To call immigration about my visitors?

[Migsy1]

I feel terrible about this and I don't know if I am being harsh or whether I should follow my instincts and get away from this situation.

I was involved in a school exchange in Spain a couple of years ago. I decided to go back there at the beginning of this month for a holiday with my 3 children. The holiday was arranged by me and a couple of days before I went I contacted a family that I had been paired with on my original visit to say that we were coming over and it might be nice to meet up sometime if they were going to be available.

The woman in the family, who is originally from South America, invited us over for lots of meals which I felt very uncomfortable about as I really wanted some space with my kids. It felt overbearing but I did not wish to offend and I realise that the Spanish culture if different to mine. I visited their home for dinner more than I wanted to to initially but at first I thought the woman was being altruistic and kind.
I told her that her son was welcome to visit us for a week in the summer to improve his English.

As the week progressed I found out that the family was having difficulty finding work and want to emigrate to the UK. The woman asked could she and her son could come over for a week at the end of this month to stay with me to see what the UK is like. I reluctantly agreed and she booked the flights before I could email her to put her off. She is due to arrive next week and has made it clear that she is bringing her CV and wants me to help her find work and possibly accommodation. She also wants to use my address to demonstrate to border control that she is only coming here to visit friends.

She has no entitlement to live or work in the UK. I feel that her hospitality in Spain was used to take advantage of me so that I could be a portal for her to enter the UK illegally. I am worried that she might try to stay longer in my home than the agreed week, especially if she cannot find accommodation. Her non-English speaking husband and his South American friend actually suggested that they live in my house and refurbish it in return whilst they look for building work in the UK!

Am I right to be freaked out by this? Do you think I should just call immigration and tell them of her true intentions so that they are not let into the country? I am worried that I am being dragged into something complicated, that as a single mum with 3 kids, I can well do without. I am seriously stressed by this!

I don't see how you can be made to do anything you don't want to do.

Surely you have control here, and the ability to say no to anything you are not comfortable with?

Do that.

@dreamingbohemian. Not quite : if she has used the fact that her husband has Spanish citizenship to get it as well then she has the right to work in the UK. But if Spain requires extra conditions before letting you become a citizen or she just hasn't got round to it then she doesn't.

kirsty75005

Border control will stop them if something looks amiss, like they've packed 3 full suitcases for a weekend trip, etc. I think if border control are suspicious of your intentions for entering, they make sure that you proof of your return (a return ticket, confirmation you are still employed in home country, etc), funds to cover the duration of your stay, and a reason for entering the UK (visiting family/friends, tourism). If you can't "prove" this is why you are entering (confirmation from friends, guide books and knowledge of sights, etc) then they can turn you away.

Yes yabu

If you don't want her to stay with you then say so. To call immigration is cowardly and underhand.

As other posters have pointed out, she may well have the legal right to work and stay in England too, it's not clear from your op.

Hecate-

this woman, like many of us, seems to be one of those who is willing to please others and loath to offend them. Which in some measure makes you kind and sociable, but if you take it too far is the primrose path to being used and getting into some very nasty situations.

If she doesn't want to refuse dinner invites out of respect for this (then) stranger's "different Latino culture", how do you think she will get on with telling her to leave the house on the right day when she has kids with her and they're begging about having nowhere to live and no options? Which could easily happen.

@Paviaso. Yes, of course, you're right. My point was just that - as far as getting past border control goes - I don't see why an invitation from friends and a return ticket would be "better" than a weekend booked in a cheap hotel and a return ticket ?

She may have other not great reasons for wanting to stay with the OP (it's true you can't plead with a hotel receptionnist about wanting to overstay) but I don't think that getting past border control is it.

Yabu. The real issue here is that you don't want them to come, and you're looking for excuses to stop them coming. Just tell them it's no longer convenient for them to stay with you if you don't want them there.

Can you not just ask her outright what her intentions are? And then take it from there? If you know her well enough to allow her to stay a week in your home and to spend your holiday with her, then what is wrong with a bit of polite questioning? Or tell her no, you can't accommodate her. If she falls out with you then she's hundreds of miles away, it doesn't really matter if you offend her by refusing to host her visit.

I wouldn't let anyone dictate to me about coming to stay with me.

kirsty -- if you marry an EU national, you acquire the same rights to live and work in the EU as they have (I'm an American married to a Frenchman). The only difference is you have to apply for residence cards and things like that.

If her husband is Spanish and they move to the UK, then she has the right to work there. She will have to get a residence card but that just confirms her rights, it does not grant them.

Ah... I didn't know that, I thought you could apply for citizenship but didn't know about the living and working in the EU thing.

Sorry...

Yep it's pretty great!

I just wanted to mention because perhaps the OP is thinking the same thing, and maybe she will be relieved if actually this woman is not breaking any laws or anything.

Both she and her husband are South American. She has a work permit to work in Spain (and no other EU Country) which she has to renew periodically. I am sure she has no right to work in the UK. I know that she will be looking for work when she comes - that is the purpose of her visit.
I feel that I have been sucked into this in a gradual manner and that she has manipulated a situation to her advantage. It is a turn of events that I am uneasy about. She booked the flights without me having a chance to tell her upon my return home that it would not be convenient and the more I think about the situation the more dodgy it seems to me. The arrangements have been very sudden.
She has one 14 year old son. I do not know what would happen to them if stopped by immigration I assumed they would just be refused entry and have to get the plane home. They are not fleeing for their lives from a war torn country!
I do not like the references they have made to staying in my home as it makes it obvious that they see me as some sort of passport into the UK.
She has asked me to help her find work and I have made it clear to her that I will be working myself the week she is here so she will have to find her own way around London.
I realise I sound spineless. I could tell her that there is a family emergency and that she would have to stay somewhere else but I know that she will latch onto another family from our school. By doing this I will be transferring my problem to someone else.

The bottom line is that I think that my family and I are being used for illegal purposes!

Oh for god sake people have a word with yourselves, the OP who I see has posted and never bothered to return has told us nothing but supposition and conjecture. True to form the DM brigade have jumped in stating facts that they cannot possibly know.

"This has the potential to turn into you hosting an entire family while they knock seven bells out of your home in 'payment' for your hospitality.The danger is that once the woman and her son turn up then-surprise" here comes some othert family members. Even if the original visitors go home on time you then have to deal with the uninvited."

This level of response is a waste of CO2 and electricity, we do not know because the op fails to tell us if the woman has been given Spanish citizenship. No matter her child WILL more than likely be Spanish and at school in Spain. The husband suggested, not demand or insist, or even go any further as far as we are told than float the idea of him and his brother coming over.

So lets look at things we do know shall we, they have somewhere to live in Spain. The child is of school age and so has a school place, the mother wishes to come with the child to see what the UK is like, has no one else noticed the huge numbers of Spanish people who have done exactly the same with out having anything in particular to go back to, I know my town is busy with young Spanish people who have come over on spec, leaving no ties behind them unlike this family who have a house and a school place.

Next the op says they are having difficulty "in finding work", a big difference from being long term unemployed or getting no work at all.

So I am left wondering if this is a post about a culture clash and someone not being able to work out boundaries for themselves. Or if this was a deliberate attempt to stir up anti immigrant feeling,for example what on earth is the fact that the husband and some other bloke's inability to speak English got to do with anything. She does not say is she bothered to learn Spanish before going there? Before any one starts up, let me say I work with a project that teaches basic English to newly arrived people in this country, by far and away these are from southern Europe and young, not knowing the language seems to be a small factor in the thinking of those who wish to travel looking for opportunity, indeed we had a empire built on exactly that premise.

X posted with the op, although it alters only 10% of my original post. The family still have every reason to return home unless immigration think and can prove that they have given up the school place for the child and the home in which the op ate!

Leithlurker The point about not being able to speak English is highly relevant to whether you will be allowed to work in the UK. I am not being racist, just stating a relevant fact which you can verify on the Home Office website.
The son was not born in Spain either.

I'm sorry but you are stating this very clearly, op, and I can't understand why you aren't doing the same to her? You say she doesn't have a uk work permit but that she says that the purpose for the visit is to find work? Well why the hell can't you just say to her "that is illegal and therefore it won't be possible for you to stay in my house as I won't get involved in anything like that. I would have to report you to the authorities if you came to my house wanting to stay with me."

I don't get what the problem is really?

No it is not relevant at all , see my point about the project I work with. The level of English needed is actually pretty small, intermediate would be enough we are mainly talking about people being kitchen porters, cleaners, shop staff, waiting staff domestic helps. Not lawyers or brain surgeons.

Perhaps then OP if you tell us the whole story in one rather than drip major factors like the sone not being born in spain could be taken in to account. Although again they have ties to where they are, which unless you should have told us you know for a fact that they intend giving up still suggests this is still nothing more than a scouting expedition on the mothers part.

curlyhairedassassin You are absolutely right. The problem is that I agreed to her coming before I fully understood the circumstances.
Yes, I think I will tell her that I now understand that what she intends to do is illegal. I know she will argue with me but as someone else has said, she lives hundreds of miles away so I can block her.

If they were Spanish, they would have the right to work here, even if they had not one word of English. They live in Spain, they speak Spanish, but THEY ARE NOT SPANISH!

Migsy, I wouldn't feel bad. She does not sound like a friend; it sounds as if you are being used. If she feels offended, she has brought it on herself.

It is not illegal, you cannot possibly make that call as you have no idea what the terms of her work visa are. You also say she was born in south america but not if she is working towards being a nationalised Spanish citizen which if she is would be a huge reason not to do anything illegal.

Thanks CecilyP That is the problem. I think I am being used and I think you are right that I should not feel guilty about telling her she cannot come.

Leithlurker She has no right to work in the UK! That is why she needs to prove to border control that she is only visiting otherwise they will not let her in. Hence the return flight and my address. I KNOW for a fact she will be looking for work because she has told me.

Leith, if she's entering on a tourist visa (which I guess she would have to) then it is illegal for her to look for work.

They are really intrusive at the airports if they get suspicious at all. They will search your bags, go through everything on your laptop if you have one, your address book and diary. It would actually be fair to warn her off, because if they look in her bag and find CVs they will definitely send her back. And if you are denied entry, depending on the cause, you can be banned from returning for months or years.

You have no other option, migsy, unless you want to risk getting into trouble yourself. If I were you, I would email her asking her EXACT intentions - length of stay and double check the reason for her visit. If it sounds like it is illegal tell her that in your next reply and say that you cannot risk letting her stay. Tell her that if she does turn up at your house then you won't be able to put her up and would feel like you would have to then inform the authorities. Be VERY clear about that. She might try and make out that it was all a misunderstanding of course and she would only be coming for a holiday but just reply that you are not wiling to take the risk.

End of.