I think I have just caught my dh lying to me...

[Corrie4Ever]

I've changed my bname for this one, it seems pretty serious
DH went to London today for a work meeting. Said in the morning he "wouldn't be home till late, 9 or 10 pm".
"Why?" I said. "Those meetings never go on much past 5pm do they?" (is a 3 hour journey back to us, max)
"Oh, uh, no," says he, a bit flummoxed. "I suppose I'll be back more like 8ish then."
Thought no more of it. then got text at 7.50pm saying "some poor soul has jumped in front of the train, gonna be late"
Followed by "god I hate London!"
Then I rang him at 9pm and he said he was back out of London and had picked his car up at Basingstoke, and was driving home. I asked about the suicide, he said the train was sat on the rails for AGES while police investigated someone jumping under the train in front of him all this on the railway just between Waterloo and Clapham.
I begin to remember that earlier conversation this morning.
Look on the internet. No record of any such incident, delays, nothing.
Ring South West TRains, nothing happend at all...
He is still not back- what do you guys reckon??
WE have been together 8 years, 2dcs, never ever had any cause to suspect anything before...happily married...I think...

Just to add - he wasn't having an affair. He actually drove around for a bit and then parked somewhere and sulked in a cold car until he calmed down and realised he was being a jerk. :)

bumbleymummey he is having an affair - with me sounds exactly like my OH!!

You're welcome to him when he's being a grumpy sod sensual!

This the one bumbley? You were advised to take care of yourself, lock up and go to bed, and get back up to let him in if he knocked. You were reassured that he was very unlikely he has crashed his car - what a bunch of harbringers of doom those relationships harpies are eh? One person asked if there were any other worrying behaviours, they didn't suggest he was having an affair. A few people indicated that they felt he was being childish and that they'd be cross, but as you said "he realised he was being a jerk."

I agree with madonna.

Actually it was the lock the door, go to bed, turn off your phone advice that would have made things worse nutella.

Was that directed at me tough? I'm not sure what comment you think I should have apologised for.

Tell you what, why don't you link me up to the relationships thread where the bloke hasn't actually done anything wrong, or at least not enough to warrant leaving, and the board consensus is pushing her out the door. Or the one where the OP had a bad feeling like he was hiding something and the advice and support given was incorrect. If what you are saying is true, it should be very easy, no?

Do you realise what a MASSIVE statement this is?

And, improbable as it should be, you're right!

Fuck me, we're brilliant

Cheers, garlic and tough . Couldn't be arsed reading through this whole thread to see what you posted bumbley, sorry. Probably best to presume not everything's about you.

About your own thread - you appear to have confused locking the door and trying to get some sleep with changing the locks. It was actively suggested that you get up to let him in if he hadn't taken his key.

Not sure how disengaging from his wee flounce and not anxiously waiting up would have "escalated" things: what, he would have been angry you weren't waiting up and hanging on the phone? Would that have been reasonable of him?

No-one advised to you to leave him. No-one said he was abusive, or having an affair. The general opinion was that you needed to take care of yourself, calm down, and he was being twattish in this scenario which as you have admitted, he was. You seriously have an issue with all that? Ah well.

Right, I must stop debating on MN and do something proper with the day....

As the general mood of the board I don't see the generalised hatred of men of which you speak

Well you wouldn't, would you - as Mandy Rice Davies once observed.

The inconvenient truth is the MN Relationships board is famed far and wide (even outside MN) to be heavily populated by miserable misandrists.

So why not link us to a few threads, Whatmeworry?

"the MN Relationships board is famed far and wide (even outside MN) to be heavily populated by miserable misandrists."

Whatmeworry that simply isn't true. It just isn't.

What is true is that the relationships board is heavily populated by people who think it's not okay to treat other people like shit. Regardless of gender.

That's it really.

"Non-sequitur" means "it does not follow" - I could say that people from Wales are famous for shagging sheep, but without further evidence (photographs of their non-existant sheep shagging parties f'instance) it wouldn't be true. As you have a whole board of readily accessible evidence of miserable misandry it really shouldn't be too tough to prove your point without resorting to "my mate said so".

nutella, I don't find this

BogeyfaceMon 27-Feb-12 10:45:12

"A little bit cross" Really?

If my OH had a paddy, stormed out and refused to answer the phone or texts then I would be bloody fuming! Sounds like he has you exactly where he wants you!

On bumbleys thread at all supportive. It basically hints that he has her wrapped around his little finger, and that she is a fool/mug/idiot/whatever.

Although I agree, nothing else bad was said, and I haven't read any other posts on there so not going to base my opinion on one posters comment.

I have just googled 'Relationship board on mumsnet' to read about this 'fame'. I can't really find anything particularly interesting whatmeworry.

Could you post some links to read please?

I agree shull, that particular comment was harsh, bogey must have been on day release from AIBU ; but as you say you can't draw solid conclusions about a whole board or even a whole thread from one post. The vast majority are coming from a position of genuinely wanting to help as opposed to wanting to judge. Have a wee read around, it's a very supportive board which has helped a lot of people out of appalling situations.

so we still don't know what happened then? Pah!

BorisJohnsonsHair you are aware that this is an actual woman's actual life we're talking about, not a particularly riveting episode of whatever shite you watch on telly?

Nutella, one poster said about getting up to let him in. The others said to give him 20/30 mins then lock up, turn off my phone and go to bed. That would have made the situation much worse. Maybe you're happy enough to do things like that to your DH after a silly argument, I'm not.

Also, there are threads where people go overboard with their 'advice' and actually scare posters off or they turn on the OP, insult her and/or verbally abuse her because she didn't follow their 'advice'. Some people do get help in the relationships board but some really don't.

can someone update me without me reading all the last few pages - was he lying to her or not or does she still not know?

Also nutella, I came to the thread very late - after all the attacks on the OP so I wasn't sure why toughasoldboots had posted that after your reply to me as if I had been arguing with you for some time and was obviously never going to apologise for something. Maybe she's mixed me up with someone else...

God what's wrong with you people? This is a real woman with a real problem, it's not entertainment you know.

Weird weird weird.