To call immigration about my visitors?

[Migsy1]

I feel terrible about this and I don't know if I am being harsh or whether I should follow my instincts and get away from this situation.

I was involved in a school exchange in Spain a couple of years ago. I decided to go back there at the beginning of this month for a holiday with my 3 children. The holiday was arranged by me and a couple of days before I went I contacted a family that I had been paired with on my original visit to say that we were coming over and it might be nice to meet up sometime if they were going to be available.

The woman in the family, who is originally from South America, invited us over for lots of meals which I felt very uncomfortable about as I really wanted some space with my kids. It felt overbearing but I did not wish to offend and I realise that the Spanish culture if different to mine. I visited their home for dinner more than I wanted to to initially but at first I thought the woman was being altruistic and kind.
I told her that her son was welcome to visit us for a week in the summer to improve his English.

As the week progressed I found out that the family was having difficulty finding work and want to emigrate to the UK. The woman asked could she and her son could come over for a week at the end of this month to stay with me to see what the UK is like. I reluctantly agreed and she booked the flights before I could email her to put her off. She is due to arrive next week and has made it clear that she is bringing her CV and wants me to help her find work and possibly accommodation. She also wants to use my address to demonstrate to border control that she is only coming here to visit friends.

She has no entitlement to live or work in the UK. I feel that her hospitality in Spain was used to take advantage of me so that I could be a portal for her to enter the UK illegally. I am worried that she might try to stay longer in my home than the agreed week, especially if she cannot find accommodation. Her non-English speaking husband and his South American friend actually suggested that they live in my house and refurbish it in return whilst they look for building work in the UK!

Am I right to be freaked out by this? Do you think I should just call immigration and tell them of her true intentions so that they are not let into the country? I am worried that I am being dragged into something complicated, that as a single mum with 3 kids, I can well do without. I am seriously stressed by this!

Why not ask her when her return flight is and ensure you drop her off at the airport in plenty of time for it? I don't see how she can extend her stay with you unless you allow her to.

I don't think she's done anything (yet) worth reporting to immigration. Is she a Spanish citizen? If so she can come and go as she likes in the UK...

Omg are you serious? Bloody hell. With friends like you...

Do NOT call immigration. How do you know her status anyway? If she has right to remain in Spain she may have rights to enter the UK - if she doesn't, border control won't let her in. Let her stay for the week then send her on her way with a cheery wave. Don't get sucked in to giving more aid than you can by vclearly maintaining your boundaries. And next time don't agree to let randoms come to stay!

At this stage she has done absolutely nothing wrong.

When she arrives, clarify that she is staying a week, if she indicates she wants to stay longer then tell her she'll have to find alternative accommodation.

Tell her point blank she cant come to yours and that you are not comfortable with the arrangments, this is a can of worms waiting to be opened. Dont enter in to any other correspondence with her after you have told her no.

So rather than just tell her that she cannot come, which you could invent a family crisis to cover that, you would have her possibly wrongly held and her children, probably seperately and incarerated ?

WTF is wrong with you?

Do you know how immigration works and it's treatment towards children?

I agree with GP. You are right to listen to your inner alarm system. This has the potential to turn into you hosting an entire family while they knock seven bells out of your home in 'payment' for your hospitality.The danger is that once the woman and her son turn up then-surprise" here comes some othert family members. Even if the original visitors go home on time you then have to deal with the uninvited.

You have not invited them ,you have not asked for home improvements and you certainly havent offered to sponsor anyone .I guess if you had intended to host exchange students you would go through the proper channels. So should they.

Distance yourself from this family and stop this before it starts.

Surely she is coming over to 'visit' you and on the off chance might find work? so far she has don nothing wrong (she's bringing her CV just incase there is a job for her), as long as her flights are 'return' flights then there shouldn't be a problem. Just make sure she knows that she can only stay with you for a week, what ever happens after that is up to her and not your problem.

I would be extremely cautious as her sudden plans and escalation beyond the weeks stay is obvious, it all sounds calculated to take advantage of the op and her circumstances, and she might find she is the prisoner in her own home, following the sudden turning up of the husband and other male members of the family. it sounds like they have a plan for when they are get here, and the ops address is smack in the middle of it. I think the op is very vulnerbale to being manipulated, and has been all along.

If she is a Spanish citizen (do you know whether she is ? she may have been naturalised if she's been there a long time or she may have Spanish citizenship from a Spanish ancestor who moved out there) then she does have the right to live and work in the UK.

If she is a legal Spanish resident (which she certainly is) then I think she probably has the right to stay for up to three months, but I'm not sure about that.

At this point in time she has done nothing wrong - if she tries to stay for longer than her week you can just say no. What are you planning to contact immigration about ? And at the current point in time she can legitimately tell Immigration she's staying with friends for a week because it's true. If she changes her mind later on then you may have a question to ask.

It's a bit late to grow a backbone now isn't it?

You could quite simply have stopped at one meal with the family and then continued with your holiday like most people would have.

Should add, if you don't feel comfortable having her then that's perfectly fair, but there doesn't seem to be any reason to call immigration at this point in time.

The trouble is when you have crying mums and kids in your house it will be very hard to deal with without caving in to gentle demands shall we say and emotional black mail, this has shit storm written all over it.

"At this stage she has done absolutely nothing wrong."

But she is planning to do wrong. And if border control knew what she was planning, she would NOT be allowed in the UK.

"How do you know her status anyway?"

If she was coming in legally to work, she would not need to demonstrate to border control that she had been legitimately invited by the OP.

OP you really need to tell it to them straight. You are uncomfortable with them coming here to work and you do not want to facilitate illegal activity. The invite has turned into something you did not mean it to be, and you are sorry but they can no longer stay with you. They might try to backtrack, and say, "oh we'll just come for the visit," but I would bet you they don't get on that return flight home, and they disappear. They need you to get past border control, and once they're in, they're in.

If they want to come to the UK to work, tell them they need visas and direct them to the immigration website.

You are right to be freaked out. I am freaked out just reading your post as a pleasant week's holiday turns into a bit more and a bit more, until the entire family and their hangers on are not only proposing to move in with you, but want to start making alterations to your house.

As you found it too difficult even to refuse meals with her when you would rather have done something else, you might have a job to send her on her way after a week. So, at this stage, I think it would be wise to follow Guiltypleasures advice and just put her off completely.

Nobody can take advantage of you if you don't let them. If they try to extend their stay, just be firm and say it's not possible for you.

I think it's pretty appalling that you would chuck a mother and her son into the immigration system (which does NOT treat people well, at all) just because you can't say no to someone.

I disagree GuiltyPleasures.

I cannot for one second imagine somehow being coerced into extending a week's visit if I didn't want to

You make it sound like the OP has no choice!

"sudden turning up of the husband and other male members of the family"
"prisoner in her own home"

How, without her co-operation? Surely a swift "no" followed by a trip to the airport suffices?

If you are really that afraid, then tell them there's a family emergency and they can no longer stay with you. But don't lead them to think they're invited and then call immigration. Good lord.

you seem to have an inability to say "no".

And how do you know that she would be here illegally?

I wouldn't let them come and stay. No way. What if it goes wrong? You're going to find it very hard turfing kids out on to the street with nowhere to live.

@Paiviaso. They don't really need the OP to get past border control though, do they ? If they are planning on illegal immigration they could just book a cheap weekend break in London and ask for a tourist visa. Last time I was in London it was heaving with tourists, many of them from non-EU countries. I assume that if they had a hotel booked and a return plane ticket, they'd be let in : if anything, knowing people in the UK might be taken as a sign you want to stay.

Do you know if she is naturalised or Spanish by descent? If so, under EU law she is perfectly entitled to come to live and work here. (You could try to sneak a peek at her passport if you wanted to find out).

The problem will come if she tries to stay more than a week, or brings all these random other people with her. You need to be very, very clear about the length of time she is welcome, and the limits of who you are expecting. Ask now about when her return flight is booked for. See what sort of answer you get before assuming the worst.

Hi OP,

This does sound very complicated because of the fact that she's South American (& her DH too?) which means immigration is seriously strict compared to if she were Spanish.

I think you are absolutely right to be on your guard about their true intentions, it sounds like they are keen for work (and who can blame them?).
My husband has his own business so is up to speed on this sort of thing, and I know penalties for aiding illegal immigration are tough. It really is very illegal!
If for eg, she used yr name to prove she's staying with friends and then actively sought work, and it could be proved you were aware, that could get you in trouble I think (I'm no expert though).

At same time I agree with cake bump and other posters, as yet you have nothing to report and may not!

Basically you went on hols for defined period, met up with them had a nice time, came home. Make it massively clear you expect same to happen. Smile politely about kind renovation offers etc but say you're happy with your house, arrange for your mother, sibling etc to come and stay at end of their stay, and don't feel guilty. Mention that they must not look for work when in Uk (unless Spanish?) as you could all end up in prison! They might think UK is not very strict, reinfom then if necessary.

I know other posters think you're being harsh but a friend got entangled (whilst travelling) with a Chilean girl a few years ago and ended up proposing to help her stay in uk. It got very messy and he felt guilty as he liked her and felt bad that she couldn't get work at home but realised that was not a good reason to marry someone!
She's fine now and working (legally!) in south Africa. But it's surprisingly easy and understandable to end up trying to help people you hardly know and it's dodgy ground when it comes to illegal working.

OP, can you clarify something ? Your post sounds as if the woman is South American but her husband is Spanish. Is that the case ?

If her husband is Spanish then she has the right to work.

If you don't have the guts to say don't come, just block their email address and don't respond to any letters. Screen phone calls. Then they won't be able to come, will they?

Personally I would just say that the whole thing has got out of hand and you withdraw your invitation to the son or anyone who would like to turn up, and then never contact them again. Who cares about offending some pushy people who live in a different country?