To be fed up with my DD having to prop up the less able children

[endlesschatonthecarpet]

OK, I know I probably am being unreasonable and await a flaming! My daughter (in year 1) is very quick, very clever but not blessed with much patience! Because she is one of the top in the class she always seems to be paired with a talk partner who is finding the work more of a struggle. I completely understand that this can be useful sometimes, but it seems to happen every day and some days my DD comes hope very fed up and grumpy because she's had to "waste time". She gets what the task is once the teacher has done the initial set up and is keen to get going. This endless sitting on the carpet with whiteboards talking to another child who is not working at the same level is doing her head in! Now, I fully accept that the teacher has to consider the needs of all the children - not just my precious DD, but couldn't she at least sometimes just send the more able children off to get started while she does a bit more work with the others or pair up the bright children so they can really develop their ideas?

Obviously I've said to my DD that she needs to get on with whatever the teacher asks her to do and haven't given her any indication that I share her feelings about this practice but I do feel really frustrated on my daughter's behalf.
Anyone else feel the same or am I alone in my unreasonableness?

Perhaps the teacher is hoping that this exercise will help her learn to be more patient with others?

Maybe go in and see her teacher. Suggest the above and see what she thinks?

My kids found it character building and were quite proud to be picked to help.

If your child doesn't like it, perhaps you should have a word with the teacher?

Perhaps it's social skills your dd is learning here?

yanbu. it is a weid ideology that everyone is just expected to acept in the state sector ( I am state educated through and through btw) and while everyone quotes 'research' about its effectiveness I have yet to see any.

Could well be PJ - as I've said she's not strong in that area, but every day?

Oh, and remember that when a child says "I always have to...." what she means is " Yesterday morning I....."

Unless you've been there yourself how do you know the other children are struggling?

It's year 1. Could it not ( at least sometimes) be your child's perception and not reality?

@PJ a couple of friends were discussing this the other day and we felt that being exposed to this type of 'learning' just made us really resent people less intelligent than us. it is a feeling that we only unlearned in our early 20s when we left education.

No Seeker I don't think that's it. I ask in a chatty way who her talk partner has been. I also ask how much of her lunch she's eaten and what games she's played in the playground so it is just part of that chat - not a big deal.

It's tempting to say you're being precious about you DD, but i've worked in a class where the teacher 'leaned' on the brighter members of the class to ease her load - doing exactly what you describe. On a daily basis.

And one day, your DD will find herself being "propped up" by someone less academically able than she is, but who is more able in some other way.
Haven't you heard of the seven intelligences?

If it bothers you go and speak to the teacher, but i'm sure your dd is not doing this for every task. A virtually identical thread was started recently. Your dd may not be 'propping up' the less able children. At age 5/6 she is not going to be teaching them, maybe the school encourages mixing its pupils up to encourage them to work with others. I would think it is the norm in yr1.

My dd was/is what's known I believe as a "ghost child" which is even more fecking annoying. She spent primary school paired up with the naughty disruptive boys as they knew she would behave And produce at least some work,which master naughty would get part credit for.

Really used to distress her

Wow Ethelb

Actually state schools are expected to differentiate teaching to children's current levels and of course to move them onto the next step. This may or may not be happening in your dd's class. Without being there it's hard to tell, as others have said she may be being paired up for other reasons. It's worth speaking to the teacher to find out.

As an ex teacher this post infruriates me a little. I regularly used higher ability children as talk partners for the middle or lower ability children. This had nothing to do with higher ability children propping up other children and this comment is what annoyed me.

I used this technique for many reasons:

a) because children learn such a lot from teaching things to other children.
b) because children learn a lot from listening to other children regardless of their ability. Believe it or not children learn massively from the misconceptions of others as well as the things they understand.
c) because children need to learn to mix with different kinds of people as they often sit at the same table of the same ability for much of the day. This is a life long skill of learning to mix with a wide group of people. Do you expect when she enters the world of work that everyone will be as clever as her or will she on occasion have to listen to people who don't understand things as easily?

She is not propping up anybody. The teacher is cleverly working out talk partners for the benefit of everyone.

and by the sound of it your daughter needs to learn to mix with children who aren't as naturally bright otherwise she is going to struggle in life.

Presumably tis is only for a very short part of the day?

And are you sure you know the abilities of every child in the class?

I understand ... My dd is very well behaved and is regularly put on the table with the naughty kids, because, 'they learn manners from dd'

WTAF! surely learned behaviour is a two way street and she is picking up tips for how to muck about and get into trouble, she cant concentrate with all the distrations.

How is right for my DD to prop up the social behaviour of the others, ESPECIALLY as i am strict and DD will get into trouble with me if she copies any of the others, so really she is on a hiding to nothing.

I'd much rather her be placed on a table with people of her own ability, that way they can support each other in a helpful and positive way, and learning for learnings sake will be rewarded by peer support.

BTW her bf at school is autistic, and DD is often being pulled out of lessons to 'help' with this child. I want my dd to learn compassion and kindness so i dont object to this too much especailly when its games or lunch break, but when its more important subjects it does interfere with her learning.

But thats what happens in mixed ability schools and its another part of school life that you dont like but you have to accept.

I don't think YABU, I have a child with a speech disorder and I would be upset if he was always paired with the same (bright) child every day.

But where I would question your argument is that there can't be that many children in a class that are that far behind your daughter. Maybe it is her attitude towards others that lead her to see herself as being brighter?

My son, despite his speech problem, is doing extremely well at reading and maths, and everything else academic but he just doesn't 'look it' and I am sure other parents assume he is at the bottom of the class when in fact he is in top 5. I also know for a fact that some children (most of them girls) do not want to be paired up with him because of his learning difficulty - boys don't seem to mind so much. I have seen this myself as I help out in the class, and I have been on school trips where some of the other children refuse to hold his hand in pairs, or sit next to him. It's all about learning to play and get along with everyone, even those who are different, don't you think?

Everything that alphabite said and with bells on.

YANBU. The R/Y1 class I work in uses talk partners, but not that often. It's certainly not every day. I don't believe that a brighter child will be getting anywhere near as much out of the exercise as a less able peer. They might be learning something, but the academic lessons are not the time for children to be learning to mix with other groups of children. I also think that while they do learn from teaching other children, there are other ways that those lessons can be gained, and I don't think that explaining something to a child that doesn't understand is going to benefit the brighter child at all, it is more likely to be frustrating for them. There is no reason why the brighter children can't teach each other stuff at that age, and then the one doing the teaching actually gets to feel like they have taught.

I would let the teacher know that your dd is finding it frustrating. The teacher won't love you for it and may feel you are being a bit precious. But whose feelings do you care more about - your dds or her teacher's?

"purple I know its not nice, but we all felt we couldn't admit our feelings over the whole thing until recently. Plus the vast majority of our teachers, politicians, parents etc were ex grammer labour supporters and genunily don't want to hear it.

I was your kid when I was in grade one.

The whole 'No child left behind' is bloody cruel to everyone involved. I was teased for being a good reader, and the kid they always paired me up with was teased for being a poor reader. He lashed out at me which as an adult I could see was frustration, but as a child I felt I was being bullied and my teacher just kept putting me back with him.

It's not fair.

carabos never have heard of the seven intellegences, but I looked it up!!

Thanks for that. Sometimes (all the time) my son struggles with spacial awareness due to poor eyesight. He is great at math/logic though and his social, language and self are just great.

My DD struggle with social, being overbearing, but is great at movement, spacial and language.

literacynet.org/parents/intelligences.html