To be fed up with my DD having to prop up the less able children

[endlesschatonthecarpet]

OK, I know I probably am being unreasonable and await a flaming! My daughter (in year 1) is very quick, very clever but not blessed with much patience! Because she is one of the top in the class she always seems to be paired with a talk partner who is finding the work more of a struggle. I completely understand that this can be useful sometimes, but it seems to happen every day and some days my DD comes hope very fed up and grumpy because she's had to "waste time". She gets what the task is once the teacher has done the initial set up and is keen to get going. This endless sitting on the carpet with whiteboards talking to another child who is not working at the same level is doing her head in! Now, I fully accept that the teacher has to consider the needs of all the children - not just my precious DD, but couldn't she at least sometimes just send the more able children off to get started while she does a bit more work with the others or pair up the bright children so they can really develop their ideas?

Obviously I've said to my DD that she needs to get on with whatever the teacher asks her to do and haven't given her any indication that I share her feelings about this practice but I do feel really frustrated on my daughter's behalf.
Anyone else feel the same or am I alone in my unreasonableness?

At age 8 it is usually a child just getting it faster than others.

I wasn't in any position to help another child get it. I did enjoy it. Loved it in fact, that's quite rare. I wouldn't want a child to be put off by feeling too different.

I completely understand. Reading and creative writing have always been my niches. I was reading Harry Potter in Grade One and on all my LAP tests my reading and writing ability were years ahead of where I should have been at. I won't be braggy by saying how far ahead, but the same thing happened to me. 'Help Johnny write one of your beautiful stories Lurking!' Well often my stories didn't come to me until pencil hit paper, and if I had an idea because it was so advanced was just stared at blankly or it was more ammunition to tell me what a freak I was with my weird ideas.

Looking back, when I started secondary school I was so desperate to fir in I purposely dumbed myself down. It's only now in my further education my brains are slowly returning. If we'd had independent learning schools in my area, I truly believe I would have excelled. People are still shocked I'm not the research psychologist/vet I always wanted to be. Well, playing dumb to have friends means my grades dropped to average and now I'm working to get that ability back. I try to look at it as a blessing in disguise as I have found what I truly believe I was put on this earth to do, but tbh I am very resentful.

Oh, and earlier on I didn't view your comment about no child of yours not being a reader as you being snobby, competitive or anything else slung your way. I saw it for what it was: A comment on your love of reading. Any child of mine will be an avid reader as well! Would tolerate nothing less!

I totally agree. My DP has shocking dyslexia, never received any help as his mother is just not mentally well enough to. That was the least of his childhood problems but I digress...
Despite the dyslexia he is extremely brainy. I started by reading to him and he's moved on to audio books. His vocabulary is extending and his taste in television means I can finally turn off 'bum fights' and now we watch 'The Departed' and other twisty thrillers.

Most importantly? He's happier.

You are being unreasonable. There are so many more skills to year one - not just academic ones. Patience, learning to support and care for others will help her be a more rounded human being.

I'm the mother of a very able child by the way

Activities like this will help your DD develop those skills LeQ. Not time, but what you do in the time.

The whole 'patience' thing isn't really that true. Bright children just become resentful. At least I did.

I learned patience through my mother's teaching and other activities at school. Never through being forced to give up my learning for someone else.

Patience can be learned by having to apply yourself to a challenging, interesting task which stretches your abilities.

blueberrypickle--thought you said that very well,i know how you feel.

I asked Dd1 about talk partners at carpet time. She started giggling and told me how they had to talk about emotions. How she'd said she's bored. Her talk partner listed a whole series of emotions she was feeling, some a bit silly and wild and it still had my DD giggling about it. So on the basis of that example, I could say my DD was bored blah blah blah. Or I could in fact say she enjoyed it and it stretched her vocabulary. She is a bit straight laced at times.

(Stretched her vocab - she knew all the words, just not used them herself for feelings.)

Patience isn't learned by putting a kid in a situation where they are that frustrated and the other child lacks the ability to comprehend the same things. Children have not been taught to be teaching assistants. They can know how things work and have a good understanding but that doesn't mean they have the ability to express that to less able children. They probably could do it to someone on their own level or a higher level.

What's happening is you are putting kids into a situation where the lower ability kids aren't going to get anything out of it, and neither are the higher ones. Learning patience is only going to come if there is a positive result and the lower ability kid eventually is able to grasp something through persevience and the higher ability kid is able to feel like they have achieved that. Otherwise you just set both up for being frustrated and annoyed by the other, and ultimately its a complete failure.

I do think this is the fundamental problem that people don't grasp.

Oh give it a break with the unpaid TA role. It's 5mimutes of carpet time.

Not in all schools.

It started at 5, and didn't stop until I left school thanks. Its part of a wider problem and one that isn't just 5 mins carpet time.

But feel free to be rude and dismissive.

A 5 year old complaining that another 5 year old is not her conversational equal is ridiculous. Mountain out if molehill.

Again, feel free to be rude and dismissive. as well as not getting the point

Some of the children in my class can't explain their mathematical methodology. Apparently, this means they shouldn't be practising.

I'm sure they'll be glad to hear that.

Personally, I think that's a crock.

Not rude. You're being illogical. You request a conversational partner of the same level or higher. Well, if the other party is at a higher level it then follows that they are at a perceived disadvantage. Where's the logic in that?

Agree with lurking and hmm, the teaching methods do need to take account of individual child's needs to a degree. I also think it really depends on how much of the school day is based on this one on one with peers.

"Some of the children in my class can't explain their mathematical methodology. Apparently, this means they shouldn't be practising.

Explain to who? Cos thats important. They should be able to explain to the teacher. But explain to other kids? Especially kids who might be struggling even with the teachers explanation?

If kids are saying they are finding it frustrating, theres a clue to whether the value of this teaching method is as high as some teachers would like to believe. TBH, I think its just easier for them to bury their heads in the sand about it, and pretend it can cause problems in some cases. Whilst it probably does work for a lot of kids, there is a need to recognise where the technique is being over used and whether it might actually be damaging to some.