To call immigration about my visitors?

[Migsy1]

I feel terrible about this and I don't know if I am being harsh or whether I should follow my instincts and get away from this situation.

I was involved in a school exchange in Spain a couple of years ago. I decided to go back there at the beginning of this month for a holiday with my 3 children. The holiday was arranged by me and a couple of days before I went I contacted a family that I had been paired with on my original visit to say that we were coming over and it might be nice to meet up sometime if they were going to be available.

The woman in the family, who is originally from South America, invited us over for lots of meals which I felt very uncomfortable about as I really wanted some space with my kids. It felt overbearing but I did not wish to offend and I realise that the Spanish culture if different to mine. I visited their home for dinner more than I wanted to to initially but at first I thought the woman was being altruistic and kind.
I told her that her son was welcome to visit us for a week in the summer to improve his English.

As the week progressed I found out that the family was having difficulty finding work and want to emigrate to the UK. The woman asked could she and her son could come over for a week at the end of this month to stay with me to see what the UK is like. I reluctantly agreed and she booked the flights before I could email her to put her off. She is due to arrive next week and has made it clear that she is bringing her CV and wants me to help her find work and possibly accommodation. She also wants to use my address to demonstrate to border control that she is only coming here to visit friends.

She has no entitlement to live or work in the UK. I feel that her hospitality in Spain was used to take advantage of me so that I could be a portal for her to enter the UK illegally. I am worried that she might try to stay longer in my home than the agreed week, especially if she cannot find accommodation. Her non-English speaking husband and his South American friend actually suggested that they live in my house and refurbish it in return whilst they look for building work in the UK!

Am I right to be freaked out by this? Do you think I should just call immigration and tell them of her true intentions so that they are not let into the country? I am worried that I am being dragged into something complicated, that as a single mum with 3 kids, I can well do without. I am seriously stressed by this!

I'm not going to call immigration. I did consider it when I was panicking. I will not do it now.

flatbread you are very naive

Yes, what do I know? I have only lived and worked in six countries, married dh from another country, travelled around the world, partaken and provided hospitality to family, friends and acquaintances...

I guess I have to become an accredited member of BNP and an avid DM reader to learn that these damn forriners cannot be trusted

Migsy1
I would very careful in making blank statements such as she does not fit criteria to work here and it is illegal for her to come here and look for jobs.
These are certainly going in your favour and you obviously are uneasy for them to come over, both the mum and the son.
You feel manipulated, which you might well have been.
However immigration is a very complex thing and unless you are a lawyer specialized in that area, I would not be making such general statements.

BUT, you have no need whatsoever to look for legal reasons for her not stay with you.
At some point when you were in Spain, or on coming to the UK, you should have just told her 'No the invite is for your son, not you'. I also suppose that by not wanting to upset anyone you have let them think it was OK with you to come over like this (The woman after all never hid that she wanted to look for work in the UK. If this was such an issue for you, you could have told her so at the time).
And why the heck do you feel guilty? and wanting send them money? And she doesn't listen???
You really need to grow some and learn to be much more assertive than you are rather than putting all the blame on others.

I don't need to be an expert on immigration procedure. The OP is not seeking legal advice on immigration. We all know that border control in any country can stop anyone from entering a country, on the flimsiest reason. That is not the point.

OP is just stirring up trouble for someone else because she is is a cowardly xenophobe.

It is not illegal to visit a country and explore whether it is a place you want to work and live in the future. How many of us have gone to NZ or Australia or any other fascinating country to see whether we like the place to perhaps live there one day ? How many of us have sat with friends and chatted about the culture, job opportunities and looked at real estate agent windows to see how much house you can get for your money?

Nor is carrying your CV is not a crime. I always have my CV with me on a data stick, along with other important paperwork, when I travel. This thread is seriously insane.

OP is just stirring up trouble for someone else because she is is a cowardly xenophobe.
I said earlier that I was panicking and I have no intention of alerting immigration.

The OP is right to have come to the decision not to call immigration, mainly because it would have no effect at all :). If the woman is legal in Spain - and it does not sound like she was in hiding there - then she has the right to enter the UK. If she is a Spanish citizen she can work in the UK without any restriction. She is not doing anything wrong by entering the UK and Immigration will not understand why the OP would want to call them at all. If the woman is not legal in Spain then she won't be allowed to enter the UK and she will be put on a plane back to Spain immediately. In this case the OP will never see her or her son.

From a British point of view the request to stay for a week at your house may seem excessive - it is not from a Hispanic cultural background. If the OP did not want to offer this level of hospitality, she should have said so immediately and unambiguously.

Yesterday I woke up in a panic about the whole thing hence my knee-jerk reaction about calling immigration as I suddenly felt threatened by the situation. I have read this thread with interest and I have appreciated everybody's reply. There are many different opinions and thank you for them.

I think she has manipulated me, but nevertheless, I offered her hospitality and she booked flights on the basis of that. I will let her and her son stay with me for the week but I will be very firm about my boundaries. I think her pushiness is astounding and as I result I will not worry about offending her if she asks too much of me (which I am sure she will). It makes me very cross with that she wants to impose herself on me for her own ends rather than coming here because she actually wants to enjoy being with me and my family. For this reason, I feel used.

However, I have got into this mess myself. It would be unfair to cancel now that she has booked her flights. The other family here has offered to "take" her on certain evenings/days and I know they will help me out with this.

You might flame me for not saying "don't come here" to her. You have offered me good advice and it has been worth listening to it all. It has got things straight in my head for me. The main thing is that I must not let the woman demand on me once she is here. I will certainly not help her find work and I will not engage with her plans to move to the UK. At best, her plans are fanciful, at worst they are illegal. I'll make no apologies for not wanting to support an illegal immigration attempt but I must give her the benefit of the doubt and assume she has no idea that as a non-EU citizen it will be extremely unlikely she will get a work permit given that she does not have a "shortage" occupation/skill.

I don't think she will harm my family and if she attempts to stay longer than invited I will tell her to leave.

Lunatic, I don't know what you are going on about. None of us, including OP, know the legal status of OP's acquaintance. This talk about what immigration might do and what the poor woman might do once she is in the UK are pure conjecture and bordering on the hyterical, imo.

You are welcome to differ. Glad that OP is not planning to call immigration

x posted. Good for you Migsy. Don't let anyone steam-roll you in your own house and you might be surprised, it may turn out to be an enjoyable visit, after all.

Interesting thread! Migsy, did she reply to your email re more detail re her visit? Or will you just leave things and see what happens when they're here?

I would be quite hurt if someone said they were coming to stay with me; then pissing off to look for jobs instead of actually wanting to spend time with me.
Fair enough if you've been friends for years but she sounds like a blatant user - if she was a British woman who you met in the playground would you put up with that user attitude?

It sounds like you're letting her visit; so make sure you get something out of the visit eg. her company & fun; help her with a CV maybe for a couple of hours in return but that's all - she's already getting a week's free accommodation & food.
Just be aware - this woman is not likely to find a job easily that pays for accommodation & then she may well ask to stay longer... DO NOT give in or before you know it your house will be getting renovated...

Ps. glad you aren't calling immigration - grassing people up for 'possibly' being an illegal immigrant is not nice or moral (unless they are actual proper criminals eg rapists, robbers, heroin smugglers etc).

if she is caught at immigration with a cv ect she could be refused as she is not allowed to work here so although looking for work is not illegal carrying her cv ect could be seen that she is going to work

Sorry, but that's nonsense. My ds1 and his American girlfriend travel everywhere with their laptops. On both respective laptops they keep a current copy of their cv. Not because they intend to work in countries where they have no entitlement to do so (ds1 in the USA, his GF in Britain, for example) but because it's just commonsense to have an updated version handy. At no point has immigration or border control ever stopped them and questioned this.

PS. Sorry to be pedantic but it is etc (an abbreviation of etcetera) not ect.

I'm really pissed off. I'm going to be away for a night and she even sent an email to another person she knows from the exchange to see if she could stay with them whilst I am away. She even said "You have invited me so can I stay with you for a couple of days whilst Migsy goes to her interview?"
She seems to be the kind of person who will latch on to any offer of help or hospitality and make the most of it.
She is certainly no friend because a friend wouldn't take so much advantage.
We have both emailed her setting out what we can and cannot do for her.

Oh Migsy - this still going on.

I'm sure that as long as you keep it to her and her ds it will be fine.

The mum might want to look for a job in that week - why not?Goodness, when I've been abroad I've often looked at jobs and rental prices etc. Nothing bad about that.

I don't think you're xenophobic but I do think you're worried about the crossing the line with UKBA and you think this lady is going to make you cross the line. You have offered her and her ds a place to stay based on some exchange programme and that's about as far as your input goes.

I'm sure it's going to be fine as long as her dh and the other friend don't come along as you seemed worried about stange men in your home (as would I).

What does your dc think about all of this?

The DCs are fine about it as they really like her son (he is lovely). Her husband is not coming.
This time next week it will be almost over.
I've had some good news today about another really important, life changing, issue that was worrying me massively. I feel like a weight has been lifted which will make the visit less stressful now.

How did this turn out?

She went yesterday. It was one of the longest weeks of my life! She kept going on about God the whole time. It turns out she is a member of a church that teaches a Prosperity Gospel. Basically, if you ask, you will receive and is theologically extremely dubious. Think big churches in the States that ask you for your money.

She was totally obsessed with money, and has a real "victim" mentality. She is racist and does not like Pakistanis, blacks, Jews, Muslims etc. In fact, she seemed to hate everyone except for members of her weird church. She has a talent for getting material things from people, e.g., food from her church, her church friends paying for her wedding, free accommodation from me, her CV written by the other family from school (guy worked in recruitment).

She was very pushy and tried to demand a lot.

All I'll say is that I was sucked in big time and I will not be repeating the experience!!!!

She didn't find a job.

Good riddance to her!

Travelling with your cv on a laptop or data stick is one thing, travelling with printed out paper copies is another. How do you do that, and then day your intention isn't to find work?!

Whenever I've applied for jobs the form has asked for evidence you have the right to live and work in the UK.

Oops, posted too soon. Glad it was a good outcome OP (getting rid of her!)