WWYD 5yr old 'racist' comment

[lola88]

When i picked my niece up from school on thursday the teacher told my there had been an incident with a little boy calling her a 'black face' she is mixed race. I was totally shocked she has never had any sort of racist comments before so was new for me to deal with tho i'm sure it won't be the last. The teacher spoke to the boys mum and DN seems fine about it to her it's just like being called any other name.

The thing thats annoying me is the boys mum i have spoke to her a couple of times and see her around a lot, but she's not said a word about it. If i was in her shoes i would want to say something but she has totally ignored me giving me cold looks if i catch her eye. I don't get it i tried to give her a 'kids will be kids' smile when it happened she just stalked off past me.

I don't know how to say this without sounding dramatic but i'm worried she's not said anything because maybe she herself has a problem with racism friends i've spoke to have suggested it saying he must have picked it up at home but i don't know.

WWYD if your child said that and you sort of knew the other childs parent/aunt? I'm so worried that if she's not dealing with it it could turn nasty for DN

oops...Thumbwitch

I think its not racism as such because it only refers to one specific type of white person not all whites and its just as likely a white person will use the term "red neck" as an insult about another white person.

I suspect that it isn't about not taking offense at name calling but when you are the majority (assuming red-necks in Lynchburg are in the majority!), its hard to find it threatening or serious or a method of singling you out as being different by virtue of your colour of facial features.

Offensive and racist aren't synonymous. Though I find being polite covers most bases.

The other mum may not have been told that her son had called your dn black face.

I have a 5 year old who is white and I'm not sure he'd understand why saying someone has a black face is ok but calling someone black face is not. After all we call people blonde and that's not considered rude.

crazy - so your 5 year old plays in the playground and calls the children "blonde girl" "fat girl" "ginger boy"? Surely he just calls them by their names?

I've never heard a 5 year old call anyone "black face".

Agree.

Five years old.

That's all. What his mum thinks is not really relevant to you is it?

Do not become obsessed with this OP.

There really is nothing here.

MrsDevere-please don't tell me you would like to grip a five year old lad round the neck?

Don't be silly piglet.
Although I didn't really need to answer that did I?
You are being provocative.
But wouldn't it have Benin marvellous for you if I answered yes. What fun you could have had

I guess white people don't take offense to being called names

Yep you're right, white folk are just sooo tolerant they take it in their stride, whereas black people have been taking offence to racial abuse and discrimination for years-the intolerant bunch.

Why would I take offence to being called white? I've never experienced racism like minorities have.

Totally agree AmberLeaf

I am White and live in a city in the UK. I have suiffered racism a number of times because of this fact. It is grossly offensive.

That's sad Sole :( Racism is terrible, no one should ever experience it.

No of course i wouldn't go up to someone and say 'Hello black man' but it is perfectly acceptable to call someone white, but not to any other race.

Sadly, racism is very much alive and kicking anywhere in the world. I do think in time, there will be significantly less of it. Not in my lifetime though, unfortunately.

Kate

It is also acceptable to call someone black, but its all about context as kewcumber outlined upthread.

yes, your right. It is about the context, i have met some racist people, and their views are disgusting.

I think it is worse when kids say it, as they've probably picked it up from an adult which is a very inappropriate way to talk around a child.

I like to think in generations to come we'll all end up mixed race.

) I think we all are mixed something. I'm 1/8 Irish. Maybe a mix of other nationalities, who knows.

So, you say that you are most annoyed that the mum hasn't said anything to you? This happened on Thursday and Friday your mum took DN - is that right? Were you expecting her to come round to your house to apologise? Wouldn't that make it into a bigger issue.

My son has been hurt physically several times at school. The school tell me what has happened. I assume the school has dealt with it if they are telling me what happened and I would not expect the mother of the child, who wasn't there herself when it happened, to apologise to me.

I'm probably a bit precious though about making a comment into a big racist issue than most. My best friend from 1975 until 1980 was a black girl. We only stopped being friends just because I moved away. It was a very cosmopolitan area and whilst I noticed difference I didn't see it as better or worse than me although I did envy my friend's braided, beaded hair and the saris that some girls wore in my class. Anyway, when I was 6 yrs old, so 1978, I called my friend a cheeky monkey. The next day her dad walked into the playground, accused my mum of racism and punched her right in the face, smashing her glasses; she couldnt afford to replace them for a month and couldn't make her way into work until they were replaced; The school did nothing. All this because I called my friend a cheeky monkey.

Oh and my white-haired son in called ' bond-boy' or 'blondie' every day. We haven't taken offence yet.

Should be 'blond-boy'.

I think a racist comment from a child always reflects much more badly on the family than the child themselves - especially at the age being discussed here.
(still allowing that this comment could have been more innocently meant)

"Oh and my white-haired son in called ' bond-boy' or 'blondie' every day. We haven't taken offence yet." - well presumably that's because they weren't meaning it offensively and it didn't sound offensive (though why anyone can't summon the will to call him by his name escapes me) as I have said repeatedly - it generally isn't difficult to tell when people are being offensive.

People can come up with as many examples as they like of their white child being called "blondie" and how perfectly innocent it is (the implication presumably I should be OK with a grown man calling my then 2 year old "chinkie") but I'll take offence when its intended if its all the same to you.

Its like saying that calling someone "slim girl" is just the same as calling someone "fat girl" or "skinny girl". It patently isn't and most of us are able to judge that.

Sorry OhDo-late night post...sorry.

Thats a very odd remark.
Its ok to call someone white but not black?
Are you sure?

I cant even put that in context - so people shout 'hello white lady' in the street or walk up and say 'you are white'

That would be odd but it wouldnt be racist. It would be a factual exercise.

If they said 'oi you white bitch' that would be just as bad as 'oi you black bitch'

I doubt anyone would disagree despite what the DM would have you believe.

nosey what that man did to your mum was horrible but its not really relevant to this OP.
The school wouldnt have reported you, they wouldnt have cared. The man was a violent thug and your remark was an excuse to be violent.
I expect he got a good kicking at the police station for doing it. Its not like there was any PC gone mad stuff around in the 70s to help him out.

Either that or locked in a psychiatric hospital.

piglet no need