Should I pay double because I have twins?

[pinkandred]

My twins are in reception and one of the mums has made a suggestion that instead of everyone buying bits and bobs for the teacher as an end of term present that maybe we should all put in a fiver and either give her the money or get her some vouchers to spend on whatever she wants.

I'm happy to do this but its been made obvious (without saying it in so many words) that £10 is expected from me.

I would never expect not to pay for one of my children because they are twins but in this case, its not a fee or charge for something, its a gesture for the teacher and is presumably in most, if not all cases, coming out of the parents pocket rather than the child's.

Not all parents are contributing anyway as some either prefer not to or have already made their own arrangements. I know I dont need to contribute at all but I think on the whole its a good idea and it saves me buying something for £5 such as chocs/flowers. But, is it right that they are expecting me to contribute double?

I'd say yes. It's yet another sucker punch for twin mums, but she's taught both your kids. (I have twins too and this would irk me but I'd cough up anyway and say loudly 'here's my TENNER.')

If you would get something from both children instead of 2 separate presents then no it's not reasonable for you to contribute twice.

Give them a fiver. I'm sure they're not going to ask for more once you've handed in your contribution.

ooh, I dont know! So helpful lol
I would be inclined just to give the £10, but if you cant afford it, and wouldnt have spend more than £5 for a present anyway, just give £5.

But Holly, although she's taught both my children its supposed to be a gesture, not a fee for something.

Maybe I will just give a fiver and suggest that they only put one of my twins name on the thank you card, and leave it up to them as to which twin they choose?

When your twins have a party would you expect one present between them or one each? Same thing really and yes, personally you should contribute double (although I can understand its a bit of a bummer.

if you had two dc in two classes would you contribute to both collections?

FWIW I think you should pay whatever you like and that anyone who is bothered by your choice is an arse :)

As others have said, they're not going to ask for another fiver. I'd give the tenner because I'm up myself and would like the moral highground.
I wouldn't do the bit about which twin's name to put on the card though as it'll make you sound a bit bonkers.

Or split the difference and give £7.50, "I wanted to put in a bit extra cos I've got two in her class" etc. And give it in mixed coinage to make the point!

"FWIW I think you should pay whatever you like and that anyone who is bothered by your choice is an arse "

Spot on, SarkyWench. It's a contribution, you want to contribute £2.50 per child, or £5 per teacher, whichever way you want to look at it.

this kind of contribution is normally entirely voluntary anyway (or should be). However, generally speaking, just because your children are the same age it doesn't mean that they are on a BOGOF for things - if they do Tumble Tots, you pay twice, if they go to a party, each one takes a gift just as if they have a party, people will bring a gift for each child.

I don't think £10 is paying double, I think £5 is paying half

I just asked my friend who has twins. She said that whenever there has been a class collection she has been asked to pay the same as everyone else, but she always insists on paying double, on the basis that if the DC were in different classes then it would be double. She thinks it is fairer that way, but does acknowledge that if she was buying her own present, she would pay more than if she only had one child in the class, but probably not twice as much.

You should pay whatever you want.

But personally I would give for both, since if they were in different classes I would.

2's and 1 pence pieces bags
I don't know TBH OP, I am torn. On the one hand I like the idea of a class present, OTOH it gets my goat what is being bought.
Currently I am wavering over a fiver. Ridiculous especially since DD is leaving the school this year.

I would just buy a separate present and not get involved with a collection with suggested donation amount. If someone is deciding how much everyone should put in, it will almost certainly end in tears. Also totally unfair on the people who don't have a spare £5.

Smalltown you pay double because you are thanking 2 teachers at the same time. I am thanking one.

Betty, actually, when my twins have a party it is very very obvious that the amount spent is much less than what is spent on other children. I completely understand that its expensive to by invited to a "double party" so I dont mind but I would say that the amount spent between them in most cases is what is usually spent on one present at a single child party.

Yet, when my twins are going to a party I always buy a gift from each of them and dont reduce the amount spent just because I'm buying twice.

I just dont get it that a donation from the parents towards the teacher as a thank you has to be made twice from the same parents. I shouldnt have to pay to thank her per child.

(slight segway) All three of mine are invited to the same party on Saturday. Do I have to take 3 presents? It's our first party all together.

I think it is better to pay the £10 as there are two children in the class and it's £5 per child. But I expect the contribution is voluntary and it's up to you what you pay. And £5 is quite a big contribution I think and maybe some parents won't be able to afford it. Certainly not one twin's name on the card!

What would you do if it was up to you?

If you wouldn't give anything: Give nothing.
If you'd do one present from both the twins: Give £5
If the twins would give a present each: Give £10.

In all honesty, my dc usually want to give their own personal present anyway, so I end up forking out double anyway.

I wouldn't like to have to donate to a collection where a specific amount was "demanded" - suggested is fine. So you should give what you feel happy with. Twins at DC's school (by school policy) are always put in different classes. So if you were at their school you'd have to donate to 2 separate collections.

No, I wouldnt pay double, I also think you are very generous buying 2 presents, my DCs always go to parties together, and I get 1.

Betty, actually, when my twins have a party it is very very obvious that the amount spent is much less than what is spent on other children. I completely understand that its expensive to by invited to a "double party" so I dont mind but I would say that the amount spent between them in most cases is what is usually spent on one present at a single child party

Yeah you're probably right!! My friend has twin girls but maybe it's coz shes such a close friend and I have know the girls since they were babies that I would always treat them as totally seperate and not skimp on pressies and stuff .....that must be pretty annoying. Sod it, just give a fiver then

Bobbi, I dont think I should get any BOGOF and never do. But this is not about BOGOF, I am not buying anything, I am not paying any fee, I am not paying for a service, it is a gesture towards the teacher. And my gesture is no more or less well-meant than if I have ten children in the class.

Its about thanking someone for what they do.

If it was up to me I would have an envelope for suggested donations and I wouldnt be looking at what anyone has put into it. Why would anyone be bothered as to how much someone else has contributed.

Do people think that the teacher feels more thanks and appreciation from a parent who has contributed more? I dont think so.

£5 per child and a class of what? 20? 30? That is potentially £100-£150 which seems an awful lot. Any time I have been given this kind of gift it has been of a much lower value, say £1-£2 per child.