragging about your kid (and while we're on the topic, how do you 'prove' your kid is gifted without giving examples. Either you are tarred with the "every parent thinks their kid is gifted" brush or you are stealth boasting.

BTW, I have two sons and each post above was about a different son.

hopandaskip I have a DS just like - amazingly clever, terrible social skills. Diagnosis of HFA. No clue what to doa bout school

sittingbull while I agree with what you have written, I think it's impossible to expect.

I have a patently gifted DD. she does everything the 'right' way. She is A joy to teach and a pleasure to have in the classroom. It's not difficult to see why she is such a favourite among teachers.

I have a DS who has an IQ of almost 200 (he's 4). He is not a joy to teach, not a pleasure to have in a classroom and it's not difficult why teachers run screaming from the room at the mere mention of his name. We are at point where even his state allocated school don't want to accept him ( lets not even start on the legalities)

As a parent, I find it so difficult when people judge my DS, but I have to appreciate they do not see what I see. Most people (ESP teachers, IMHO) don't see DSs talents, they see problems.

For instance, DS is an incredible code breaker. It really is astounding. Unless you are the person responsible for the safety of him and his class. In which, the fact he keeps opening all the doors and working out the security measures is possibly a tad annoying.

I can see both sides..

Thank God mine have never had to do talk time. Sounds like the Victorian Monitor system. The closest they got to it was seating systems where girls alternated with boys there was never grouping according to ability. They spent their early years in the US educational system where social and emotional stuff was the focus until formal education really got under way at age 6 their groups had smoothed out many a wrinkle and developed a healthy esprit de corps by that age and didn't need to engage in noblesse oblige exercises that stymied anyone's academic progress.