Should I pay double because I have twins?

[pinkandred]

My twins are in reception and one of the mums has made a suggestion that instead of everyone buying bits and bobs for the teacher as an end of term present that maybe we should all put in a fiver and either give her the money or get her some vouchers to spend on whatever she wants.

I'm happy to do this but its been made obvious (without saying it in so many words) that £10 is expected from me.

I would never expect not to pay for one of my children because they are twins but in this case, its not a fee or charge for something, its a gesture for the teacher and is presumably in most, if not all cases, coming out of the parents pocket rather than the child's.

Not all parents are contributing anyway as some either prefer not to or have already made their own arrangements. I know I dont need to contribute at all but I think on the whole its a good idea and it saves me buying something for £5 such as chocs/flowers. But, is it right that they are expecting me to contribute double?

Well Bucharest, if all the mums at my dc's school are like you and Vestibule then maybe they will. I wont loose any sleep over it, as I only care what my dc & their teacher think. I am not out to impress other parents, or anyone else for that matter.

"I dont think she has worked any harder because I happen to have 2 children in her class as opposed to the other teacher who has my elder child."
I think that two children are harder work than one actually. And I think that it's cheeky of you to want your children to pay half because they're twins.
I hate collections towards teachers and always opt out in order for the children to choose what they want to get for their teacher. But if I did take part, I would pay for each child, because each child has had kind care and treatment from the teacher.
You don't have to pay anything, but you shouldn't expect to contribute half per child because you have twins if you do take part.

FOF, what a strange post, the teacher is paid to teach 30 children, regardless of whether they have the same parents or not. So obviously, she would be teaching 30 whether my dc where twins or not. Very strange post.

Thank you so much for the lecture on the true meaning of giving gifts, I can't tell you how much I appreciate it. I will amend my materialistic ways immediately.

If it's one teacher then I look at it as £5 per family.
Would they expect £15 from parents of triplets?? they probably would wouldn't they
If the other parents are going to cause a fuss then I would probably just pay in the £10 as a fiver isn't worth falling out over, but I don't see why it has to be '£5 per child'

Fwiw we had twins in dd's reception class last year and one donation was made towards vouchers (the same amount that everyone else gave).
This year the twins are split between classes and the mum will probably pay two amounts (again for vouchers) as this time there are two teachers to thank. Makes sense to me.

YANBU

I'd probably not give to it at all and get my own gift if I wanted to give something. I detest being told what to do by bossy people on a power trip.

If they want to organise a collection it should be a voluntary contribution and the amount should be up to the giver. That or not at all.

Wow, I really can't believe this.

I am a teacher and believe me, I'd rather have a box of chocolates or 20 cards from the kids or one card signed by 20 kids. I don't need something that costs £100 or whatever.

It's silly in my opinion.

Exactly yellow. This gift is likely to come to something like £150. Ostentatious and unnecessary. I suspect the teacher would be embarrassed.

:o @ "strange post"
Two of those thirty are yours, as opposed to one. I have had a teacher caring for both my children at the same time- I have felt doubly appreciative. Because not only has she recognized the needs and wants of one, but she's done it with the other too. No, she hasn't worked any harder than she would if it was someone else's child- But she has put a lot of her working day into my offspring, and I appreciate it very much. She's recognized them as individuals, and they'll thank her as individuals.
However, from reading the thread, I can see that this is a big issue for you and you don't want a measured discussion on it. So pay the BOGOF rate, and be happy with your decision.

(another "strange post"???)

Or
Don't get involved it in at all. Give a small heartfelt gift from your twins to your teacher. Why follow the crowd?!

FWIW, I agree that these collections for teachers are ridiculous and unnecessary. That's why I opt out. But if I did opt in, I wouldn't expect to pay half because I had two children in one class.

Well I think that you can look at it either way.

You can say 5GBPper family.

If some parents have a child in another class-do they not give for that teacher?

If your twins were in different classes, what would you do?

£5 is half??

I'd just pay £10, as others have said, if you had two children in different classes you'd be spending that much anyway. If you really don't want to just get the teacher a present from the twins yourself.

I didn't realise teacher presents were such an issue! When I was at school we gave them random stuff like LOADS of bubble bath or little trinket type things. It was only when I was in secondary school that everyone in the class clubbed together to get a bigger present for form teachers.

These collections have become absurdly expensive... they should be voluntary contributions and no one should be told how much to contribute - that's just rude.

When I was rep I would just ask for whatever they wanted to give and only when asked would I make a suggestion - never more than a couple of quid though. There were some mums who gave £20 and some who gave £2 and no one was any the wiser.

On the other hand I do think you should contribute for each child - same as anyone else with children in different classes.

Why don't you just opt out and give one gift from your two instead.

Yes contributions should be private. Just hand round an envelope and buy whatever within the price range according to how much is collected.

You could get a decent bouquet or some wine from a collection like that.

Why are teachers being given £100+ gifts? WTAF? Why do parents feel they have to given anything at all and, if they do, surely a personal token is worth far more than a group gift because it has been given with some thought and care? Please stop competitive gift giving to teachers because in Secondary School we get nothing and I am jealous!

Will you expect other people to buy your children one present between them on their birthdays because you have twins? Or to buy 2 half size presents? This is the same as your teacher logic OP

I agree that the OP should contribute per child.

The issue is to give the suggested 5GPB, or an amount of her choice?

What I would actually suggest is just opt out and do your own thing which could be nothing/ a nice card/ a present to the value you wish to spend

Personally I think whole class presents are a crap idea

Contribute £2.50 per child Who says it must be £5 each? Oh yes the bossy boots who set it up Madness.

Collections are a minefield and they take all the thought away from individual presents/sentiments from specific people. And then there are the unpleasant expectations. I think it's impolite to give a "suggested amount" at all.

Just do your own thing.

Well thats sorted then, I will go with the majority on here and make a donation per child.

As most people tend to agree that the amount given should be up to the individual I choose to give £2.50 per child.

The outcome is the same but the wording is different.

Essential - as Ive said further up the thread, my dc very often get half size/value presents. Doesnt really bother me, its the thought that counts and I certainly dont expect anything from anyone, and Ive taught my children the same.