I think I have just caught my dh lying to me...

[Corrie4Ever]

I've changed my bname for this one, it seems pretty serious
DH went to London today for a work meeting. Said in the morning he "wouldn't be home till late, 9 or 10 pm".
"Why?" I said. "Those meetings never go on much past 5pm do they?" (is a 3 hour journey back to us, max)
"Oh, uh, no," says he, a bit flummoxed. "I suppose I'll be back more like 8ish then."
Thought no more of it. then got text at 7.50pm saying "some poor soul has jumped in front of the train, gonna be late"
Followed by "god I hate London!"
Then I rang him at 9pm and he said he was back out of London and had picked his car up at Basingstoke, and was driving home. I asked about the suicide, he said the train was sat on the rails for AGES while police investigated someone jumping under the train in front of him all this on the railway just between Waterloo and Clapham.
I begin to remember that earlier conversation this morning.
Look on the internet. No record of any such incident, delays, nothing.
Ring South West TRains, nothing happend at all...
He is still not back- what do you guys reckon??
WE have been together 8 years, 2dcs, never ever had any cause to suspect anything before...happily married...I think...

i wouldn't have even thought of it being a hooker - but the fact he had a hooker's card is a bit dodgy don't you think?

The massage card on top of everything else is what would seal it for me.

I would ask more about the suicide - along the lines of "so sad, was it a man or woman? How old were they? Oh you don't know? Let me google it so"

I think you will be able to tell a lot from his reaction. I think he will get VERY flustered and try to stop you.

I don't think he was that late home then - sounds like he was due home at 8pm-ish but pitched up sometime between 9pm - 10pm?

To be honest it sounds like something I have been known to do - quick drink after work with colleagues in London before rolling getting on the train back to Manchester - probably an hour or two later than I could have got home but yes, if you know you're missing bath time and bed time anyway, then it doesn't make a whole lot of difference.

Does he feel able to go for a drink in London after meetings from time to time or do you always expect him home 3 hours after the meeting? Just playing devil's advocate here - if he feels under pressure to rush home each time, maybe he would be worried about telling the truth, even though nothing terrible is 'going on' - other than he might have to lie to feel like he can go out for a drink. Far better for him to be up front but for you to let him know that's OK - as long as you get time out as well!

It might still have happened as I don't think these incidents are made public knowledge right away. But the delay would be noted. I expect he'd just be watching football. Still a bit cheeky though. I wouldn't jump to the conclusion of an affair for something like this.

"And I hardly doubt that they announced on the train that someone had committed suicide."

Unfortunately this does happen - it's happened to me twice now. Once 10 years ago, and once just last year.

Suicides aren' made public news, you wouldn't see it on the news but trains would be serverly delayed so you would see the delays on the trains website.

Maybe he just wanted to go out for a drink after work but didn't feel like he could say that to you.

I think he was going to go for a few beers after work & watch a bit of footie but decided against it when you pulled him on the ETA for home. Sods law then intervened & he ended up delayed due to the suicide/attempted suicide & now you are accusing him of all sorts without actually having any facts. Stop tying yourself in knots about this & be a grown up-ask him.

I wouldn't confront him. If he's innocent, he'll be hurt and outraged. If he's not, he'll deny everything and that leaves you nowhere to go. I would do some digging.

But if 8pm return was already too late to help with the dcs then surely op wouldnt have minded a later return? If it was football he should have said.

I wouldn't be happy if DH lied about wanting to go and see mates. He could if he wanted to - why lie?

I commute on the Waterloo to Clapham line. There are frequent incidents where it is either announced or very strongly implied, or just remoured due to unclear announcements that there was a fatality in the track. From my experience this is very common (several times a year, sometimes in clusters even of one a week or more.) In this sense the story is very plausible however in my experience really significant delays would always be mentioned on the SW Trains website.

However it would NOT make the BBC (or any other news) as it's such a regular occurrence.

Just because the OP rang and asked, doesn't mean they had the correct information. I once called to check for delay times as I was collecting my Nan. I was told it would be arriving on time, but ended up waiting around for just under an hour.

Cock Ups with information can and do happen.

Personally, if I said I would be home for 9/10pm, then questioned why as I should be home by 8, it would make me feel awkward and like I am not allowed to go out, whether I was going to miss the DC bedtime anyway.

Also, if he was cheating, why the hell would he keep texting with updates? Surely he would of been otherwise occupied?

The more I think about it, the more I am convinced he is at most guilty of going for a sneaky drink.

I am rather surprised to hear they do announce suicides on the trains though.

LeQueen - that's a fairly big assumption to make? (Unless I've missed something?) Sounds a bit harsh.

I have been on a train where they have announced a fatality on the line.

They are quite common sadly. I know this because my brother works at the train depot and often works on the clean up crew. Not pleasant :(

i know my H says he is on the M5 when he is 10 mins from the pub. I know, he knows I know - i rip the piss. we laugh - cut him some slack

What we have here, is a classic case, of a guy just wanting to grab a quick beer on his way home - but knows he's married to someone who likes him to account for every minute of his day, is resentful that she does most of the child care, and will swiftly resort to checking websites and cross referencing his story...

Thats my take too...and it was so comon in London when i worked there as to be almost a stereotype.

I hate to say it but I think I agree with LeQueen ^^^

Everyone here is so quick to jump to conclusions

GhostOfAWasp - no bigger an assumption to state he must have been seeing a hooker/having affair etc, which has been suggested on this thread, and to start secretly collecting financial data on him etc.....

I agree with LeQueen!

Op, you need to calm down and just ask him. You seem to have been convinced in a fairly short period of time, by people you don't know, that your dh is having an affair and you need to start secretly making plans for the inevitable divorce and financial settlement!

Sounds like a lie to me. My ex used to do this all the time - was only a few weeks later when I found out that these meetings he attended weren't the "3 hour long" meetings, they were 15 minutes. Because you sensed the lie, it's perfectly normal to double check (not like you were hacking into his e-mail account or anything, public information is there!)

OP, it doesn't meant he's having an affair, but if he's lying, that's not ok or alright.

HE WAS CARRYING A HOOKER'S BUSINESS CARD !!!!!

In my relationship if we want to do something social we say to the other one "was thinking of going for a few drinjs after my meeting...that ok with you?" and of course, it IS ok.

That is why I would be cynical about ops dh as I assume the situation from my point if view and assume f

LeQueen - excellent post.

This thread is a perfect example of the internet at its worst. Minor problem at home which doesn't need the world and his wife to sort out but by going public the OP is given scare stories about her husband, her sexual health and the overall state of her marriage.

She posted just after 10pm about a suicide at around 8pm. The train company's got better things to do than update its website that quickly - think about the relatives if nothing else.

For those of you who don't travel into and out of London you have no idea how much you can be delayed by. My record for a 35 minute commute is over 3 and a half hours due to a suicide followed by a train breakdown. "Person Under" is the usual euphemism for the former, "operational difficulties" for the latter.

You obviously dont feel ready to confront your DH with your fears.

So you have 2 options

1: Carry on and forget this has happend
2: Carry on but be more aware and alert and see if there are more times he or has odd lateness/unexplained whereabouts etc, odd mobile phone behaviour etc etc. and take it from there.

Of course - he may have "lied" for a nice reason. Is it possible he is organising a surprise for you?? It may not be because he is up to no good.

Maybe - I'd just prefer not to jump to conclusions and start chucking mud at either of them without more info.