to have put dd's dinner in the bin?

[greenwheelie]

Dinner tonight - scampi, potato wedges and salad. I put some chunks of beetroot in the salad. DD2(6) anounced she hates beetroot. I told her she could eat one piece only. We have always had the rule (dd is 3rd child) that you have to try everything on the plate.

My Mum and Dad are here for the evening. DD sat and cried, fake-coughed and kept shouting that she was going to be sick. We ignore her for a while, then I said if she couldn't be quiet and eat then she would have to leave the room. She continued so I told her to go. After 5 minutes she was quiet so I asked her to come back and join us. She immediately started the drama again. I told her she was spoiling the dinner for all of us and if she didn't stop that would be the end of her meal. She got a piece of beetroot on her fork and waved it around, crying and coughing. So I took her food away and sent her out. The food is now in the bin and dd is in bed.

My parents are now saying I am like an army general and that dd will be hungry. Was I being unreasonable and AIBU to feel very unsupported in trying to discipline a strong-willed child?

So you waste a whole diner just because of a bit of beetroot?

Why not just remove the one offending beetroot and let her eat the rest.

Not at all, she had a 2nd chance to quit pissing about & didn't take it-parents, don't you just love them

Is she often like this? Or is it a one off?

I wouldn't have done that either.

What difference does it make whether she ate her beetroot? People are allowed not to like things!

I would have taken the beetroot off the plate and let her eat the rest.

Were your parents in the house?

We always had the rule that they have to try everything. She needed to eat one tiny bit. If she had simply said she wasn't eating it in a calm way, I would have said fine, but then you don't get dessert.

However, it wasn't really about the food, it was about dd wanting to control the situation.

Did she do because her GPs were there do you think?

my rule is - u try it, or i bin it
personally dont think they should be made to eat everything on a plate, just because this issue of portion size - figure my dc will eat what they want / need. but they must have at least 2 good mouth fulls before declaring they hate it - once i have sent my eldest to bed without tea so no i dont think u r

It does seem a little harsh what if she just really doesnt like beetroot?. I would have just put the plate in front of her and if she picked out the beetroot and ate the rest then no real harm done.

oops sorry I see that they were round.

She is often dramatic about things, yes.

If the house rule is to try it and she knows this the UWNBU

YABU, not least for spoiling your mum and dad's meal with you, can't have been much fun for them to witness all this fuss about a piece of beetroot.

She would behave like that with parents there or not, it's just more stressful for me to deal with when they are staring at everything I do.

It was the hysterical behaviour which ended her meal, not the fact she was refusing to eat.

Nope I don't think you were being unreasonable. This is not about the beetroot, it is about her behaviour I think.

YABsomewhatU to put perfectly good food in the bin though. Wrap it up and put it in the fridge!

I wouldn't have binned the meal, but I would have told her she wasn't having dessert and would go to bed after she ate her dinner.
I agree with the try a bit rule, however, so ywnbu to have carried out your threat; it was just a bit harsh to start with.

She made it a battle in response to you making it a challenge.

It's a beetroot. Throwing out her whole dinner was cruel.

My dd is getting much more fussy than she used to be and she has always been a fuss pot and it is so annoying that food is wasted. They refuse their tea and then later ask for more food. I spent £133 today on a food shop and I am not impressed if they start on food I have planned for another day.

Yeah maybe I shouldn't have binned the meal - I quite fancy it myself now.

I do feel a bit guilty that she went to bed without dinner, but she's asleep already so we'll se what happens.

My Dad keeps saying "she must be starving" to which I replied "then she can eat a good breakfast." He thinks I'm really mean.

If she doesn't like beetroot I would have told her to just leave it.

I'd rather shit in my hands and clap than eat beetroot.

The thing is, she was naughty for being a drama llama about it but perhaps you shouldn't have put beetroot in her salad, knowing she's never tried it before.

Probably would have been easier if you'd kept a bit separate and got her to try it then.

Our house rule is never make a battle out of food so I do think it's unreasonable to throw a whole dinner in the bin just because your DD wouldn't eat a part of it.

I'd have packed the whole lot for her lunch tomorrow

Dictatorial children area no-no. A simple "I don't like the smell/texture" etc rather than a full on hissy would have sufficed.

Although, to be fair, beetroot is vile.

Why not ask your dad what would have happened if you had pulled that stunt as a child, and tell them to answer honestly.

I hate that rule! Its mean to make a child put something in their mouth that they don't want to! How would you like it!?

We had a child with eating issues due to a problem as a baby. We were advised at the hospital by the nutritionist to keep meal times unpressured to help. It also was advised never to take food away as punishment or given as a reward. Good advice for encouraging a healthy relationship with food.

I wonder if your daughter was trying to get some control over her own life there. If you can't have a bit of control over what you put in your mouth then what can you. Its not like she wasn't going to eat anything, it was just one thing.