to think if you want to work in silence, don't go to a coffee shop

[whimsicalname]

I was in a chain coffee shop this morning, across the road from our city museum, waiting with my 2 year old for it to open.

I was drinking my coffee, he sat opposite me eating raisins. Other people were working, or chatting, or reading the paper. You know, doing normal coffee shop stuff.

After a while, the boy gets up to wander around. He's not running, he's not sticky, he's just mingling. He walked towards a man with a laptop. Stood nearby him, and then said hello. Man looked up at me, and said 'do you mind, I'm concentrating here' in a really unpleasant way.

If I'd been with a couple of friends chatting we'd have made a lot more noise but I can't help but feel he probably wouldn't have told us off!

We were across the road from the university library (which has some open access areas) and all of 200m away from the city central library, so plenty of options for quiet. Blimey, he could even have sat in the cathedral for some quiet contemplation.

AIBU or was he?

He was BU for all the reasons you outlined, IMO.

You were. Why should anyone want to interact with your child? And also it is dangerous to let your toddler wander about somewhere where people are carrying hot drinks and might not see him and then trip over him.

You are. I don't relish the company of toddlers who want to 'mingle' either.
I'm just not that fond of OPC. Sorry OP.

I would say he was being a misery guts but maybe he's a nice man who was just having a stressful day. I wouldn't dwell on it.

Oh - and he didn't complain about the noise your son was making - he just made it clear he didn't want to talk to him. Which is fair enough.

A bit of both imo.

He was U for working in a coffee shop and then getting snotty for being disturbed.

But you were U to allow your 2 year old to wander about. Quite apart from the fact that some people dont particularly like small children and dont want one staring at them, it is dangerous. I almost scalded a small child in Costa once when she shot past me as I was carrying my drink to a table. Next time make sure he stays sitting down and it wont be a problem!

I'm afraid I think you were. I don't let my children get down and wander round in- macdonalds coffee shops. For a start they might knock a hot drink on themselves, or bump into someone carrying a hot drink. The guy didn't want to talk to your little boy - yes he's a bit miserable, but why should he be bothered by small children when he is relaxing? Take a toy / book / crayons for your son to play with at at the table whilst you finish next time.

YABU

He wasn't moaning about the noise was he? Just didn't want to entertain your child

Sorry, but you WBU. Not everyone likes/knows how to interact with children.

Did anyone else misread "mingling" as "minging"? :)

YANBU! Love the idea of a 2 year old 'mingling', I have never perfected the art myself :-) But what a miserable git, frankly. Coffee shops are not for concentrating in!

He didn't say he expected silence - but he just didn't want to get caught up in a peekaboo session with your toddler. You know, you smile once and end up having to interact with them for ages whilst the mum gets peace and quiet to read her book

ah now he is probably from the same train of thought as me. Kids shouldnt wander round restaurants, coffee shops, etc. It isnt a park or a playground, its a coffee shop with tables to sit at. If an adult started randomly wandering around talking to people and generally ambling about - be honest you would think it was odd.....

YABU. He can't expect silence,but then I don't believe he was. You should not allow your toddler to wander around a coffee shop.It's dangerous for him,and for other people.

Also YABU to expect him to want to talk to your toddler. He was working,and people,even if not working,generally do not go to coffee shops to 'mingle' but to enjoy a coffee either with friends,or to enjoy a coffee and have some time to themselves,perhaps to read the paper.They're not really there to converse with others.

Other peoples toddlers are utter dullards I hate it when random ones try and speak to me.

YANBU. I'd have "told" him what you've just written in your OP too

This just reminded me...

I remember many an arm wrestle with men on the tube when I used to commute

I think YABU

Clearly you think your child is so endearing that there is wrong with anyone who doesn't want to interact with him. The bloke didn't ask for silence, he just didn't want to speak to your little darling

Doesn't sound like it was because he was working, sounds like t woas because he thought he had the right to sit in a coffee shop without toddlers walking all over him.

I hate it when people let their toddlers/children wander. It IS dangerous. I used to be a waitress. I actually did spill coffee on a toddler once and the mother went ballistic and tried to attack me.

Not something the toddler or I either need in our long term memories. :(

Even if you dont like OPC's though there is no need to talk to them in an unpleasant tone. He could have said it in a nicer way and yes, if he wants complete silence he should go and do his stuff at the library!

I'm suro the OP wouldnt let him wander round the coffee shop frivoulously, and I reckon a restrained 2 year old strapped in a buggy who wants to get out would make far more noise than one that is given a little bit more freedom.

Well I'm very sorry, but on the rare occasion I go into a coffee shop alone, I do not expect to enter into a silent contract making me obliged to entertain OPC while I'm there.
If I haven't got my own kids with me, I'll be damned if I can be arsed with anyone else's!n Take them away please!!

YABU

The fellow didn't say be quiet

Your child should not be wandering around a coffee shop, sorry

Yabu. I only like my own child :o

I don't think the man was being unreasonable. He wasn't asking for silence - he just didn't want to engage with your 2yo. Lots of people don't

I wouldn't let my toddler wander around a coffee shop - lots of people carrying hot drinks & not expecting to look out for toddlers makes it quite dangerous, even if they aren't running wild.

at toddlers being referred to as dullards.

YABU, I would have talked to your kid because I quite like them, even what not my own, but I know plenty who wouldn't want to and really, why should they?

I didnt realise OP was wanting him to entertain her child

Her little boy simply said "hello" - hardly the crime of the century. He could have said hello back, then head down, back to his pc and carried on with what he was doing.