I think I have just caught my dh lying to me...

[Corrie4Ever]

I've changed my bname for this one, it seems pretty serious
DH went to London today for a work meeting. Said in the morning he "wouldn't be home till late, 9 or 10 pm".
"Why?" I said. "Those meetings never go on much past 5pm do they?" (is a 3 hour journey back to us, max)
"Oh, uh, no," says he, a bit flummoxed. "I suppose I'll be back more like 8ish then."
Thought no more of it. then got text at 7.50pm saying "some poor soul has jumped in front of the train, gonna be late"
Followed by "god I hate London!"
Then I rang him at 9pm and he said he was back out of London and had picked his car up at Basingstoke, and was driving home. I asked about the suicide, he said the train was sat on the rails for AGES while police investigated someone jumping under the train in front of him all this on the railway just between Waterloo and Clapham.
I begin to remember that earlier conversation this morning.
Look on the internet. No record of any such incident, delays, nothing.
Ring South West TRains, nothing happend at all...
He is still not back- what do you guys reckon??
WE have been together 8 years, 2dcs, never ever had any cause to suspect anything before...happily married...I think...

Totally agree with Lequeen

LeQ did you miss the bit about the dodgy hooker business card?

Yes the OP sounds more than a little paranoid, but under the circumstances I don't blame her.

He was probably like leq says trying to get some 'time'! My dp goes to the music studio and is never back when he says he just loves it. And I am teh same out for dinner with mates I lie about it all cost,how long I'll be out,how much i drank etc etc.You are a couple but you are still you. Let him be unless he has form for cheating I really think its nothing

Why not do something radical like talking to him. Casually say " Oh lets see anything on newsite about attempted suicide .." google it or whatever when not there you will see his face and then let rip !!! If it is innocent (pint with mates, although why he could not tell you that or something else you need to find out. If that fails Jeremy Kyle for a lie detector.

I agree that it sounds like you check up on him a lot and if my partner did the same I would hate it.

I don't agree with snooping/checking up but I can see how you'd be tempted. Shocked by how often it's given as advice on MN. Imagine you find nothing - are you then going to admit to your husband you were checking up?

The hooker card is dodgy as fuck and his excuse wouldn't wash. But then, we have hooker cards that we've picked up because the picture was particularly rampant or silly, so it could be something innocent that he feels bad telling you (eg it turned him on to think about it.)

badtasteflump did you miss the bit about "ages and ages ago"?

OP - my DH uses that line. He was home on time last night, no problems.

Sorry.

I think if my DH started to cross question em and google every time I said there was a holdup on the train I'd leave the bastard :o

I think you have been worried since you saw the massuese card and have almost been waiting for something to happen. And here it is. Or at least you think it is.

If DH said 'I'm going to London and I'll be back at 10', it wouldn't occur to me to check up on him - even if I knew his meeting usually finished at 5. If he says he's coming home at 10, that obviously fits in with his plans.

You have been suspicious of him for a while now and you are looking for something to fit in with your theory.

Yes ok it was 'ages and ages ago' but however long ago it was, that 'issue' doesn't seem to have been dealt with, making the OP suspicious of every little thing.

I agree they need to talk - but if they found it that easy to discuss things then she probably wouldn't be on here in the first place.

BUT if you really had been visiting/contemplating visiting a dodgy masseuse behind your wife's back, would you leave the card on a table in plain view?
More than likely it was with a taxi card/put in his wallet as a prank/someone elses.

I would say to him that I was worried when he hadn't arrived home by 10 and I called the rail company to check when the trains would be running. They told me there were no delays.
That doesn't sound like I was checking up on him, but he will have to give an explanation.

Ah didn't see the masseuse bit that it more dodgy

I don't know anybody who I think would use a prostitute but men obviously do so it's not unlikely that the op's DH could be. The card would make me very very suspicious and I too would then be looking for further evidence.

Again being late in itself would be fine, but the deliberate setting the scene that morning would make me jump to the same conclusions.

I don't think i would be able to keep quiet but i would be afraid that confronting him would allow him to wiggle out of it this time and ensure he is better covering his tracks next time. Then you'll never know.

I would need to find out for sure either by keeping quiet and waiting for the next thing (not sure I could do that) or by looking for evidence this time. I would be hoping that I find nothing but I would need to know one way or another.

Having said that if you would definitely not leave anyway why torture yourself? It would be better not to know in the first place and give him the benefit of the doubt.

Good lord - the naivety on this thread is jaw-dropping.

how many peopld do you know that go around leaving 'joke' masseuse cards in married men's pockets?

How many people do you know that would take one to somebody else's house and somehow leave it behind?

Good lord - the naivety on this thread is jaw-dropping.

Actually, i was thinking that when they say "only the paranoid survive", I never realised how right they were....

I don't know many men who would use a masseuse and then leave their card on a table in full view in the family home either, Nancy.

The card was ages (and ages) ago. He wasn't"carrying it around". It was on the TABLE, in view.

Really, if he was sneaking off then a) He wouldn't leave evidence around in full view and b) He wouldn't carry around such evidence on him in case he got found out.

Maybe (shock horror), just maybe, he did tell the truth and it did fall out of his brothers pocket or something, he found it, picked it up, and placed it on the table as a reminder to hand it back.

Why is it where men is concerned, they are always automatically thought the worst of?

If it was a bloke posting this, he would be told to stop being a controlling bastard.

'hen-pecked'?

Get yee to the Feminist board right now missy!

I missed the bit about the card. In that case it's a lot more serious. Not sure I would swallow the tale about the dropped card. It would make me really suspicious.

Nancy66 Good lord the paranoia on this thread is jaw-dropping.

Not everything in life is a conspiracy/lie/cover-up/cheat/trick/swindle/fraud

I work for a rail company and suicides are the biggest cause of delay on the railway, first to cable theft. It is perfectly possible for people to be sat on a train for 2-3 hours while the driver is relieved of his duties. The train can run with body parts strewn still, that's not the issue. The issue is the driver. (Have also checked and there was indeed a fatality. These aren't always documented by the train companies though, and you'd need to know the carrier even if they were)

But, in this case, the OP's husband seemed to pave the way for a delay BEFORE it happened. He expected to be home at 10. I don't think he's having an affair though, I think he wanted a cheeky social with friends and thought the wife had a problem with it. Clearly true considering she was keen to almost warn him that there would be no need to be home later than 8.

Hmm, the thing about it being a cheeky break to go to the pub doesn't sound right because he picked his car up when he got off the train. Do men really go to the pub and lie to their wives for the sake of one pint?