To think that my childminder puts her own children before mine?

[BlackholesAndRevelations]

of course I'm not stupid and I know she will do this... It's just that I'm getting fed up with her cutting corners for the sake of her kids, when I'm paying her to do me a service.

I'm thinking of sending them to nursery full time instead, so that i know where they are all the time (instead of on massive long car journeys), and can pick them up whenever i want (instead of waiting for them to return from long journeys)... despite believing that my baby should be with a childminder (he's 9 months at the mo but will be almost 1 when I return to work).

WWYD? (re: nursery or childminder)

Haha mosman! I did wonder

The plan is part time nursery and cm so I think I might just see how it goes before making a decision... Although I will still make the list as soon as ive been to nursery settling.

Thanks for all the responses!

A friend childminds, and her baby charge is in the car all day on school runs, preschool runs, ballet runs,different destinations all the time for different kids. The most interesting thing that happens to the baby all day is a trip to the supermarket or bank.

At nursery babies do singing, messy play, loads of rotated toys, and the staff aren't going to be doing their housework while baby is plonked in font of beebies.

Disclaimer - I am sure some CMs are brilliant.

I think the issue is that the role of a CM has changed massively from Mrs Smith over the road looking after children for pin money. It's now a career choice for many and they earn good money from it. If it's a profession then it should be performed professionally and that is not carting the kids around Tesco's and germy surgeries.

If the hour-long (round trip) car journeys are for the school run for the CM's DC then YABU, as this was foreseeable, as was the concern about road safety.

Have more sympathy if she is going way out of the way or doing lots of extra journeys to take/collect her DC from activities, but there has to be some give and take.

We have used four different nurseries / preschools and a fab CM for our DDs and the CM provides far, far better care IME, especially for DD2. Mainly because the Dc can bond with the one person and other mindees, don't have to interact with loads of DC, get ill less, get outside and to different places, and get more attention than they did/would at nursery. I still shudder at the memories of (outstanding-rated) nurseries for DD1 between age one and two.

Ask the nursery for staff turnover and child absence due to sickness data, although IME many lie about or don't even collect this.

YANBU....I hated that DC£ spent so much time in the car (taking DS's to school and nursery, collecting DS2 before lunch/collecting DS2 from school).It totallyed 1.5 hours a day. I didn't think it was healthy, and that's why I stopped childminding (or rather didn't start again after she was born).

But I do believe a childminder who doesn't have such a routine is preferable to a nursery.

Mosman, I doubt very many CMs earn "good money", especially sole CMs caring for tiny DC, with the strict limitations on numbers etc.

'good money'

'Career choice'

Hahahahahahaha

Maybe in some parts of the country, but not in my reality.

A one off hour long car journey wouldn't bother me, but I wouldn't be happy about it regularly - actually neither would the CM as DS is often and spectacularly car sick

However, I like that he is in a home environment and am happy that his CM gets on with her life to an extent. I know they go to lots of playgroups, the library, the park etc but I'm sure occasionally she does some hoovering and puts on a load of washing while he is there. The CM doesn't have young children but she does often look after her grandchildren and DS gets taken to her DIL's house etc.

He will be going to nursery when he is 2 though.

There is one CM on another site who opnely admits to 8 over 8's, perfectly legal and not bad at £3 per child per hour if you ask me.

"He will be going to nursery when he is 2 though."

But why? Why not 3?

£24 per hour will only be during holidays/after school, and will be a max. She won't always be earning £24 per hour. And you do have to entertain them. Brave women.

I would leave her with the childminder, but would speak to the childminder about the amount of journeys she's making. It sounds as though she's really good to your children and they are really fond of her.

My children went to a childminder and were really happy there. I liked them doing everyday things.

You could ask her if there's any way she can cut down the journeys or ask someone else to pick up her children.

I wouldn't bother about the visits to the doctor's - most children see that as a day out.

Perhaps the legalities are different in England? I am not allowed more than 6 children at a time, of which no more than 3 can be under the age of 5, and no more than 1 can be under 12 months. INCLUDING my own children and my son at 15 is still counted in in those numbers until he is 16. This massively cuts down earning potential as I cannot have full numbers even when the older kids are at school. Mind £9 an hour to look after 2 per-schoolers and a baby in no-way reflects the responsibility of the job, but it is above minimum wage, as long as they do not attend nursery and their parents work full time.

Childminding is not a job i would choose to make a career out of, nor would I do it to make easy money. For me, it allows me to put food on the table for my kids without having to put them into a nursery or a child minder miles away from where we live, which would also entail me moving my children's schools (as I am the only one in the village), and I know that if stopped just now 5 other children would be passed from one friend to another to make do. I would earn much more money, have much better career prospects and get to speak to adults occasionally if I were to go back to teaching, though there is scarily little difference in the quantity of paperwork.

I have a little sympathy for you but it does beg the question as to why you didn't know this was going to be happening when you signed the contract? And if you did know why you then proceeded to sign?

I have been a chilminder for 13 years now and have never had any issues with any of my parents. Everything I am going to be doing is laid out right at the beginning of the contract and if the prospective client doesn't feel its beneficial to his/her children then we dont go ahead.

My sister used to be a Nanny, the children in her care often used to stay at my mum and dads with her, go to my grandparents caravan, days out with my mum and me and always shopping with dsis. They loved it and so did their parents - everyone's different I suppose. Thank the lord I have my dear old mil to look after my boys, 76 and she enjoys nothing more than a light sabre fight in the garden!

A lot of the negatives here are reasons I picked a nursery as for us i felt that was a better option for numerous reasons. However, every family is differrent, every setting is different and the key is finding which one you are your children are happiest with

Imo, there's no way she's going to ask someone else to pick up her dc. Being able to do her own children's school run is probably why she chose CM.

I don't do chores whilst I am being paid at work though and that's the crux of the matter.

No, the crux of the matter is that she is being paid to provide the kind of environment a child would experience at home. That includes activities like shopping. Of course a good CM will also be going to play groups and doing craft and reading to a child etc. She is not being paid enough money though, to behave like a nanny and do nothing for herself during that time. If parents want a nanny, they should get one.

Surely parents have some awareness of what they agreeing to, when they pay £3.50 - £5 ph, rather than the wage a nanny would expect. They must know it's because their dc won't be getting undivided attention the whole time.

Also it is irrelevant if a CM earns above minimum wage over all. What matters here is that the parent is getting childcare and is paying below minimum wage to the person providing it.

They have a right to expect a safe environment, and for some of the activities to be centred around their dc. They are not individually paying enough to dictate all activities.

Childminding is 'home-based' care which inevitably includes trips to the shops, doctors etc just as it would be at home. Nursery is generally based in one building. However, ALL early years provision has to follow the Early Years Foundation Stage which supports childrens learning and development.

As a childcare professional with over 30 years experience, I would say that parents need to be happy with the care their children are being given. If they are not then I would suggest that the child is not in the right setting.

Lynette - I want him to go to nursery at 2 for some practical reasons (eg. it is closer to home than the CM, better for my work) and also because I think he will start to benefit from the wider range of toys and activities, highly qualified staff, more children etc at that age.

I went to a childminder with my sister since we were tiny babies up until 13. She was like another mum to us and did all the fun things with us that we could t do with our mum as she worked full time- trips to the fish market, the beach in the summer, museums and drives around the country- she even took us in the car whilst she dropped her daughter off at school, had us in with her in the doctor's surgery and SHOCK- she even took us to the bank to lodge her wages!! Did my parents get rat arsed because we didn't have her full attention and she did her personal messages whilst she was at work? No, because they appreciated that she was looking after us a she would her own children. If people want their wee ones to have someone's undivided attention then either hire a nanny for twice the price or do it yourself because they won't get it at a nursery or childminder.

Karma, it's not that you as a parent are paying a low wage, it's that you and the other children's parents are splitting the wage. If the childminder is caring for three children, she's getting £12-£15 per hour, isn't she? And really, if one of those children is her own, she's still getting that equivalent. If she went out to work, that's what she'd have to pay.

You need to be happy with your childcare so if you are not I would swap.

For the reasons above and others i'd always choose a nursery over a childminder if i needed to but its personal preference.

There are advantages and disadvantages to both CMs and nuseries just as there are wonderful CMs and fucking awful ones, and wonderful nurseries and fucking awful ones.

If you are not happy with the type of service that your CM is offering, change your childcare. Not all CMs are so unapproachable that you could not raise this matter with her.

IB, yes overall she is getting above MW, but none of the individual parents are actually paying MW or above, so none of them have a right to demand a nanny type service or dictate how she spends her day.

Also, if she is getting paid by, say, two families, then she is doing twice the work.